MOOP!

((I maintain, since I had another complaint that my livejournal was too depressing¹, that this is a happy entry. Or at the very least, an introspective entry. Shutup, it's my journal, and I will introspect if I want to.))

So, I'm an introvert, yeah? Given an extended amount of time around a lot of people, I will start to get unhappy and offcenter. This results in me being short-tempered, and less able to cope with things than usual. Very bad. Luckily, it's easy to fix --I go spend a couple minutes-hours-days by myself, and bam, I am back to my usual smiling self.

Right, fine, that all makes sense.

Except for the fact that I do *massively* better when I get to regularly interact with whoever's at the top of the list of people I like. Spending every night over at some sweet thing's house may make my brain start to whine a little, but it also means that I don't have panic attacks.

Seriously. To put it more directly, kissing keeps me from freaking out.

...yeah, I don't really know how to feel about this either. Or rather, I do know my usual reaction to things like this --to be uncomfortable with the dependence on others it illustrates. But the thing is...I like kissing. And cuddling, and snuggling and dancing and physical intimacy, and *conversation*, oh gods, I love good conversation with smart people. Hanging out with people I love, really LOVE, calms my brain down and helps me retain my sometimes fragile stability. I've more or less been aware of this fact for a long time now --when did I actually start asking for help when I was breaking down again? Yeah, that.

Of course, I'm still shit at actually seeking the help when I'm in the middle of a breakdown. I don't really think anyone's good at that skill, and if they are...well...they probably need the help a lot less than the rest of us honestly. But it occurs to me that there's a corollary to the skill, and that's keeping whatever ethereal shield protects me from hitting the breaking point in the first place full. Which means talking to people I like (and people I love), and snuggling and hugging and kissing and all the rest of it. Oh. Darn. That'll suck for me.

On second read, this entry doesn't *really* make a lot of sense, which is why this is a journal and not a blag. Blags are for people who can actually write essays to turn into entries, like JoshZed or my math teacher. That's okay, I like journaling an awful lot, so you guys will have to just deal or somesuch. Ta!

~Sor
MOOP!

1: I maintain that my livejournal is *not* too depressing. Given twenty public entries, they're about evenly split between positive and negative emotions. You all just don't register the happy entries as often, because happy is boring. So nyah.

Also, wow this is passive aggressive.

P.S: Yes, this is just me talking around the fact that I leave for Origins tomorrow, and it's going to be...heh. Look on the bright side. If I spend less than 24 hours crying, I've already had a better year than last! FUCK YEAH!

...'kay, that was a little depressed. Sorry mom.

I spent the weekend in New York City with thorog and his girl, Rose. Insert appropriate They Might Be Giants song here.

We...basically had a sinfully good time of things. Saturday, we arrived and went to Surreal Estate, which is the house/commune muzikmaker21 and roughly fifty other hippies live in. We got the grand tour, and learned far too many names --I think I picked up that prettyboy is Quin(t?), and I met an adorably charming girl called Meg, an aussie named Hannah, and a different adorably charming girl called Emma, who was totally flattered when I accidentally called her Meg. We also went and got really good pizza from the sustainable pizza place across the street from Surreal Estate, where Nathen works.

Eventually, we wandered off to Times Square, where we stood in an abysmally long TKTS line¹ and spent much time debating what show to try and see². We were this close to going and seeing ROCK OF AGES³, but there was not seats together, so we decided we'd rather sit in the same place, and see Avenue Q.

After TKTS, we hit up Toys R Us, where we acquired a Brenton/gyrik_22⁴, and bunches of candy. We did not acquire a dinosaur, because it wouldn't fit in my purse, or a stick pony, even though I was tempted. Also, LEGO PIRATES ARE HAPPENING AGAIN! Just so you all know.

Dinner wound up being at a bar a couple blocks up from Times Square (Daltons? I think Daltons) which was good food, very nice to Rose and her pepper-allergy, and did not try to card us when we walked in, which would've resulted in me being kicked out⁵. So they get points! From there to AveQ, which was fairly enjoyable, and pretty much targeted exactly at the four of us --the girl halfway through her undergrad, the girl in the middle of her graduate degree, the boy just out of college and trying to make a living in the big city, and the boy trying to get a doctorate. Musicals written for twenty-somethings are fun!

Wandered for a while in search of ice cream, settled for Jamba Juice at the Port Authority, at least in part because they had bathrooms. Headed back to Surreal Estate, where we learned that drunk hippies really really like delicious oatmeal chocolate chip cookies⁶. Tho and Rose did their own thing for a bit, and I went out on one of the roofs with Nathen and Meg to chill. Oh, and in case I haven't made it clear enough yet, Surreal Estate is very *very* awesome. I may go ahead and take my ten day trial period sometime, were I a New York kind of girl. ((They give you ten days before they figure you've moved in, and should therefore pay rent or teach dancing or give backrubs or something. They are a very chill commune.))

We slept. [I am debating this sentence, someone remind me to ask Tho if I can post it.] Sunday morning we woke up, got dressed, and danced salsa and swing in the common room. Eventually, we managed to wander out for bagels, which were delicious, and thrift storing, which was really quite fun --Nathen managed to find a tie that said "viagra" on it repeatedly, and I got a gorgeous summery dress --doubly good, since it was a billion degrees out, and I had previously been wearing black jeans.

We left Surreal Estate and headed to The Strand, where we again met up with Brenton. I'm not entirely sure what happened between 1:30 and 4, but I think it involved a lot of books, and possibly Forbidden Planet. From there, we walked many many blocks to a tiny little macaroon shop Tho had found out about using the power of the INTERNET! and then a pasta shop for dinner, and a quick look around Macys while waiting for the bus home.

Ended out the trip by sitting on the sidewalk in a light rain, chatting and snuggling. Long, overly hot, ride home with some absolutely smashing conversation, and then to bed, to bed.

...or in my case, to Vera, in order to chat with people and make sure none of you has exploded while I was gone.

And that was my weekend! Origins in three days! Aiee, I've got to pack >.<

~Sor
MOOP!

1: Dear mom, you lied, it's not under the Marriot Marquee anymore. It is in fact, smack in the middle of Times Square
2: NTS: Write "Phantom of Chicago Q...OF AGES!"
3: \m/
4: Okay, yeah, there's a reason I couldn't remember your screenname, Dragon. It is a complicated name, that I'm not totally positive I can pronounce.
5: Not that we ordered any boozahol anyways. But they do sometimes card at the door, and being as I was the only under-21 in the group, it would've been annoying as all hell.
6: Brenton made 'em for us because he's a gentleman or somesuch. They were fekken' delicious, and did not last very long at all.

Right.

I'm still around.
Life is happening.
I am going to Germany in May.
I am going to London in June.
I just finished watching The Breakfast Club.

...I am SO the Basket Case. And I really do think we should watch it at the end of the year for AdComp.

Life is quiet. Although yesterday was awesome. We wound up with something like ten people playing blind tag at the park, and then me and Jeremy and FlipMatt beat each other with sticks. And there was running around and tree climbing and yay!

And after pretty much everyone else had started home, I was lying on the grass with my sword-stick across my chest. Jeremy comes over and steps on it, pushing it into me and lecturing about not being caught vulnerable. I respond by side-sweeping his leg with my arm, and rolling and coming up into a squatting position with the sword-stick in my hands. I have never felt more badass before in my life.

And Dear Veronica: You have given me an epiphany. And yes, I fully realize that it's better for me to know this. But DAMNIT! I *liked* life JUST the way it was.

Stupid epiphanys are never good.

H: You haven't been listening to enough showtunes lately, if you say that.
Why Hyde, I never took you for a Sweeny Todd fan.
*pauses*
*thinks about it*
Alright, yes I did. Nevermind.

Other other stuff:

I still need to post the Chibi-Hyde I drew, but more importantly then that, I need to post the really amazing realistic(ish) self portrait I drew. Because it impresses the HELL out of me.

I think I'm going to go dick around in my room now while listening to Rocky Horror. And yes Hyde, I know I haven't been listening to anything else for days now and it's driving you mad. But it's SO GOOD!

That is all.
~Sor
MOOP!

P.S: Kat: I don't know *why* you chewed on it. It doesn't taste very good.

Cat and Mouse updated! *gasplustloves!!*

The play('s) last night were quite enjoyable, even if I'm very very horrid at Shakespere. And Rick was wearing this INCREDIBLY hot leather trenchcoat (*drools*).

Bruce stole my hat ruthless-like, but I forgive him A) because I gave it to him really, and B) because he looked quite sexay.

Emily and Allyssa make HIGHLY hot boys.

Veronica makes a funny looking crazy old man.

Eric stole my hat. Bastard. Lilly stole it back for me though, so it's all good.

And I maintain that I did NOT promise to stop anything. You simply put the words in my mouth. So I can tickle you if I please, so nyah.

And techies are awesome. Just...yeah.

So yay! That was my yesterday. I got to see all three shed-boys, Veronica in a beard, and something like seven good actresses dressed as boys.

~Sor
MOOP!

Right, like I could ever REALLY get rid of them. Especially Rin. I need her too much. :/

Other stuff...

*I'm figure you prolly don't read this, but if you do, I'm sorry. I don't try to make you jealous.
*OKat, if you ever start smoking, I'll have to kill you. (Random dream last night where you were smoking...really weird.)
*I hope you two are happy together. You certainly deserve each other <3
*Sorry you didn't read my thing in time older sis. But please, post what you DID write, I'd like to see it.
*Haven't posted anything worthwhile for a couple days now. Besides that, but that doesn't count.

Right, signing off now.

~Sorceress

MOOP!