(no subject)

[sorcyress]

So!

Life, the universe, and everything! What's six times nine! Fourty-two, and ALL THAT!

I'm not sure how this is working, but that's ok. Kat's in a relitivly good mood.

ANYWHO

Yesterday was Everything Will Go Right Day. And, oddly enough, everything went right. Well, alright, everything went right for an exceedingly high portion of the day, and then the very end may have started going wrong. But it might have been past midnight at that point anyways, so woo!

So, heres what went right!

School. I woke up at the usual time, and got to devour two of the very highly delicious spilt personality waffle things we had. mmmmmmm! That was a tasty breakfast. Then I walked to school, and it was fun, and school itself occured.

It was all fairly regular and happy, my presentation in English went off fine, and I got an "A" on the oral quiz in German. So yay and double yay! Whats more was, we weren't doing anything in Stagecraft, which was great as I *really* didn't feel like doing anything! Most excellent!!

I got home and hung out some, and Fish came over and we hung out some, and Bernie and Joe came over and we made plans to game today! Which is most certainly life going right. Ploos, I re-read the first sandman book, which is always a lovely thing. Morpheus is pretty.....

Eventually, assorted people left, and Chris showed up. We hung out some, and then I got to go BABYSIT! YAY FOR SITTING ON KOOB!!

Sorry, I like the little monkey. And I haven't gotten to deal with him enough recently. *pouts* but next week...oh yes.

Koob was a dream. He was full of happy hyper energy so we got to run around, and around eightish, we went outside and sat in the mini for half an hour. And Koob knows to grab for the seatbelt when he's in his carseat! How cute is that!!? When we went back in, he was much quieter and tireder and he crashed rather perfetly right about nine. Which is the PERFECT time for him to crash.

After Koob was asleep (and he slept well, none of this waking up or falling out of bed nonsense he does sometimes) I hopped on the ichat thing, and wound up having lovely conversations with my girlfriend, mek, Swing and Jarne, with Kyu, with Eric, and with Thorog of all people. So that was highly amusing, and on the whole a good thing.

Well, not for Al. She's been in her room the whole day throwing a tennis ball at the wall incessantly. She's pleased with herself, but she still doesn't know what she wants to do with herself, which leads to interesting questions.

And not for Hyde. Poor man, getting pulled from his playing. :p He gave me a rose to deliver this morning, a yellow one, so here. *gives to Reth*

Other stuff that went right? Well, lets see...I learned how to draw circular staircases! And I drew a decent picture of the lounge, with all of us scattered in it -it's cute. I'll have to scan it. Oh yes! And the Truth or Dare game that my denzians were playing ended QUITE satisfactorily. Gabe's been looking a bit like the cat who swallowed the canary, and Hyde's been slightly off center. Al refuses to give me her thoughts on it, like she does so often.

Heh, and I thought *I* closed myself off too much.

OH RIGHT! I got to hold a human SKULL yesterday! It was NEAT!!

...It's ednoria's. Because who else would own one, I mean come on. No one else is NEAR cool enough to be able to pull off owning a skull. From a PERSON!

So yesterday, pretty much everything went quite right. And that one little catch at the end, that discovery---

I don't know yet. I still need to think about it. I've put pen to paper, I still need to put paper to envelope. But I'm not sure I can, or will.

Yes, I'm scared.

It's because I'm opening up past the walls. Bah. My therepist says I need to figure out why I do that, figure out what advantage there is for me to push people away, even sub-conciously. Thoughts?


Funny at how things fluctuate.

~Sor
MOOP!

Original Tags: kyu, life, denizens: guardians, references, tho, babysitting, comics, momo, cryptic, hyde, games-rpg, drawing, secrets-and-silly-things, unfiled people-alsoreal, maccytu, art, games, school-lrhs, hitchhikers, blue canary, school, fish, jarne, denizens, jernie and boe, tagged, everything will go right day, swingsy

Comments

[shuttergal.livejournal.com]

Hay, our bear skull is pretty cool!

[swingerzetta.livejournal.com]

So, thoughts. man, I've spent the last three months learning ALL ABOUT WALLS, I have so many thoughts I don't even realize what thoughts are.

My first thought is that what would have the most value to you would be to figure out why those walls are there for yourself. It's like being told the end of a story.

My second thought is that while I have training in that field, you do not, and therefore it would be very difficult for you.


So, I'm going to tell you, but request that you only look at my suggestions if you really are stuck and don't think you'll get it on your own.





----------




So, there are several reasons why people do destructive things. The first is to look good to others. The second is to be RIGHT about something. Then, making someone else be WRONG about something, dominating someone (as in, having control over them, not the kinky kind, as I am often reminded) Avoiding being dominated, um... what were the others... there were like two more that never come up for me so I forgot them.

but anyway. According to Landmark, and, at this point your therapist starts to curse my name and my existance and the whore that bore me, because I'm totally stealing his/her thunder, the next step would be to look at how those walls have affected you, and then actually feel the emotions attached to it (rather then thinking about it intelectually). In the industry we call this Getting Present to the Impact.
(I love saying 'in the industry we call this...' especially when the name in question is 'joke'. it is not Joke in this case)

I hope this helps and doesn't cancel out the therapy like Landmark sometimes warns that it can. Good luck, and, I'm often here if you need anything of this nature! I consider myself to be becomming good at it!

[thorog.livejournal.com]

If you could describe your problem as "low self-esteem coupled with an inability to approach people", then I know what you're talking about. It sucks. I think it's something a lot of geeks have to deal with. I'm making an effort to overcome it by keeping in contact with friends I made last year but don't see regularly this year. So far it appears to be working.

I won't post fifteen paragraphs here, because Swing's already done some of that, and he can use big words. Instead I'll just IM you randomly when you're on to encourage you to open up.

[astaereth.livejournal.com]

R - *smells the rose* Wow! This totally makes up for it! *swoons*

You're a sensitive person. Case in point, what happened with that thing you told me about last night. I'm not like that, but I know plenty of people who are, and if you don't accept that some things are beyond your control it leads to much emotional pain. So instead of avoiding that pain the proper way, you cut it off at what your brain sees as the source: interactions with other people.
As well, your brain thinks that what you feel about others is reciprocated (I do that all the time). So you act towards them the way you wish they would act towards you--which is to close yourself off.

Your walls are intended to protect you from having to deal with other people's issues with themselves and with you, and to prevent other people from trying to deal with your issues (because you think they don't want to).

Not only is that logic flawed, but your walls protect too much too often and to the wrong people. Friends and family should be able to get in the gate, so to speak.

That's my shoot-from-the-hip psychology. Now I'm going to go revive Reth, I think he's fainted...

[astaereth.livejournal.com]

"Hello darkness, my old friend... I've come to talk with you again..."

:D