MOOP!

Every once in a while, something will happen in my private life, that I don't feel would be kind to share in the public journal, usually because it involves someone else, but occasionally just because I do have my own life (kinda) and a right to at least a little bit of privacy.

Of course, it being me, I immediately want to get the input of the world at large, for virtually everything that ever happens ever. Breaking up with Blue Canary is a prime example of this --the day it happened, I made a filtered post, to some of the people I was closer to at that point, and I didn't bother to tell anyone else until a few weeks later.

So yes. Something kindof completely unexpectedly sweet and mature and wonderful just happened, and I'm not gonna give you more details than that, nyah nyah. There is a reason I have a cryptic tag on here.

((Man, if you could tag twitter entries though, that would get waaaay more milage than over here. I use twitter as my immediate "THIS IS MY MOOD" all the time, which leads to a lot of crypticness.))

Semirelatedly, I'll never understand why I find it so awesome when people act like sane adults. I was clearly brought up by society to be cynical and emo or something, because it throws me for a loop when I *don't* get abused by the world sometimes. So yay?

*smiles like a ninny*

~Sor
MOOP!

So, I've decided to start a 2009 project, that I try to do, if not every day, damn close to it. I am calling it "X Years Ago Today" and it is basically me finding out what younger!Sor was like --each day, I will trawl back in my livejournal(s) archives, as well as possibly the Behind the Wall file or whatever history I feel like looking at, and find out/post what I was doing X years ago on this date.¹

Today's x is three. Three years ago today, it was 2006, and I went on a drama field trip, where apparently I was made more aware of my desperate love for androgony, and was able to ascertain that I Like Genderfuck.

16!Sor was so cute. And of course, I'm damn sure she already knew about her draglove, later in the year she went out with a genderwhatever pre-everything ftm². But still, it's sweet of her to make a special note of it.

~Sor
MOOP!

1: If I decide that it's too boring or cluttery here, I'll post it over in sorspeakswords instead.
2: That would be Blue Canary. I do not stress about using female pronouns for her, because she has given me the impression that she really just resoundingly doesn't care, genderwise.

Soyeah.

I'm working at Target these days. Yeah, it sucks. I have fully entered the disillusioned worker stage. If you have it, go watch "Mannys First Day" (The second episode of Black Books). Fran's expression just prior to her saying "I haven't slept with you...and you're NOT trying to freak me out..." is exactly how I feel.

Day camp is not bad, besides the fact that I have a unit full of additude. Luckily, the two prep girls who I thought I would not at all get along with are not that bad --one of them was attempting to teach me ghetto slang (I am apparently never to use the phrase "gettin' busy" --she didn't exactly explain why) and the two of them can pretty much just entertain each other.

The complete demon child, who has been trying to outstubborn me by completely ignoring everything I say and not talking to me has gotten better. Plus, whatever. So she's not talking to me --that makes my job easier.

And then we had thunder, and got herded into Peterson. Fine, whatever. Songs could amuse the girls, the girls could amuse myself, and Veronica is an adapt at taking charge of large groups of people. I myself decided to be an adapt at herding girls through the bathroom, and while I was holed up in there, all the Quartermaster girls (The cool kids at camp) and Blue Canary, dissapeared.

Fine. Whatever.

And then, Blue FINALLY came back, babbling something about PickPocket hurting her arm. Whatever, drama.

And I popped in on PickPocket, and she seemed hurt but being taken care of, and I popped back out and Blue grabbed me and hugged me and started crying on my shoulder and just generally needing to be held.

Blue...doesn't cry on shoulders. She's damnably closed off, unfortunately. As Kawa and Wolf wandered through and joined our "ohshitohshit sobfest" in the corner, I began to get the whole Something Is Wrong vibe.

The worst part of people you care about being hurt is being helpless to fix them. God, that sucks.

So, long story short (Too late!) Pickpocket got dragged off in an Ambulance. She's fine, and will return to camp safe, sound, and with a cast on her arm tomorrow.

Soyeah. That's my life. Poke me if you need an explanation of any of the campy terms.

Love and such
~Kat

Adding to the ever-expanding list of reasons and ways I am somewhat less sane then I should be:

I am mentally incapable of social imperfection. I can't have people upset or angry or annoyed or anything through my actions, most importantly, I can't have them hurt. Because if I've hurt someone, that burns like a mofo.

More later, she lied. Like all promises of continuation, I doubt I'll ever come back to this entry and write more.

Sor

Original Tags: hurt, why i'm fucked up, nosce te ipsum, emo, self, me, hate, sorcy is fucked up, perfection, selfhate

Since reviewing the previous year is the cool thing to do.

So, from what my Elljay has to say:

January-- Made some New Years Resolutions. I can't remember most of these, but of them, I know I took care of at least one. *sigh*

Watched the first season of Black Books. Watched the Hitchhikers miniseries. Drew a family tree. Got ahold of a scanner. Was somewhat intelligent.

February-- Started my Concerta, went to Pirate Feast, Importance of Being Earnest

March-- Posted some egoboosts, lost my RHPS virginity, joined the ketchup revolution, celebrated "Everything Will Go Right Day", found...that. (*sighgulpapologies*), began to chill out with Tho

April-- Sam and Leona (spelling?)'s wedding, began to be more responsible, went to Port Discovery, met Ksatyr (Maybe in March. Same diff), began working on that nonexistent Sorc101 thing, began walking to Rivendell, got bit by Koob, went to Prom, went to my first TMBG concert, Heisman.

May-- Went to RHPS, rocked the Cappies, went to Germany, opened up, regretted it (ohgods, regretted it), recieved a flower from someone I care about, went to Balticon, remet Magus.

June-- Bought my first bodice, lost our second cat, volunteered a pirate reststop, joined the zombie game, wrote my "Players in my life" entry (linked in my userinfo), got summer break (woo!), continued to grow older.

Broke up with Blue.

Went to London

July-- Came back from London, attended daycamp, got a job, fell hopelessly in "love or like or lust or SOMETHING" with someone awesome (possibly in June, but shh), fell hopelessly in love with Dr. Who and/or David Tennant, went to Maine with Eric, Josh, and Mom, got introduced to Geetar Hero, saw Sweeny Todd, saw Avenue Q for the first time, watched The Stand, lost the game (*cues groans and swears...yes, I do suck*)

August-- went to NYC to be in a gang, mum's B-day party, hit some truly beautiful catharsis, learned that the eleven best words in the world are entierly variable, watched Clerks, Clerks2 and Mallrats, went to NYC for Jeffs wedding, watched Avenue Q again, saw Snakes on a Plane, TURNED 17!!, started my senior year, went to the first wedding of all my cousins.

September-- walked 18 miles in a day, started work, did some Dagohiring, fell in love with xkcd, found Narbonic, started watching Dr. Who, enjoyed TLaPD.

October-- finished work, took the SAT's, went to RHPS, ignored homecoming completely, became Jake Blues, and celebrated Halloween as best I could.

November-- Saw V for Vendetta, went to RHPS, visited a tattoo parlour, failed at NaNoWriMo, celebrated Turkey Day, played Spycraft, and reaffirmed my love for Macs. (Also, I very much exhibit the primary catch-22 of elljay: If you have things worth posting about, you're too busy to post them. If you have time to post, you have nothing to post about.)

Decenber-- The Night of January 16th, Shadowlands, went to The Addams Family as preformed by the mechanics, started drivers ed, finished drivers ed, sang the praises of the gods, became a Geetar Hero

Figured out my fundemental design flaw.

Got presents, celebrated exmass, hung out with Ksatyr a lot, cleaned my room, played with cool people, NEW YEARS PARTY! and got to see Magus again. Which I think I've mentioned something like three times in the last half dozen posts or something. Shutup, I *like* seeing my faraway friends. I'd be doing the same with Janny or Jarne or Kat.

...Whew.

~Sor
MOOP!

( Random quiz-question-thing...I'm bored, and flirting can only take up so much of my time )

Woo.

My life hasn't been very eventful lately. But hey, tomorrows a half day! And Friday's off, and me and Aly are going to (hopefully) harass Flinx!

I need to clean out my 1KBWC deck...

~Sor
MOOP!

So!

Life, the universe, and everything! What's six times nine! Fourty-two, and ALL THAT!

I'm not sure how this is working, but that's ok. Kat's in a relitivly good mood.

ANYWHO

Yesterday was Everything Will Go Right Day. And, oddly enough, everything went right. Well, alright, everything went right for an exceedingly high portion of the day, and then the very end may have started going wrong. But it might have been past midnight at that point anyways, so woo!

So, heres what went right!

School. I woke up at the usual time, and got to devour two of the very highly delicious spilt personality waffle things we had. mmmmmmm! That was a tasty breakfast. Then I walked to school, and it was fun, and school itself occured.

It was all fairly regular and happy, my presentation in English went off fine, and I got an "A" on the oral quiz in German. So yay and double yay! Whats more was, we weren't doing anything in Stagecraft, which was great as I *really* didn't feel like doing anything! Most excellent!!

I got home and hung out some, and Fish came over and we hung out some, and Bernie and Joe came over and we made plans to game today! Which is most certainly life going right. Ploos, I re-read the first sandman book, which is always a lovely thing. Morpheus is pretty.....

Eventually, assorted people left, and Chris showed up. We hung out some, and then I got to go BABYSIT! YAY FOR SITTING ON KOOB!!

Sorry, I like the little monkey. And I haven't gotten to deal with him enough recently. *pouts* but next week...oh yes.

Koob was a dream. He was full of happy hyper energy so we got to run around, and around eightish, we went outside and sat in the mini for half an hour. And Koob knows to grab for the seatbelt when he's in his carseat! How cute is that!!? When we went back in, he was much quieter and tireder and he crashed rather perfetly right about nine. Which is the PERFECT time for him to crash.

After Koob was asleep (and he slept well, none of this waking up or falling out of bed nonsense he does sometimes) I hopped on the ichat thing, and wound up having lovely conversations with my girlfriend, mek, Swing and Jarne, with Kyu, with Eric, and with Thorog of all people. So that was highly amusing, and on the whole a good thing.

Well, not for Al. She's been in her room the whole day throwing a tennis ball at the wall incessantly. She's pleased with herself, but she still doesn't know what she wants to do with herself, which leads to interesting questions.

And not for Hyde. Poor man, getting pulled from his playing. :p He gave me a rose to deliver this morning, a yellow one, so here. *gives to Reth*

Other stuff that went right? Well, lets see...I learned how to draw circular staircases! And I drew a decent picture of the lounge, with all of us scattered in it -it's cute. I'll have to scan it. Oh yes! And the Truth or Dare game that my denzians were playing ended QUITE satisfactorily. Gabe's been looking a bit like the cat who swallowed the canary, and Hyde's been slightly off center. Al refuses to give me her thoughts on it, like she does so often.

Heh, and I thought *I* closed myself off too much.

OH RIGHT! I got to hold a human SKULL yesterday! It was NEAT!!

...It's ednoria's. Because who else would own one, I mean come on. No one else is NEAR cool enough to be able to pull off owning a skull. From a PERSON!

So yesterday, pretty much everything went quite right. And that one little catch at the end, that discovery---

I don't know yet. I still need to think about it. I've put pen to paper, I still need to put paper to envelope. But I'm not sure I can, or will.

Yes, I'm scared.

It's because I'm opening up past the walls. Bah. My therepist says I need to figure out why I do that, figure out what advantage there is for me to push people away, even sub-conciously. Thoughts?


Funny at how things fluctuate.

~Sor
MOOP!

Original Tags: kyu, life, denizens: guardians, references, tho, babysitting, comics, momo, cryptic, hyde, games-rpg, drawing, secrets-and-silly-things, unfiled people-alsoreal, maccytu, art, games, school-lrhs, hitchhikers, blue canary, school, fish, jarne, denizens, jernie and boe, tagged, everything will go right day, swingsy

I lost my virginity last night!

( Wait...What? Oh emm gee fut the wuck BBQ, Kat? )

With shadowcaptain!!

( And a few other people... )

You SKANK! And because we're curious, we must know...was it good?

( Was it EVER! )

~Sor
MOOP!

So.

Remy and 'Riel are at least talking.
Gabe has made the choice he's been wrestling with for the last week.
Hyde is no longer going to harass Remy.
This means that Hyde is free to focus on Reth.
Crawford is making pretty explosions.

Ok, so all the assorted voices in my head, and in the people I care abouts heads are settled and fairly happy. Yes, Gabe and Al are still sour at each other, but I think Gabe at least is going to take another stab at this relationship idea.

So, if everyone that controls me is in such a god-damned happy mood, why does MY life suck?

You ever read something, and have it inadvertantly answer the question you've been wondering about for a couple months? And the answer is totally not what you wanted? And you really wished it was? Yeeeeeah. No clear way to react there.

And for those going, AHM'GAWDS Kat = Emo, shhh. Kat is not emo. Kat has no reason to be emo, she has an awesome girlfriend (who she hasn't dumped), several amazing friends, and fairly decent grades.

And no, I wouldn't like a hug. Ok, lies. But not from you.

~Sor
MOOP!

(((EDIT: Because everyone bitches about the fact that the don't have my e-mail addy, it's kdsorceress at gmail dot com. I'm not saying e-mail is a good idea, but the last time I got a post like this, I had several people bitch about it.

And PS, it's in my userinfo.)))

Quote of the day!:
Me: Girls confuse me too
Jarne: What's with the whole bleeding thing, you sick masochists!

Alternate:Here

~Sor
MOOP!

((Although, if this whole discussion on the removal of pants continues, I might have another for you.

Clearly my girlfriend shouldn't go off to watch Monk. I get bored and start talking to crazies and next thing you know, I'm apparently wearing Leonardo Da Vinci's pants...))