sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
So there was a post on Tumblr, "Things you will see on a road trip across America"0. It spoke to me, far more than the Regional Gothic trend did, and I was quick to respond with my own listing. You may read my additions under the cut )




Of course, then I started writing more about it all. Have some blather about road trips. It's not under a cut, because I do not love you enough.

According to my quick count, I have visited (or at least driven through) 36 states. Let's look at some highlights...

-From very young to age 11, the family drove to Peoria IL every year to visit Great-Grandma Deemy. She died in 2000, which was the year of...

-The Big Trip! Mom, her best friend Neva, and me and the sibs spent 2-3 straight weeks on the road. We drove from Maryland to Colorado, took a turn north up through both Dakotas, cut east back to Minnesota, just missed Michigan, and swooped back to MD. It was an absolute fucking delight. Kansas is terrible, we somehow skipped Nebraska entirely, and mom spit-swore she'd take me to the Mall of America to ride the roller coasters before I turned eighteen. This is why I don't trust my mother. ;)1

-From very young until college, we drove to Winsted CT for Thanksgiving, and also usually for a visit in the summer. Dad's parents (St G'ma, G'pa Gus) live up there, on a wonderful horse farm with rock-walls to climb on and a pond and art and books strewn everywhere. I haven't been to the farm in several years --Thanksgiving started moving around my sophomore year of college-- and I miss it terribly. I should organize a visit some weekend!

-Starting in about, oh, 2002 or 3, us kids (Shan, then Al, then me) attended Stayaway Camp in Maine. Have you seen the Parent Trap? That is the camp we stayed at. No literally, they wanted to film at Wyo, but they were told to piss off, there was a camp to run. Anyways, there would be 2-3 trips up a summer (dropping off, changeover day, picking up) with some subset of siblings and parents, and staying the night in either Winsted or Boston.

-For two of those years, when the sibs were at camp and I was not, me and the rents drove down to South Carolina for a conference at Myrtle Beach. This is relevant because it means I've visited both South of the Border and Wall Drug.

(The second year, when it was just me and them, mom started to have some really funky vision problems and dad had to do all the driving home. Turns out she had MS. Anyways, that was 2002, which means Shan started camp in 2001, which works out since I did 2003 and 2004. Good talk.)

-Moving on to adulthood, I went to college in Boston (well, Cambridge). The family did many runs to pick me up or drop me off with my stuff, several of which did not involve my mother (see also, Dragon*Con.)

-Didn't roadtrip much in college, but right after I graduated, I got to do 14 straight hours in a car with one other driver (mom --although Shan did drive a couple hours), two siblings, and two cats. We moved to Chicago! Cats do not like it when the car goes 80 mph. They are fine when it is up to 85. No officer, I had to speed, I was doing science!

(Two days later, I did half that again, doubling back to Hiram, Ohio with Alys in tow. Dad was out of town, mom had to wait for the movers, I was her Official Adult for her college orientation. This was a profoundly uncomfortable experience for us both, I suspect, plus we had a serious argument about whether World/Inferno Friendship Society was a hipster band in the first thirty minutes of driving and were both super tense and stressed for like an hour. That bit I mentioned about the Lion's Den? I think it was figuring that out which calmed us the fuck down and brought us back to giggling like loons.)

-Sparr and I have made the Boston-Atlanta(ish) drive a few times. One of these times, I drove 17 of 20 hours (I did not make that up above for humour value). One of those times, our rental car was totaled and we had to frantically scramble to get home. The last time went quite without problem, except for the entertaining logistics of picking people up or dropping them off in at least five different locations.

-In early fall 2012, I was unemployed. My favourite ex-partner decided to move to Seattle. Their rich friend offered a plane ticket home. Mel and I packed up a uhaul (technically a Penske), drove to Cleveland (where we spent a day with their mother and raided a storage unit), drove to Chicago (where we spent about an hour and a half with my mother before she left for some vacation and we hung out in the house and watched movies --maybe George of the Jungle?), and drove and drove and drove and drove to Seattle. The Milky Way is every bit as stunning as I implied, Buttes will never not be hilarious, and having a governor keeping you from going over 75mph when you're on a 70mph speed limit road going DOWN THE ROCKIES is the shittiest thing.

I think that's the most of 'em. There's some small ones with strangers (from Indy to Chicago a couple times after GenCon, and I'm about to do Boston to Syracuseish) but most of the long trips have been with friends or family. States I have been to without driving there: Florida, Texas, California, and Arizona. And I suppose technically Tennesee in that I *have* driven to Georgia before, but the trip we went to TN, I flew to GA and then we drove up there. Dunno if that counts or not.

I hold no respect for America the Corporate Identity but I do fucking love America the road-trip liminal space of folklore and legend. Given a world without capitalism and a Tesla Roadster2, I wouldn't even bother with a house in exchange for a rotating selection of friends riding shotgun as we roam around this world.

~Sor
MOOP!

0: Although I appreciate the thing someone pointed out, which is that they mean "USA", not America.

1: In case the smiley is not obvious, my mother is THE BEST MOTHER and I trust her very much and have forgiven her, but it's fun to tease.

2: I am adding this footnote seven years later to acknowledge that this reference did *not* age well.
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Heyo! It's about that time again, have some resolution updates:

750words:
85 days. That is beginning to turn into real numbers. I am beginning to actually worry about what variety of stupid I'm gonna do involving Pinewoods. Like, there is a little internet booth at Pinewoods I could upload from, if I wrote the words earlier or later. That would totally work. That would totally not be an incredibly stupid plan. I have lots of free time at Pinewoods to write!

Music:
Sparr bought me the two s00j albums I'd been eyeing, and so now I have four/five1 of them, and yay. Sometimes I listen to other music too! I can probably stop updating this one, I think it's done.

Biking:
BIKING.
I have a bike again. I have a bike that runs again. It is amazing. Tyrian is the best. Also I got something like three flats in six days, I am not even kidding and that was super bullshit. But I think she's better now.

Candidate Class:
My exams were on Saturday. People keep asking me how I think I did, and I just...I really don't have an idea. I can't let myself have an idea, because I'm already more anxious about these than I've been about anything in the last ten years and thinking in depth about whether I missed important things will make me _actively crazy_. I should know my results in six to eight weeks, or possibly as soon as the end of this week.

There are a lot of combinations marked "failure" in my mind, and only two marked "success"2.

Pinewoods:
I am accepted to ESC, Scottish 1, and Scottish 2. I may be running a bug-themed party at ESCape, and I am super excited about that. It'll be really good!

Highland:
Seann Triubhas is only slightly easier to dance than it is to spell. >:|

Being awesome/mental health:
I have been an anxietyball the last week/month. It's very exciting. I am so sorry to anyone who has to deal with me, since anxietyKat seems identical to regularKat except I no longer smile as easily and the words that fall out of my mouth have a tendency to border on the _very_ dark.

But you know, I'm fine. Nothing going on is even a little bit worth killing myself over, and if it's not that bad, it ain't nothing in the long run.

Ambidancetrous:
I have made posts! I have made posts about the exam and posts about dances we wrote! I am hopefully going to make more posts, maybe about writing a grand march!

Making money:
I am the Bananager, I belong to the Bananamines, and also I'm pretty perpetually broke so if you have stuff I can do in the afternoons or evenings in exchange for your dollarbucks, I'm kinda intrigued.

Social:
Well, NEFFA didn't suck. Other than that, it's a real good thing I adore my fellow candidates, because I have seen NO ONE ELSE.

Dentist:
So, my dentist was all like "you need a crown" and I was all like "I KNOW, RIGHT!?"
So now I have a temporary crown and the real one will appear sometime in early June, probably.

***

No progress:
Dante editing
Paper sorting --I have, in fact, made negative progress by taking things out of my filing cabinet
Room
Grad School
Pushups
Dancing --I mean, I've been doing a ton, just not outside of Greater Camberville and also Stow yet.
Stiltsing --I was not allowed to make stilts before taking my exams.
ADHD management --no, and my executive functioning has been completely shot
Morrowind
Social Justice
Inbox 0
Activity vs Passivity online
Tracking media

Whee!

~Sor
MOOP!

1: Susan dG sent me Sirens, I just bought Stolen Season when it came out, and Sparr sent me Tangles and Haphazard as CDs. So I have four. HOWEVER, at Balticon 2012, s00j sold out of Mischief and I managed to unfold my tongue long enough to be all "can I just hand you money right now and then get my friend to email me a zip file is that okay?" and she was like "sure, sounds great and very convenient!" So I have Mischief, legally, as a digital copy. (I will probably buy a physical copy when I get a chance both because I'm a completist and because it's actually my favourite, apparently)

2: Success 1: All five candidates pass their unit 2 and their unit 3. Success 2: All five candidates except me pass their unit 2 and their unit 3. Failure: Any other candidate fails either of their tests, because damnit, this is so important to all of us and yet I'm really the one for whom it matters least, Cambridge _has_ teachers.
sorcyress: A character from a comic about the maintenance workers of the universe, holding a thumbs up and saying "MOOP!" (Zonker-MOOP!)
Green Arrow!
(I told him I was taking the photo for my mom, and he replied with "Tell her Happy Mother's Day!" When I did, mom replied with this text: "BEST Mother's Day greeting EVAHR!!!". I think I am the best child this year, even if I am a week early.)

Last year on Free Comic Book Day, I was in California. There's nothing wrong with this in and of itself, but it did mean I couldn't go to ALL THE COMIC SHOPS. This year I was happily home in Somerville, and I traveled only about five miles round trip which meant I got to hit up four separate comic shops (and I forgot about Newbury Comics completely, though I heard they were out by the time I was adventuring).

Furthermore, this was the first year I've ever been even remotely employed for Free Comic Book Day. I wisely set myself a spending limit of NO MORE than ten dollars per store, packed a sandwich and a folder to put comics in and my bike stuff, and went on my merry way.

It proved to be a very satisfying haul indeed. Photos, more words, and lots of links under cut. )

After I was done terrorizing the local comic book shops, I headed over to Artisan's Asylum, to sample a small taste of Somerville Open Studios. I spent some time chatting with Sparr, and lots of time wandering around and looking at beautiful art that I could never in a million years afford (and okay, some really gorgeous stuff that maybe someday I can afford too).

Rambling and links! )

Anyways, it was an awesome day, and tomorrow I will likely engage in Skype-cleaning adventures with [personal profile] tricia868 hopefully interspersed with further Open Studios Adventures.

It's looking to be a pretty great weekend.

~Sor
MOOP!

Original Tags: comics, swag, photos
sorcyress: Just a picture of my eye (Me-Eye)
Trigger warning: Emotional abuse, possibly touching on sexual abuse.

So, I was once in an emotionally abusive relationship, and it sucked.

One of the things that would happen was that I would upset them, and to make up for it, I would post loving things publicly on the internet. I would declare my love, to them or the world! Because it would make them feel better, it would make them understand that I really did love them, and I didn't mean to hurt them, and I'm very very sorry and I won't fuck up again, and please stop crying, and why am I so awful?

Seriously. If you're in an abusive relationship, do what you can to get the fuck out. I will help.

Now, the emotionally abusive part of the relationship lasted much longer than the relationship did, and so there was this one time when they decided to blackmail me. Either I would friends lock my entire livejournal and remove them from my friendslist (Note: They had already removed *me* from their friendslist --if they wanted to read my journal, they had to _go to the page themselves._ Apparently they weren't capable of not going to my page.) so they wouldn't see any posts about my new relationships, OR, they would tell mom that they and I had been doing some version of fucking.

I did the logical thing, and told mom that they and I had been doing some version of fucking. And that I was telling her specifically so I couldn't be blackmailed with it. I was very angry. Mom was far more understanding than I deserve sometimes.

I already hadn't really been talking about my relationships in my livejournal, because that seemed to be the sort of thing that would cause more drama. But this cemented it --despite not wanting them to control me, I even less wanted them to know that I was dating both the people they had accused me of cheating1 on them with. We were trying to be friends, you understand. I didn't want to hurt them any farther, after already damaging them so much. I am an awful person, you see. Cruel. Incapable of true love. A prude, and because of this, no one would ever want to date me.

1: I believe the closest I have ever come to cheating was when I said something offhand to one of my boys about another, and the first boy expressed confusion/shock in that he hadn't realized me and the latter were as intimate/involved as we were. I then explained the nature of the relationship, and it was all good. Also, that was not with the abusive ex.)

And so it was well over a year before I ever admitted in even the most casual sense that I had a new partner. And I never really put out a lot of squee, and in the time since, I've still not really put out a lot of squee about my partners. Lots of that is just from being older and more mature and not needing to be "OMGEE!" all the time like a giddy high schooler, but some of it is the lessons I have learned. You don't write about the people you are in love with --not just that. You don't do it because it will hurt other people2. You don't do it because it will hurt yourself, later, when you find the references. You don't do it because there is the memory of discomfort, of being forced, and you do not want anything to cross your brain that feels so slimy-wrong.

2: And admittedly, this is still a thing I worry about --if I post squee about one of my partners, must I then post squee about all the others? No. No, that is not how I want my relationships to be. If my loves cannot accept that I still love them, even when I am head-over-heels squeeing over a different love, then that is a problem, and something they and I should work on. So know the rest of you, that I mean no offense with this post, and that I still find you worth adoring.

But there's two ways to keep my brain from feeling slimy-wrong. One of them is to never ever be triggered again, by anything, and that's impossible. The other is to scar over the mental wounds. Wrap them in better memories, in better recollections. When I am triggered, I want to remember not what that one awful person did to me, but what all the lovely people who make me feel safe and special have done since.

So have something I do not do very often: A public, explicit(for I speak often in crypticism and generalities) declaration of love.

Sparr has moved to Boston. To be with me. And it will be weird and strange, and take work and practise and balancing. We will have to find what the right distance is to hold our introvert selves sane, while still being able to be together in a way that I've never had, not really.

I can't stop smiling.

I am in love. And he is in love, and we are in love. And while I've never believed in forever, not even at my youngest and most romantic, this is really good, and has only gotten better in the two years we've been together.

Everything is changing. I love you, Sparr mein leibling, and I look forward to what happens next.

I am no longer in abusive relationships. Things seem better this way.

~Sor
MOOP!

Bi-directional trigger warnings are in this season: Emotional abuse, possibly touching on sexual abuse.
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
So, here's what my life has been the last n weeks.

*I graduated. This was apparently a big deal or something.

*I took, and as of two days ago, passed my MTELs. Now I can get my teacher's license and get a job or something.

*I am currently in Atlanta. Two days of rest and relaxation with Sparr and the various folks around his living space, and then he and I go up to Columbus, OH on Wednesday for Origins.

*I helped my family move from Columbia MD to Park Ridge (just north of Chicago) IL. This involved driving for about six hours on Tuesday (mom drove the other half.)

*I drove my little sister to and from her college orientation at Hiram college. This involved driving for about six hours on Thursday and Saturday. No mom to help. On the plus side, I own a lot of music, and some of it she likes.

*I spent last weekend in Layfayette Georgia in order to go to my very first burn. Burns are hippie festivals; Burning Man is the best-known example. It was really quite fun, and I enjoyed running around the woods surrounded by hippies, and watching various people perform various arts, and learning things, and posing for photographs and jumping on the trampoline and etc. Also, there was fire, and it was fantastic. Alsoalso, I got to see in passing Amber, who is bright and sunny and really likes me and seems to want me to move to Atlanta almost as badly as Sparr does. She makes me smile a lot.

*I might make a real post about that one.

*Oh, also I went to Balticon a couple weeks ago. I slept in a car, and hung out with old friends and new friends, and again played less werewolf than usual, and broke my JungleSpeed totem (okay, technically Braffy broke it...) and wound up giving kisses to a gorgeous woman with fantastic pink hair, and flirted with the pervy artist, and in general it was all quite good. And like last year, it was a completely significant-other-free con. Which is a little strange, but mostly very freeing --the first time I went to Balticon, I went without my partner, and I kinda really like not being responsible for anyone else's happiness at the con. Not that I don't love being with my partners at cons, you understand --I do love it, very much-- but once a year...I'll gladly take the vacation from feeling responsible for other people's happiness. Because I am responsible, some, no matter how hard I try not to be. At least for my boys.

*Alys graduated high school. Go her!

*This is the first 750words entry I've made in twelve days, and the third this month. Please whine at me to do this. I won't be able to during Origins, but I should at least get my act together the week after, and once I'm back in Boston.

*Looking to get back in Boston somewhere around the fourth. Hoping to spend a night in NYC with...someone. Need to talk to relevant someones and see who has a couch and wants me to sleep on it. (I mean, I also have friends in the city who have couches that I can sleep on, but if I have people who actively want me as houseguest, I'll strive for that first.)

*Week after Origins is Girl Scout Day Camp. This might be my last year, but if you volunteer as an adult for five years, you get a pretty volunteer pin. And next year would be year five. So yeah, MD peeps, I might be looking for crash-space a random week in July or June 2012.

*I dodged the sunburn from camping in the middle of fuckyou Georgia all weekend (I hate the weather here, does it show), but the trade off is that I think I might have some poison ivy on my arm, and I certainly have bugbites everywhere. Still, that doesn't cause cancer, so I'm okay with this. I did my best to keep Sparr and Sarena sunscreened (two of my three campmates --Joe is a redhead and so did a very good job of keeping his pasty self covered) too, and I think it mostly worked.

*Made foodstuff with Sparr earlier --potatos and eggs such to put into breakfast burritos. Was good! Also, I made the mistake of asking Bethany how many people I should cook for (since she is the normal cook hereabouts) and she answered "sixteen".

I did not cook for sixteen people, because Christ, how would I?

That's all for now.

~Sor
MOOP!

(Okay, so, for a very long time now, I've known that MOOP is a burner term meaning Matter Out Of Place --probably learned it less than two years after I coined the term as my own personal word. Holy shit though, people actually use it, like all the time. It's how the burner community refers to trash, or to the action of leaving trash "Yeah, I was MOOPing all over the place last night, I should clean up" or "Jeeze, who left all this MOOP at our campsite."

The weekend was _so weird_ for that alone.)
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Cryptic:

Yes, of course the logical thing to do when I tell you I am not always good at accepting gifts is to give me something so perfectly tailored on so many levels that it makes me stop breathing for a moment.

AlsoCryptic:

Yeah, so, I guess I _really have to work on that_ then, don't I? Fck. In a good way. In an overwhelmed way. The prospect of success is terrifying.

NotCryptic:

Um, go write me porn? Seriously, like practically no one has written anything this year, and it's heartbreaking. Except for that one person who wrote me more than a dozen, which is totally awesome and to be encouraged, but holy crap I don't want to post more stories from one person than everybody else combined, that is just silly.

So yeah.

~Sor
MOOP!
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
So, apparently I continue to have a crush on every boy. Inspired in part by blintzes, xxxenophile, good conversation, and a directness that refreshingly mirrors my own.

I'm interested. The last time I specifically mentioned this tag, the boy in question was rather intended for light and fluffy and friendship and sex, and rapidly became some strange form of love and trust1 and intimacy that makes me consider perhaps parts of my life could maybe ought to be restructured to ensure he's always in it.

And indeed, the boy in question this time is rather intended for light and fluffy and friendship and sex. My dance card is plenty full, and I don't think he's actively looking for further commitment, so he's quite likely to stay that way. But still.

This is a note to watch eight months and see what's happened. Because I love testing my ability to identify the people I want in my life within only a few hours of meeting them.

~Sor
MOOP!

1: I trust Sparr not to leave, in a way that I have never before trusted any boy with that particular part of myself, and indeed, I think being able to trust him with that has made it easier to trust the rest of my darlings. It's maddening on multiple levels that he can do that to me. It's maddening a lot of what he can do to me, and it's all good. In answer to that post, I love you too.

...and for completely unrelated reasons to him, it is scary to publicly declare my love for a boy. I like that I am sometimes able to do it again.
sorcyress: A character from a comic about the maintenance workers of the universe, holding a thumbs up and saying "MOOP!" (Zonker-MOOP!)
ETA 19Aug: I'm gonna make this a toppost for the month, so that I can find it real quick. I'm also going to update it occasionally, with the most recent list of things I plan or need to do.

So, guys. I'm going to Dragon*Con. For the first time ever, zohmygod!

I hear it's really really big and scary there, and that there's several billion things to do that I would like to do. So I'm not definitely sure what on earth I'm going to be doing (besides hiding in a corner).

THINGS I KNOW I AM DOING, HOWEVER!:

  • I know I'm doing the live action Dr. Horrible show --I'll be one of the random extras running about, woooo! This takes out Thursday (rehersal) and Friday nights (show, and you should totes come!), though of course I'll be around after it ends.


  • I am almost certainly attending-or-walking-in the parade, because I think my mother will kill me if I don't. Soyeah. Details to come. NTS, talk to Paula about borrowing a dress for being Queen Elizabeth possibly.


  • My late nights/early mornings/not so early mornings are very plausibly going to involve being dragged to various and sundry parties by Sparr. I have no idea.


  • I insist, insist, fucking INSIST on hanging out with [livejournal.com profile] zaphod_groupie for at least ten minutes, somewhere along the way. She's only been my older sister since 2005 or something, I really ought to actually meet her.


  • And on a related note, her Gabity-Gabe is I believe gonna be at D*C, and I should give him hugs, which I'm sure I've promised to him at least once.


  • So, I mentioned that I was gonna be at D*C in [livejournal.com profile] rm's journal, and she responded by being excited and telling me that we should hang out. This is basically filling me with a) glee and b) headdeskery over how fangirly I'm being over someone who is, you know. A normal person who I totes want to be when I grow up. So I'm hoping to do some hanging out there.


  • Similarly, I might break my "never going to con panels unless I get dragged by a boy1" rule and show up to some of her panels 'cause they sound cool. Oh! And the director of HorribleTurn is doing a panel, I believe. So that would be rad.


  • Costumewise, I'm gonna break out the Daria-goodness for a while, probably tart it up as a Booty Chest girl2, possibly bring a "French Cuisine Kills Bunnies"3 sign, run around with mom as a cowboy or Australian girl4, and potentially dress up as one or two more secret things


  • Blood Drive opens at two on Thursday, which should be after I arrive. I've wanted a Heinlein pin for-ev-er, and before the con actually starts *may* give me time to be well rested and fed beforehand, give blood, and recover some afterwards.


  • Oh yeah, dragon*con has Simply Obscene amounts of dancing, doesn't it? Yeah, do that.


Annnnd that's it for "planned" stuff. What HELLS IMPORTANT thing am I missing? And who else is gonna be around and want to hang for food or something?

Also, you know what I will be able to do at DragonCon that I haven't been able to do at ANY CON PRIOR?

My 21-year-old butt will be able to go to ALL the parties. Boo-to-the-fuck-yah!

~Sor
MOOP!

1: This is inadvertent but true --in five years of cons, I've only ever been to two panels --one on Regency men's fashion, which, okay, wasn't *really* being dragged by a boy though Magus was there looking pretty, and one on...um...rope. *coff*.
2: See also, this, and seriously, go watch the third episode of Middleman if you haven't.
3: ...first episode of Middleman. Easy costume, otherwise.
4: See also, Dr. Horrible and HorribleTurn respectively.


ETA: Crap and a half, I left my stripper heels in MA, didn't I? Oh well, I will have a slightly subpar Booty Chest outfit then.
sorcyress: A character from a comic about the maintenance workers of the universe, holding a thumbs up and saying "MOOP!" (Zonker-MOOP!)
Clean all the things, damnit. Dear stuff I have to get done: Oh, it is *on*.

So, this post is my post to keep coming back to today, so that I have a list of things that I have actually accomplished. Whee!

STUFF ACCOMPLISHED TODAY:

*Took one of my few remaining emergency Concertas, figuring even placebo effects would help today
*Brushed my hair
*Braided my hair (albeit badly, it's hard to divide it right)
*Completed the first draft of my essay (stitching paragraphs together)
*Completed the second draft of my essay (cutting said paragraphs to fewer than 500 words)
*Sent copies to mom and Sparr for betaing
*Half-completed the third draft of my essay (based on Sparr's suggestions, still waiting for mom)
*Found my copy of "Sirens", which has been missing since I got to MD (I thought I left it in the car to Balticon, despite that not making sense)
*Eat breakfast1
*Script movie
*Finish getting my essay beta'd
*Final draft of essay
*Real final draft of essay (with dad's thoughts too)
*Wrote 750words!
*Beta script
*Rescript movie
*Beta application (via mom)
*Format application
*Print application
*Ate dinner
*Print essay
*Shoot movie
*Take headshot for MatM application
*Sound for movie
*Edit movie
*Burn DVD(s)
*Test DVD(s)

STUFF TO STILL ACCOMPLISH TODAYTOMORROW:

Ohgod. Is boring )

~Sor
MOOP!

1: Or rather, am in the process. Also, these are the worst eggs I have made for myself in like...four years. I'm very disappointed. I blame the lack of cheese in the house, and probably not actually using enough Teriyaki sauce.

2: None of you are actually reading this. Know how I can tell? Because I don't have half a dozen comments (or even one!) telling me I forgot to close my italics tag. Colour me traumatized, except this is a hells boring entry.
sorcyress: Just a picture of my eye (Me-Eye)
Origins is essentially done for me --Mom hopes to leave in about two hours, and all I have left to do is buy one game from the dealers hall, and say goodbye to whoever I see.

I have absolutely no voice, have to work at day camp tomorrow (just as a floater, which I have never even once done before and is going to be Weird As Fuck), and should probably sleep at least twelve hours before then, at least, say, eight of which should be in an actual bed.

I was the only person in the IIT to not win a medallion of any sort, which is okay, because it was an amazing tournament. Hopefully next year it will have more than five players, even if that means my chances go down again. Hopefully between now and then I will actually practise some of that restructuring that's, you know, half the game or something.

It was a GREAT year for Werewolf variants. Peter did not manage to get his vampire game (with infections) in a state he was willing to run it, but Ross ran an incredible daytime only game on Friday night, that became the first of five or six (and the only one actually modded by him), and Sparr invented a double-village variant, where each player got two role cards.

Also a great year for me getting to know more werewolf players --closer to Ray, definitely closer to the younger Bobek (who is like...a month and a half older than me, grr!), a little bit closer to Ionnis (who is insanely hard to read), closer to Peter (who I will hang with when I'm in Chicago) and Ross (who I will try and hang with when I can) of course, closer to pretty pretty David (which is fantastic, and I CANNOT WAIT to see one of his Dragon*Con costumes), and lots closer to this cute guy called Brad who lives something like two miles from The Empty City. So YAY!

(And if the above sounded in part like personal reference to you...good catch, well done.)

I did not go and cry in the bathroom even once. This, plus the fact that I was not put into the Icehouse during the IIT means that I pretty much achieved my Big Origins Goals.

(Yes, I *am* so pathetic that those were my only real Big Origins Goals. Sigh.)

My hair is still the longest. I almost walked away with both the longest and the female runner up medallions, since I was almost the only girl. Rad, dude.

I did not play any Black Ice, which makes me a little sad.

Andy vs Everybody went well, much better than last year. Except for the part where Andy got annihilated. Thursday he scored about 18.6% wins, Friday 32%, and Saturday...well...I haven't done the percentages, but he got three wins, against Everybody's 25. Yeeeeeah.

This seems to have inadvertently turned into my con report, which is alright by me. So yeah, that was my Origins. I'll try to write something more coherent sometime, but I had a really *really* good year this year, marred only by losing my voice faster than usual, and the notable absence of this boy I met one Origins who I seem to have first described as "beyond awesome, he is VERY cool".

(Which, let it be noted, is an amazingly noticeable absence. The number of times I caught someone out of the corner of my eye and whipped my head around to see if it was him was staggering. And it never was.)

And I still need/want to make a really big werewolf post/thread talking about some thoughts and some strategies and stuff. Also, one of these years, I want to get a suite to myself, identify fewer than thirty people who are allowed in, and have crazy exclusive yet deeply awesome games of werewolf while lounging about in our pyjamas on beds and while eating food and being chill and incredibly relaxed. That is a beautiful pipe dream, my friends.

Gonna go pack now. Ta!

~Sor
MOOP!

Origins

Jun. 25th, 2010 06:16 pm
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
I am at Origins. It is awesome. I am not tweeting nearly enough, because I am lazy and it's hard to type with the PoSBox1.

We played one *epic* game of Werewolf last night --it was a no nighttime round, designed with people mingling in mind. It ended with a seer confirmed voting block, after we lynched Tony for being a wolf. The like...three of you who know Tony and aren't here know how awesome it is that we actually managed to get him.

My voice has disappeared faster than any Origins ever. Seriously, it was starting to seriously go last night(Thursday) and today it is practically gone. Luckily, I survived Andy vs Everyone. Hopefully, I will still be able to talk at six tomorrow, to survive it again.

Annnnnd that's life. I need more ice cream sometime.

~Sor
MOOP!

(Unrelatedly, holy hell, Sparr's laptop is huge. By which I mean, dunno, five or six inches bigger than mine, but when I'm trying to lounge with it on my lap, that is a lot.

Also, dear Alys, laptop is not a euphemism. OR IS IT?!)

1: PoSBox is my current cell phone. It lives up to its name.
sorcyress: Just a picture of my eye (Me-Eye)
So this is technically fifteen minutes late. Sue me, it's not tomorrow until the sun rises or I sleep.

A week ago, I made a post being all "Half-Naked Thursday, whee!". It was meant to be a look at more metaphorical nakedness, stripping down the walls to show you what I've really got going on in my world.

At any rate, then I mentioned that I originally had two photos and was only showing one of them. This makes this weeks HNT really really easy for me to manage --next week, I will have to actually look around to find a bit of myself to reveal, if indeed, I continue on with this trend.

But yes. Have a picture of me being naked. Odd, in that it's also not a picture of me at all.

Happy Thursday.



This second is a little more new, a little more raw. It's the ceiling of my room, directly above my desk.

A week or two ago, I was having a rough night. In talking with Rackle, she brought up the term "Index card days", where you're just so socially frustrated and out of cope that you have to communicate through tiny 3" by 5" cards.

I have a pile in my desk drawer. Out they came that day, and it seemed the most logical thing in the world to write some song lyrics across them. Lyrics from strength-songs, where the lyrics don't necessarily matter in the slightest, but the message of being strong is crucial to my well being. "Go Away Godboy" is the song I use the most for this --I've never really had problems with people trying to convert me or mine, but howling along with the words can stabilize my mood like nothing else.

Because the words are meant to say "fuck you, I'm stronger than that", and on days when I am weak and helpless, I really need that.

And I forced myself out of the sobbing1 to write more of them, because if I am actively writing, I am forcing distraction, and that little edge of distraction is all I need sometimes to stabilize. All of them have wound up there, tucked into the framework of the drop ceiling. I've got ten of them now, apparently. I'm sure that, as I enter this mood, and need the music and lyrics, I'll think of more.

So that's my current vulnerability. Come visit, I'll let you read them if you'd like.

~Sor
MOOP!

1: Which itself was after that pervasive emptiness, and broken by my reaching out. I don't like playing shitty girl games, and I hate being cryptic, but that doesn't mean I manage to make all my words to people transparent. There are people who can read between the letters and the lines, through the /me and the carefully arranged punctuation and capitalization, and figure out what I'm actually trying to say over IM, that I just can't, because the words just won't come.

...and because there isn't an elegant way to put what I'd be doing in reality into words. It's that vulnerable look when I arrive on your doorstep, and ask for a hug, and pull myself into you, a double fistful of your shirt as I hide inside your arms, and pour myself out onto your shoulder. It's past want, straight into need, and I don't have a lot of people I've done it to, or *could* do it to (two? maybe three?) and I'm about to lose one of them, but I don't care, because sometimes there's safety there, and that's what I need more than anything else, that memory of safety. ((ETA: Holy run-on sentences, Batman! But this is kinda what my brain starts doing when I am in a vulnerable state))

It's an index card with eight words on it. It's an IM with eleven. It's being held, and being *held* and being held. It's the stairwells at Springstep, and just out the door at NEFFA. It's the long process of reducing the scarred and improving the weird. It's crying in June with the door shut, it's crying in July curled in the arms of someone I can't have, it's crying in August to a boy I barely know, it's crying-sobbing-breaking in January as I watch Next to Normal and try to separate their pain from mine, and try to find the strength I need to say the words I can't, I couldn't, I did.

It's the response I need, when I need it. It's breaking the emptiness with a *kiss*, and breaking the sobs with an *embrace*. It's *comfort*, from everyone who's ever given it.

And it's s00j and Dar and Vienna and Amanda and Alice.

If you can figure out a quicker way to tell people I need "that" than all the above, I'd love to hear it.
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
I have been in one place I've never been before, and one place I haven't been able to be in a year and two places where I should be more often and all of it has been just *lovely*.

And this is how my weekend has gone. How're you lot?

~Sor
MOOP!
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
I just got woken up with *the* most amazing kiss I've had in aaaaaages.

It was long and sweet, and made me start to squirm, and as I did, my eyes fluttered open. To reveal me alone in my bed, alone in my room.

I don't think my brain can yet register frustration, because it's still, ten minutes later, going "buh?" and trying to pull away from the shivery-squirmy-goodness of that all, not that I particularly *want* to pull away from such.

So that's me. Do me a favour and go kiss the sin out of someone you love. Have a great day!

~Sor
MOOP!
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Meeeeeeeeeeme!

the ten meme )

It's over!

~Sor
MOOP!

1: Sorceress is a title. Sorcyress is a name.
2: R = None of your damn business, D = my real last name, A = None of your damn business.
3: 'of the family of'
4: 'of the location/world of'
5: 'of the god'

6: And in all honesty, "sneaking out? No."
7: Used here to mean "independent" and not "Indie"
8: Not actually proven and probably not a fact.

Profile

sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Katarina Whimsy

May 2025

S M T W T F S
    123
45678 910
11 1213141516 17
18 19 20 212223 24
25 26 2728 293031

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated May. 29th, 2025 11:21 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios