(no subject)
Nov. 6th, 2014 11:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sorcyressThis post will probably make more sense if you read my previous post first. Anywho, I (at 25) wrote a letter to my teenaged (15ish) year old self, and then wham-bam, 35 year old self decided to come stick their nose in.
***
BzzzzORRRRMMMM!
A swirling vortex opens, looking somehow like the perfect cross between Science Fiction and High Fantasy. I step out, because fuck letters, you're a legal adult, and the first thing you and I are gonna do is fuck like humans. For hours.
Sometime in the last ten years, I have learned how to give a good cunt-licking. You are delighted by the number and variety of my cocks. This part, the hands-on physical education bit, it's very good.
But afterwards, as we're sorta draped over each other and the bed, is time to have a Talk. I begin with [redacted, redacted, redacted]. We're going to chat about sex.
Well, less sex, really. You understand the mechanics quite adequately already, you've known the most base pieces of it since you were very young. "Here is some ways mommies and daddies fit together" taught you from the get-go that sex could be fun (in a year or two, you will find copies of that book --and several others-- and make care packages for the Bear and the Wolf and the Lion and Veronica's little dearest.)
But we're gonna talk about the surrounding pieces, since we have understood for a very long time indeed that sex covers a significant amount of brainspace. Let's begin.
Do not stay with someone who makes you sad. You're going to live forever, of course, but that's still not a good reason to waste your time like that. I leave it to your own interpretation whether that means you break up with them, or you talk to them until they don't make you sad anymore. Either choice is fine, really. But even if it's a slow subtle drain, it's still a drain, and you don't deserve relationships that drain you.
Not ever.
Do not be afraid of fucking strangers. The social groups you move through have enough folk with enough weird that you don't have to lack for partners. Far more importantly, there are enough good people who will understand your weird, that intercourse never has to be an option again unless you explicitly want it to be. You can have a fantastic fulfilling sex life without it.
Kink is so important, don't let yourself lose it, or push it off to the side because you're "too busy". You know already that you need power dynamics like oxygen, hurry and start putting some better ones--more communicative, more explicit, more varied and interesting-- in place post haste. It doesn't have to be pain-based, it doesn't have to be dominance-based, but make sure there is something in your life to help you remember and understand that you are Other and that includes, significantly, your sexuality.
(it includes, significantly, the parts of you that are not sexual.)
Don't worry, high schoolers are still incredibly stupid and inexpereinced and just _gods no_. That's only become more true with age. You've never been tempted, because let's face it, SO. DUMB. You are an adult person and you already know damn well you couldn't be content with anything other than adult --real adult-- partners.
But yes, the average age of your intimate partners has dropped some. Really, it'd be hard not to. You already know the campground rule, you already know how to model good behaviour, perhaps the only thing you don't know is how to not be so intense towards that enthusiastic young twenty-something with the great body. You don't really know how not to be so intense towards anyone, but you'll get better at modulating it with practice. Intensity is good. Helps you get shit done.
If I may digress away from the sex for a moment, figure out how to get shit done. Finding a fucking professional to help would be an outstanding first step. I promise you can find an extra $40 a month for copays or whatever if it means you don't have to feel so scattered all the time.
Back to the sex, I was looking over that letter we sent to the 15 year old us. Very nice! But there's a few bits I noticed, where you were basically behaving like the WORLD'S BIGGEST HYPOCRITE! To wit:
THIS HAS NOT CHANGED. YOUR AWESOMENESS IS NOT A FINITE RESOURCE, IT DOES NOT RUN OUT AS YOU AGE. YOU INVESTED IN AWESOME A LONG TIME AGO, AND NOW IT JUST KEEPS GROWING. EXPONENTIALLY.
FUCKING
ACT
LIKE
IT.
I know. Believe me, I know. Not just remember, but still actually and actively know what it's like to fight demons and depression and distraction. We are so bad at it. Sometimes, I sob for all the ways in which I'll never be as perfect as I demand.
But goddamnit, "fake it 'til you make it" is the best possible advice you could ever have here. When you are feeling not-awesome START DOING AWESOME SHIT UNTIL YOU DO. If you need to print out a fucking calendar to shade in to keep track of your obligations and timing and stuff, THAT WOULD BE A GREAT IDEA. If you need to use habitRPG more religiously, also great. If you have to find or commission or split yourself into a non-sexual motivation domme, welp, put on a goddamn crown and call me Magesty.
But you're not living up to your potential, kiddo. And that would be completely fine and not a problem except you're not happy. You only get to skip out on potential if you can be happy first.
Having a good sex life is no small part of that. I won't always be able to commission the time portals to come harass you.
Make amazing shit, 'k?
Xan Sorcyress, known also as Katarina Ruth Erik de [redacted] de Whimsy den MOOP! ged Athe ged Gaea (what other names did you have that you'll recognize to know this is serious) departs, leaving you alone with your thoughts. And hungry.
Go eat something, kid!
***
MOOP!
***
BzzzzORRRRMMMM!
A swirling vortex opens, looking somehow like the perfect cross between Science Fiction and High Fantasy. I step out, because fuck letters, you're a legal adult, and the first thing you and I are gonna do is fuck like humans. For hours.
Sometime in the last ten years, I have learned how to give a good cunt-licking. You are delighted by the number and variety of my cocks. This part, the hands-on physical education bit, it's very good.
But afterwards, as we're sorta draped over each other and the bed, is time to have a Talk. I begin with [redacted, redacted, redacted]. We're going to chat about sex.
Well, less sex, really. You understand the mechanics quite adequately already, you've known the most base pieces of it since you were very young. "Here is some ways mommies and daddies fit together" taught you from the get-go that sex could be fun (in a year or two, you will find copies of that book --and several others-- and make care packages for the Bear and the Wolf and the Lion and Veronica's little dearest.)
But we're gonna talk about the surrounding pieces, since we have understood for a very long time indeed that sex covers a significant amount of brainspace. Let's begin.
Do not stay with someone who makes you sad. You're going to live forever, of course, but that's still not a good reason to waste your time like that. I leave it to your own interpretation whether that means you break up with them, or you talk to them until they don't make you sad anymore. Either choice is fine, really. But even if it's a slow subtle drain, it's still a drain, and you don't deserve relationships that drain you.
Not ever.
Do not be afraid of fucking strangers. The social groups you move through have enough folk with enough weird that you don't have to lack for partners. Far more importantly, there are enough good people who will understand your weird, that intercourse never has to be an option again unless you explicitly want it to be. You can have a fantastic fulfilling sex life without it.
Kink is so important, don't let yourself lose it, or push it off to the side because you're "too busy". You know already that you need power dynamics like oxygen, hurry and start putting some better ones--more communicative, more explicit, more varied and interesting-- in place post haste. It doesn't have to be pain-based, it doesn't have to be dominance-based, but make sure there is something in your life to help you remember and understand that you are Other and that includes, significantly, your sexuality.
(it includes, significantly, the parts of you that are not sexual.)
Don't worry, high schoolers are still incredibly stupid and inexpereinced and just _gods no_. That's only become more true with age. You've never been tempted, because let's face it, SO. DUMB. You are an adult person and you already know damn well you couldn't be content with anything other than adult --real adult-- partners.
But yes, the average age of your intimate partners has dropped some. Really, it'd be hard not to. You already know the campground rule, you already know how to model good behaviour, perhaps the only thing you don't know is how to not be so intense towards that enthusiastic young twenty-something with the great body. You don't really know how not to be so intense towards anyone, but you'll get better at modulating it with practice. Intensity is good. Helps you get shit done.
If I may digress away from the sex for a moment, figure out how to get shit done. Finding a fucking professional to help would be an outstanding first step. I promise you can find an extra $40 a month for copays or whatever if it means you don't have to feel so scattered all the time.
Back to the sex, I was looking over that letter we sent to the 15 year old us. Very nice! But there's a few bits I noticed, where you were basically behaving like the WORLD'S BIGGEST HYPOCRITE! To wit:
Accept that you are so fucking awesome it would be a sin to limit your awesomeness
THIS HAS NOT CHANGED. YOUR AWESOMENESS IS NOT A FINITE RESOURCE, IT DOES NOT RUN OUT AS YOU AGE. YOU INVESTED IN AWESOME A LONG TIME AGO, AND NOW IT JUST KEEPS GROWING. EXPONENTIALLY.
FUCKING
ACT
LIKE
IT.
I know. Believe me, I know. Not just remember, but still actually and actively know what it's like to fight demons and depression and distraction. We are so bad at it. Sometimes, I sob for all the ways in which I'll never be as perfect as I demand.
But goddamnit, "fake it 'til you make it" is the best possible advice you could ever have here. When you are feeling not-awesome START DOING AWESOME SHIT UNTIL YOU DO. If you need to print out a fucking calendar to shade in to keep track of your obligations and timing and stuff, THAT WOULD BE A GREAT IDEA. If you need to use habitRPG more religiously, also great. If you have to find or commission or split yourself into a non-sexual motivation domme, welp, put on a goddamn crown and call me Magesty.
But you're not living up to your potential, kiddo. And that would be completely fine and not a problem except you're not happy. You only get to skip out on potential if you can be happy first.
Having a good sex life is no small part of that. I won't always be able to commission the time portals to come harass you.
Make amazing shit, 'k?
Xan Sorcyress, known also as Katarina Ruth Erik de [redacted] de Whimsy den MOOP! ged Athe ged Gaea (what other names did you have that you'll recognize to know this is serious) departs, leaving you alone with your thoughts. And hungry.
Go eat something, kid!
***
MOOP!