MOOP!

This is a RANTY RANTY RANTY post! Rant on!

SO INTERNET! Let's have us a little talk about relationships.

See, I have this friend, Turquoise¹, who considers themself to be monogamous. Recently, they have entered into a relationship with a polyamorous person (Green) who already had another partner (SIlver). Turquoise is monoamorous in relation to Green --T doesn't have any other partners, nor does T wish to find any. Turquoise is perfectly happy being romantically entangled ONLY with Green.

An ex-partner of theirs accused T, because of this relationship, of "Pretending to be monogamous."

This? This is not right in a big way.

The biggest problem is that T is still monogamous, and monoamorous. They are only dating Green. They are only romantically entangled with Green. They hold sexual fidelity towards Green². Turquoise is entirely monogamous, and implying that they were "pretending" to be such implies that they no longer ARE. Patently false.

Now, is T in a polyamorous relationship? I'd say kindof --I wouldn't call T's relationship poly, but I would call Green's relationship thus. I would call the relationship as a whole a mono-poly relationship, because oh hey, those exist and flourish, no matter how hard you pretend they don't or can't.

Because sometimes a monoamorous person falls in love with a polyamorous person, and they are willing to put in the work to keep the relationship strong, and not limit either partner or illegitimate their sexuality. They are hard, and require a lot of communication, and people who can be open and honest about their wants and needs, and otherwise are in relatively good standing with themselves³. But they happen, and they can be just as happy and healthy as any other relationship.

The second problem is the fact that, oh gasp, sexuality is fluid.

Seriously. Please let your mind wrap around that a little. Sexuality is fluid, and the types or number of people you were attracted to at one point in your life may not be the same as the types or number of people you are attracted to at another point.

Now, before you release your fury, keep in mind that sexuality doesn't *HAVE* to change, and for many people it doesn't at all. Sometimes it doesn't change so much as encounter new information --a previously monoamorous person being introduced to the concept of poly and realizing that it fits their brain better than the strictly mono structures they'd grown up with. And sometimes it absolutely radically shifts, as someone grows older and changes what they want and desire.

And none of that means the person was "pretending" earlier in life.

As an aside, I would just like to remind the audience that "relationship structure" is not necessarily equal to "personal sexuality". I know several mono folk who are in mono-poly, or full poly relationships. I know a few poly-folk who are currently, or have been in the past, in strictly mono relationships⁴. People make relationships work for them, as they need to.

And really, I think that's what all this boils down to: Does your relationship structure work for you. If you are happy, and your partner(s) are happy, (and ideally, *their* partner(s) are happy) then that's about the best you can hope for. "All relevant parties" does not include your friends, your parents, your exes, or anyone on the internet who thinks you're a dirty perv. If your relationship works for you, then don't let _anyone_ tell you you're doing it wrong.

As a final (unrelated) aside, I have a friend who has no interest in being in relationships at all. I hesitently suggested "asexual", but we both agreed that's not the word being looked for, as that's a totally different set of things (And indeed, many asexual people can form happy relationships, with each other or with sexual people (or both!)). He proposed "anamorous", which I think is a lovely term --and one I fully intend to use.

Rant off.

~Sor
MOOP!

1: I have friends named Red and Blue. Writing this post got a little difficult as I navigated around that to choose arbitrary names.

2: Which is to say, the only sexual contact Turquoise has had outside of Green was with Silver, and this was part of the three of them being together with everyone communicating and having full knowledge of what was going on. There is no love between T and S, and no relationship --this wouldn't have happened were they not both dating Green.

3: Oh hey, did I just describe every relationship ever! I think I did!

4: Myself included --I was well aware I was polyamorous before I started dating kSatyr, but it was an agreement from the beginning that I would be strictly monoamorous while dating him. Now, this was an unhealthy situation for me personally to be in, but that's certainly not true of all poly-folk-in-mono-relationships, and more importantly, just because I am poly doesn't mean I *had* to be in a relationship thus.

PostScript: Oh and THIRDLY, because I forgot to mention it, it is not your right to declare other people's sexuality. Ever! You cannot say "they are not doing [sexuality] the way I think you should do [sexuality] and therefore I will accuse them of pretending", because you don't know what they're thinking, you don't know how they're reacting, and you have no way of knowing what they consider themself short of asking. So, unless you are a member of the relationship police (hint: That doesn't exist.) you do not get the right to decide if someone else is doing an adequete enough job of representing the sexualities they claim to represent.

( Cut for emo and swearing. )

BehindTheWalls

PostScript: I also really really hate whatever livejournal did so you automatically get a space after the comma when writing tags (ie, you hit comma and it shows up as ", " instead of just ","

See, I'm smart enough to hit space after hitting a comma. Please fix it so I don't keep frigging doublespacing after every goddamn tag. Thanks.

Uhm. Yeah. Happy belated mothers day to fishgreenlittle, who I haven't been talking to long enough to remember she's a mommy!

Anywho. Senioritis has hit me pretty badly, but most of my classes don't actually have any work to do anyways. We're reading a story in German class that is progressing at about a snails pace --mainly because a lot of the kids in my german class are morons.

I've got a whole bunch of shtuff to do. I'm thinking of starting up with a set of 43 folders, mostly because it's a cool idea. 43 folders is basically a set up for getting stuff done, you get 12 hanging folders (one for each month) and put 31 manilla folders (one for each day) in the first one. Then, as each day goes by, you put the manilla folder into the next months folder. Toss stuff that needs to get done on that day into that days folder, as well as other shtuff --if you have tickets to a play on the 21st, you dump them in that days folder ferinstance.

It's also slightly boggling to realize that my little orange indexcard book, which I love above all others (well, a lot of other notebooks at least) is essentially just an extrememly high class HPDA. I should post piccies.

Uhm. Yeah. If you're Tho, you probably went all bouncy-squee at those last two paragraphs. If you're anyone else, you probably just ignored it. That's about the right thing to do.

Otherstuff...Oh! I gave blood on Saturday, and unlike my last bloodgiving expiriment, where I fainted a lot at the end and took forever to recover, this one went by really fabulously. I pretty much just skipped the entire "gonna be fainting now oh hi floor" part and went straight into "Yay, the world is awesome WHEEE!" part. So that was pretty good.

And of course, I got green tape, because that is the awesomest colour. Yay me!

Mum's back from her cruising around the south pacific. I'm sure better accounts of that will show up in her journal shortly.

Only nine days left in school, and two of them don't even have any class. I'm somewhat psyched about this.

I am decidedly un-psyched about graduation though, mostly because of the stupid ass-requierments they have for walking across the stage as a girl.

I have to wear a skirt.
I can't wear sneakers.
I have to wear white or other light pastel colour.

I
Am
going
To
STAB
Something.

Ew. Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. This is especially a problem as I don't own a white skirt or dress (And REALLY don't intend to) and I don't own white shoes, nor do I ESPECIALLY intend not to wear white shoes that aren't sneakers.

(I also apparently have to wear hose, but I dismissed that without even thinking, since I will skip walking the stage entierly before I put on hose. Or shave my legs. If they don't like it, they can suck my big fat nonexistent dick. It costs a WHOLE lot more then a diploma to make me wear pantyhose.)

Soyeah. I'm thinking I'm going to be hitting up the local thrift store a bunch, nevermind that I'm broke out of my mind (I owe mom HOW much?), looking desperately for something I can wear. I may also see if the tears matched with "I'm broke!" works on our sponsers for getting me out of the shoe problem.

(And may I note that my mother does not own any of this shit either, and it's rediculous to try and find something that I'll just hand down to Aly since she's half a foot taller then me.)

Again, I'm pissed. If I didn't care about walking across stage, this wouldn't be a problem. But I really do. So I have to find this white nonsense.

And a very large part of me wants to wear the shitty white, then pull off my robe and roll in the grass the second I'm free. Mmmmm,green. Green is a nice colour.

Yeah, bell's gonna ring soon, so I better go. I'll rant more later.

~Sorcy
MOOP!

PS: If you desperately want a proper graduation announcement from me, and suspect you are not on my list, drop a comment to that extent.

I spent FAR too long typing this up, and I'm going to regret this in the morning.

Wow, and for once, I haven't even set foot in the bar.

Hey wait a minute...theres no bar tonight! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Right, back to this.

( A far too long rant about relationships and whatnot. Inspiered by my yellow notebook rants from ninth grade, if anyone remembers those. )

*thump!*

~Sor
MOOP!

I would just like to point out that women are not objects and I take great personal offence if you apply thus. And why yes, this is directed at a certain person.

Your Faithful Storyteller

MOOP!

Is it just me or have I not posted anything even remotely worth reading for a looooong time. Since at LEAST CinderAlbert I would think...Part of this is due to the fact that I haven't been online that much anymore, but I think I fell into a rut, I haven't done any creating or writing or ANYTHING at all recently!

LIES! *coffTGAoEaTcoff*

Oh yeah. Ok, I haven't done anything creative recently BESIDES top-secret TGAoEaT notes. And lots of them!

MORE LIES! Do I have to point out EVERYTHING you've done recently.

You're making it very hard for me to wallow in pity here... Yeah, I've done creative stuff, but nothing really good, and NOTHING that can be posted. *annoyed sigh*

In (slightly) related news, for the first year in about...6 years? Actually, make that ever, In the first year, EVER I have an English teacher that i do Not Like. She has NOTHING that I need to learn from her about MY writing, she doesn't read fantasy so she OBVIOUSLY can't teach it, and SHE'S the one who's supposed to be teaching us about the Romance archetype of writing (High Fantasy)!!! She thinks A Tale of Two Cities qualifies!! Eff no! I want to learn fantasy from someone who appriciates it dammit!

Like Ms Sharp. I did NOT recognize a good thing when I had her. Actually, yes I did, but I didn't appriciate her nearly enough. Now I do and I visit her a lot, the only problem is I only get to see her in the mornings when she's busy (sigh) but I still get to see her and wish desperately that I was in her class again and reading something GOOD like Fahrenheit 451 or Lord of the Flies or Night (All of which were well written even though I didn't like the latter two much) instead of reading something crappy like A Tale of Two Cities or, significantly worse, Antigone which we have to read AGAIN (Only 7th grade book that sucked and the only book I've read in a LONG time for school that I didn't bother to finish.) My feelings on Antigone can be summed up like this: Coffchokeblekvomitdie.

Yeah. English sucks a lot and is not productive.

Name of the Week: Ori

MOOP!

(((P.S: Antigone prolly doesn't suck QUITE as much as I remember, and it could have been that I was too young for it (granted it was 7th grade GT) and just didn't get it.)))

UGH!! You hit a pet peeve of mine, children, and how they're raised today. Besides the paranoia parents hammer into the kids, and the "you must always be perfectly clean" ideal, (which I'm sorry, but unless you don't want your child to be locked in the house with nothing staining 24/7, isn't happening.) theres the idea that kids have to do everything! When do we ever get a chance to just be a kid?? Playing instruments, sports, theatre, chores, singing, etc, etc, etc! Kids have so many extra-curriculers these days that they hardly have any time for themselves!! Especially sports, there are so many practices that you just HAVE to be there for, and if you're not, they can kick you off! What the hell is up with that?!?!

Even worst then how some parents raise children is parents who don't though! People who don't really care enough about their children to keep them seeing movies that are bad for them, or give them a set allowence or curfew, or punish them! Those people are FREAKING ASSHOLES!! If you want you're kids to grow up cool (like me) then for God's sakes, take care of them! Teach them, punish them, DISIPLINE them!!

Kids today get NO disipline! You can't spank them, you can't do anything that may seem like you're "neglecting" them, you can hardly punish them, and then you complain about how they have no respect for authority! Of COURSE they don't, theres nothing authority can do to them!

God, I hate people...

~Sorceress

MOOP!

Original Tags: thoughtstream, children, jannyblue

All I would like to say is thank you very much Sluggy.net for giving me a place where I can actually talk to males without them being assholes all the time. Thanks also to my male friends who AREN'T assholes all the time.

~Sorceress/Kat

MOOP!

Original Tags: sluggy.net, frustration, rants, gender, qlife

DON'T give me pity, DON'T give me sympathy, DON'T give me any of that crap.

I quite litterally cried until I felt sick today. I REFUSE to deal with this goddamm life, and I am MORE then willing right now to snap at anyone who pisses me off in even the slightest.

And no, I would not like to talk about it, I already did, with someone who I CAN talk to, unlike so many of you, he knows who he is and I both thank him and reward him with a magic cookie. He should have five by now, if he doesn't, then I shall have to remeday that situation.

Like I said. I don't want to talk about it. Lets just say that I am sick and tierd of people being stupid and pushing my buttons.

And yes, I am human. I DO get mad at times. This is one of them.

So, everyone, consider this your first and final warning. Don't screw around with me. Rohan already fails.

~Sorceress/Kat

MOOP!

Original Tags rants, tagged, emo, cryptic, tears, cloneconvo, emoemoemo, selfhate

Recently, during school, I've been writing short little philisophical pieces. (And when I say during school, I don't mean during class, I mean when I'm done with my work and during Lunch) Some of them have turned out fairly well, so I guess I'll share them with you lot.

( Unsexiness )

I think I shall call the little rants writtin in school the yellow notebook rants, since they are writtin in my precious yellow notebook. Hahaha, am I not so witty?

~Sorceress/Kat

Original Tags: sexuality, selfchat, thoughtstream