MOOP!

The weather finally got nice, and oh please oh please stay like this a bit, it would be _so good_ for my brain to be able to actually hang out outside for a while!

The morning started with me and Austin being lazy and happy in bed together, all snuggly and whatnot. Eventually we had to get to bells, so up and shower and breakfast and brush teeth and go go go. Not that zoomy, we just took the T instead of biking. A pleasant walk outdoors!

I was able to wear a sundress for the first time in An Age, which is a deffo good thing. And the green line continues to be _amazing_ for getting to bells --yes, we were late (about 11:40), but we also left at like...11. There's no way that would've worked out for us in the pre-GLX times.

Bells was incredibly weird, because for the first time in like...my entire tenure as tower captain, I was the baby of the band again. Ten people, all of whom could ring surprise major? And I was probably the only one who could only ring one surprise major method inside?? Yes please!

We rang a full course of CambMajor (I did _okay_ --need to get better at remembering the coursing-order) and a plain course of yet-unnamed-method (I did _great_ and actually was able to separate the place bells better than usual, especially finding a new way to think about the back work) and Dixons Bob minor (I did poorly but possibly held together longer than I have in the past?) and a couple nice minor methods. It was fun being baby again and getting to do stuff to stretch myself! Should've insisted on the Beverly instead of Cambminor though, just because I find them both pleasant but Beverly's more a challenge for the rest of the band.

After was a fairly abbreviated lunch, since most of the ringers were rushing off to a quarterpeal attempt at the other church. I got to have a wee bit of lazy conversation with Ricky, including some fanfic recs. I headed to Advent after everyone else (nice walking in the sunshine through the city) and was able to set up on the steps of a brownstone across the street from the church with my grading and listen to the qp. It's weird listening to _that much ringing_ from the outside --I kept expecting it to come round and being surprised when it didn't.

The QP went (yay!) and I was able to join folks for ice cream after. More good conversation (including "what's the difference between a theft and a heist") and then finally all off to home, whereupon I did nothing but play video games for manymany hours. Delightful!

And now I sleep! Goodnight!

~Sor
MOOP!

Today has been a pretty good day!

I am in Providence for the weekend, more'n a month since the last time Tuesday and I got to spend any time together. So that's already very very nice, just being able to be warm and cozy with someone I love. We had exactly one plan for the entire visit, and we've already done it, so the rest of tonight and all tomorrow is just about hanging out together and doing lovely nothing.

The one plan was a ~gondola ride~. She won it from an event she went to: a two ticket private ride up and down the river that runs through the center of town. We packed a blanket and a charcuterie board and wandered down to the dock, holding hands as we walked through the streets. The weather was...not as perfect as hoped, but between the walls of the river and the blanket, we were downright cozy.

Gondola came with two gondoliers, who sang songs, shared historical information, and generally contributed to the overall positive tenor of the ride. It also came with yummy "wine biscuits", which were sweet little cookies, and a nice counter to some of the more salty/savoury cheeses and meats we'd packed.

The singing was an absolute highlight, especially because they kept doing it under bridges --the final song was under a long stretch of road, the only bit remaining from when PVD paved over its river, and there was something beautifully eerie about being in this dark space, between the water and the road, and hearing her voice echoing across and around us. Makes me want to write fae shit, mostly.

It had cooled down considerably by the end, so we thanked the gondaliers and scampered home, Tuesday wrapped in the blanket, me turtled into my hoodie. Once home we were able to do other plans, which meant mostly playing separate video games together (I learned I'd been ignoring a Very Important part of the Necrodancer lobby, which made beating stage 2 suddenly MUCH more possible, Tuesday successfully killed her dad in Hades). Eventually, we forced ourselves back towards being productive, working on or grading papers, as is our wont (it is not our want).

We got food eventually and I slept a bunch while Tuesday worked, and soon we will go to bed all snuggled up warm. I'm pleased with these plans.

~Sor
MOOP!

Today was a good day!

(We're gonna ignore the little voice in the back of my head that is being all "great, you've had a few good days in a row, now it's all gonna go to shit and tomorrow will be part of the h e l l z o n e again. No brain. Don't do that. It's okay to just be happy where we're at right now.)

Today was a good day, and I am pleased by it, and here are some of the things I got done:

*Went to bed late and woke up late, but did get eight hours slep, which is the general goal. Had time to muck about a bit before my class-times.

*During class times, I saw three students (woo!) and had enough time to clean off/organize my desk (I have not yet figured out how 2computers1desk works, but it'll sort out eventually). Then I had enough time to catch up on all my grading for my Algebra students. Yay progress!

*Went to the RSCDS@home lesson, had a splendid time! Was pleased enough with the teacher that I sent him a nice email after, which is hopefully charming and not irritating. Also, he finished with "let's do an auld lang syne all across the world, cross those arms now" and wow did I fucking _shatter_ at that. It's interesting what it is that catches me out and reminds me "everything is wrong and it hurts so much"

*After that I ate lunch and played some Animal Crossing for a bit.

*Office Hours did not have any students show up *but* I was again work-productive (whaaaaaat) and managed to do all the grading for my Data Analysis seniors *and* submit their grades for progress reports. Those aren't due until Friday, so this is _deeply_ unprecedented.

*I actually made it to bells tonight --I've missed the last two weeks for reasons largely related to "pandemics are hard on the brain". Bells is, as always, fucking weird, but I did a successful touch of Cambridge minor (a bob at every lead end) (immediately preceded by a mostly successful plain course, in which I fucked up enough at the beginning that my brain decided very firmly it was going to do The Thing. I am glad I kept pushing through and didn't quit bells tonight despite it, I did mostly level out.)

Also rang GrandsireTrips (which I didn't think I knew? I still don't know if I know it, but the ringingroom runs slowly enough that I can fake it) and StedmanTrips (from the tenors, yes both of them! I know that's only one brain's worth of stuff and it's not actually impressive, but I'm pleased). Also spent quite a bit of time pub-chatting with various people, most of whoms voices I am _so happy_ to hear.

*Post bells was dinner (mostly eaten while listening to pubchat) and then chilling out while Ez did some Animal Crossing, and then realizing "oh hey, now is an optimal time to _actually work on Melody_ and do some stuff! So I did the absolute briefest searching on "how to import external hard drive" (first impressions: this is gonna suck, probably almost as bad as installing, *but* there's a way to just brute force the damn thing involving "use a working mac and a USB key to transfer the critical stuff")

*And then I did a bit more work with downloading A Music Software! Smammy recommended I try Quod Libet and on first pass it seems to do many of the things I am looking for. For trial reasons, I have downloaded all of my bandcamp purchases (which apparently included buying Wonders twice, NO REGRETS). This means my current library is about 515 tracks, 33% of which is s00j.

(About 20% each of Kate Nyx and Homestuck, and then the remaining 25% is "etc". I've got a W/IFS album, some Vienna Teng, some AJA, one musical, and a couple random internet things I bought at some point along the way. I am still looking forward to having access to EVERYTHING again, but this will be a good start!)

*I have also declared unto myself that I will be hanging out in Discord only on Melody, if at all possible, and not on the work computer anymore. Critically, this gives me the option of potentially trying to make a work discord account.

*Also, the "play fewer dumb phone games" strat that Jenn and I worked out yesterday has been successful for a first pass today, although it doesn't _really_ count since I didn't have any department meetings. We'll see what tomorrow brings!

I'm happy. It's been a good few days and I am happy for that, and that is a good thing, and the hell zone will happen when it happens and that will be okay too. I hope all of you are doing as well as you can. You have my love.

~Sor
MOOP!

Spent close to an hour getting my AnimalCrossing house _really_ in order, and now it is way past my bedtime, but I do feel oddly like that was a productive work which made me happy. Also my house is _fucking baller_ honestly! I have all six rooms done up to some extent or another and there are books scattered everywhere and insecty things, and I made an actual kitchen, and my bedroom has a double-long bathtub because why the fuck not, and there's a playroom and the *fantastic* rave room downstairs (which looks so great with the lights and I desperately need to get every other colour of them!)

Also jesus, my classroom upstairs just makes me so overwhelmingly happy every time I look at it. I don't know how I'm possibly gonna cram more bookshelves in there once I need to put up more insect models!

And I've now put my chemistry set into what once was the insect room, and that room is just dirt and fire and chemistry and a small handful of bugs and I *really* like it!

Also, now nearly every room has good time walling and flooring going on! I'm gonna keep buying more of them (slightly addictive) but I am so pleased with *that* aspect of it all as well!

Yeah, I'm happy. It was a good day today!

***

Other things that were good:

*Finished all my lessons for the week, even though I didn't wanna. Must do a lot of grading this week to catch up, Ought to reach out to damn near all my students as well, just to try and check in before said grading.

*Had *seven* separate meetings today, jesus shit. Calculus (one student), Algebra (one student), NEST (the English-learner teacher team), Self-Care Meeting (with NEST), therapy (one therapist, one very rambly patient), Office Hours (one student), Secret SCDthing Planning Meeting. I was on zoom/gmeet for six fucking hours today, and that is too many. At least Tuesday is usually my worstday for this, and next week should be oh yeah...differently bad, since I've got queermeeting next Tuesday for like two hours between NEST and office hours. Sigh.

*Ezri fed me good foods and also I washed some dishes at some point, which is A Good.

*At therapy, Jenn and I worked out a potential strategy thing to help me with the instinct to play dumb phone games all the time. We will see if it works!

*Secret SCDthing Planning meeting went _much_ better than it could've and I am really excited and also I feel really good about having had an idea and having had time to work on the idea with other people and make the idea much better. Dear self: Other people are useful and helpful and you do not have to do everything alone. The "dumbass" at the end of that sentence is heavily implied.

Okay, I love you, bye bye!

~Sor
MOOP!

I just biked home in what might've been hail, or sleet, or snow, but was certainly a lot more solid than just plain "rain". I was not properly dressed for it, and was rather miserable along the way, but now I am safe and warm and eating toast so this is pretty okay.

I get the next week off because Spring Break. My goal is to either Accomplish All The Things or Do All The Resting. Maybe both.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go play some Plants vs Zombies. Vitally important you understand.

~Sor
MOOP!

I am still in California. Or, if I never bothered to mention it properly, I am in California!

Spending all my time with someone creative in the same ways in which I am creative has been really good for me. I am still Woefully Unemployed (TM), but I've also drawn a couple things, and written a couple things, and best of all, three days ago, the clone looks up at me from our Left 4 Dead game and says "wanna write a collaborative story about a zombie apocalypse?"

So that's been going very well, and I've written like 4500 words of characters I haven't used in a while fighting zombies. Which is pretty damn great.

We've also done some cooking experiments (which resulted in bacon-wrapped potato bites!) and playing way too much Left 4 Dead (<3333!) and spending too much time on Tumblr and not enough time watching Doctor Who, but whatever, honestly. Theoretically, I can watch that on my own. Keeping up with the reblogs is tres important, zohmgar. :P

Mek might've gotten me hooked on Fallen London, or at least starting to be hooked on Fallen London. I am currently more frustrated than pleased by the throttling of actions. I appreciate that they're keeping me from wasting all my time on there, but man, I have been running out of actions quickly and that's annoying, especially when I'm still very badly in explore mode and trying to figure out the game. We'll see if it sticks at all.

I miss Boston. I miss dancing. I might claim to miss being too cold, but judging by how I actually respond to temperature, it's a dirty lie. But I'm happy I'm here because...there's a reason I call him clone faster than boyfriend. Mek gets me like no one else. The conversations we have tend to be long, meandering, weird and utterly fabulous. When's the last time you jumped from Neil Poon Handler to Oglaf?

The hope of course is that I'll go home and be rejuvenated, ready to try again being a real adult. We'll see if it works at all. I am in turns optimistic towards how lovelyinteresting this summer could be (Pinewoods in July, and Alys might visit me) and shaking with fear at the lack of funds and lack of impact I am having on the world.

In the meantime though, I'm going to clutch at this creative paradise while it is still accessible to me. Lying in bed all day in my underwear writing might not sound to you like such a beast, but oh, am I satisfied.

Even if it is too damn hot.

~Sor
MOOP!

Original Tags: musings, qlife, cloneness, snowtown, writing

So.

Updates:

*I have now seen the first six episodes of the newest Doctor Who. "Oh, fifty-seven academics just punched the air." --comedy GOLD! ((And by 57 academics, he of COURSE means several hundred slashing fangirls))

*Arm is feeling MUCH better. I had dad look at it, and he says it's only bruised. :)

*Going to a big old feast at the Old Mill where I wind up with plates full of the most delicious stuff imaginable (Neva spice cake! Apple-mango tarts! Mmmmm!!) and then waking up and realizing it was all a dream...sucks. Big time.

*I've got a trustpost brewing about mental intimacy and trust and my total lack of it. This may or may not ever come to fruition, but I think it wants to.

*I also need to make a post about body image and fud and some combination of that, inspired by recent posts by ancientsong and kittiekattie

*Orientation for becoming a target-bitch today. Yay me. :P

*I need to pack for college orientation, which is Monday and Tuesday of next week. Guess what time I have to wake up in order to be in Boston by whatever time orientation starts! I'll give you a hint --it's something like four in the fucking morning. Rar.

*I need to clean my nest. And my room. Eh, motivation. Whatever.

*I am now going to go read my friends list, and then play guitar hero. Ta!

~Sor
MOOP!

Original Tags: college, doctor who, food, trust, body image, hurt, target, the doctor, geetar hero, dreamlog

So, now that I'm in a less silly mood, I can make real posts.

I've found that I still have Zork on my computer. I think that this will become a summer project, as if I'm going to play it, I ought to play it PROPER with maps and inventory lists and whatnot.

GTalk rocks because it saves conversations AS YOU'RE HAVING THEM! And I don't even need to do anything! This makes it even easier then before to stalk the lot of you. *grin*

Not that theres a huge number of people on it. But I've got mek, Tho, and Veronica, so that's all good.

Me and V played Mega Bomberman for the first time in a while today! We learned that we still suck at beating the computer players, and that she makes stupid poses when she wins where *I* get to wave around a cool looking fan.

We also wrote up the Lunch Table Drinking Game. I shall definently post it at some point...ah, heck, I'll post it now. If you don't know who any of these people are, don't worry about it. It's just a bit of crazyness from your resident weirdos.

( There is always room for one more at our table... )

Yes it's just a big long list of in-jokes and stereotypical behavior that we have. We're like that.

Hmmm...thoughtstream dearest, where arrrrre you? Ah, Elsewhere. That's no good. And a note on that, I'm not leaving Elsewhere by any stretch of the imagination, I'm just leaving the more fantastical way it used to be. Elsewhere is just daydreams and life-fics, and if I got rid of those, what would I do on the walk to school? Or more importantly, those lonely ones home where I'm all by myself.

I've decided that I like my hair, and I think that I'll keep it long. I was contemplating chopping it off again and making it spiky short (Because if you're not going to have long hair, you should at least gel it up sometime...Yes Eric, I'm talking to you.) but I think that I prefer it like this.

And I braided it today, all by myself! *bounces* This is new and exciting for me, and it's actually a tolerable braid. Not dad quality, sure, and probably not sutible for games of blind tag or kung-fu, but perfectly decent for the day to day basis. Clealy this is a talent I must practise, like coiling cords or backrubs. Speaking of which, I need to *find* a cord to coil. My ipod-computer cable is too short...

...

Ohthankgod, elljay wins for not deleting that. *sigh of relief*

No, I didn't just accidentally log out of the window where I was typing this. Yes, I realize I should type thoughtstreams into notepad or gmail.

Sooooooo...I have typing I *should* do, namely poems. Much poemwork to be dealt with. V, if I show up to your house in a screaming panic anytime soon, try to be indulgent.

I love reading old things I've written. Not stories, generally, as I tend to cringe and cry at those, but old journal entries and the whatnot. Old Origins reports... *sighs*

Next year, love. Regardless. God, I'll be graduated by then. Dear shisuss, I'm getting old. And college. Holy bugger-fuck^*, college.

>.<

I...am doomed. Hullo, HCC, how're you today? If I can do half as well as mum does, maybe I could figure out a way to transfer somewhere a little more...not community collegeish.

*sighs*

Mom mentioned to me recently that my recent entries have all been a lot more depressed/depressing. Oddly, I agree, and I spent the better part of a thought-process trying to figure it out. I think it's this: my life isn't really any better or worse then it was three years ago, but I write in here more. I've ALWAYS written long depressed angsty emoish rants and raves and self hate and bile. I just don't normally post very much of it.

Mostly it stays locked on Dmitri or in a forgotten notebook. And for the worst of it, hidden as best I can --in plain sight. The self-hate, the wants for suicide, the truly childish bursts of anger and angst...in short, whenever I was being a drama queen.

Huh, almost made a footnote to the effect that, no, I am not planning on commiting suicide anytime soon, there are too many people who would be too badly hurt. But I think most of you know that by now, it's certainly been a subject I've touched on ocassionally. So why am I so defensive about it? Is it because I think I need to convince myself??

I would hope, and claim, no. I know that I am mentally unable to kill myself, not with all you nofty viewers back home who I refuse to hurt that badly, but emotionally...emotions are a tricky thing. They shift and change, far too fast for my feeble mind. Emotionally, do I still hit that point?

...I don't think so. Of all the Sandman I've read, even if it is just the first three books, the one image that has stuck with me the strongest is when Dreams goes to hell and passes the wood of suicides. That's nothing that I want to become, and nothing I WILL become. Suicide is the ultimate act of selfishness, and all society says that selfish is bad. "Ah, but Sorcy dear," SHE whispers to me in her sweetest hiss. "Are you not sworn to defying what society thinks of you? You never do succeed, but shouldn't you at least try. Just one. more. time?"

And swoop, SHE's gone, a chill down my spine and a nervous feeling. I stil don't understand HER, but truly, who understands themselves? Especially their inner demons...

I defy society, but not morality. Hell, if you look at my morals, I'm more stubborn in them then nearly anyone I know. Sex, is icky, and kissing almost as much so. Really, I don't think I'm exaggerating when I call it sucking face, I don't know WHAT you lot all see in it. You make it look quite unapitizing, that's for sure. *gives Veronica a pointed look. GSA party?*

And yes, I have a girlfriend. Who is nearly as asexual as I am. People always get this shocked look when I say I've never even frenched her, and I have a nagging suspicion that the world assumes that these past ten months have culminated in sex.

Really, I'm not made for romance, and even less for for lust. I flirt, yes, with everyone, and generally in a very silly sort of way. True, there can be seriousness involved, more with some people then others (Josh for example, is purely platonic. Chris, is painfully platonic. Eric is ...hmmm...need more p words...hah, therewego, partly platonic. Did I just ruin a good example by using alliteration? (Yes))

On the whole though, I'm better? at being single. Hum, what was it I said? And where --most likely here, but plausibly Behind The Walls...lemme go find it. "It must be something about summer that makes me feel asexual." Oddly true that one is. I don't always agree with my younger selves, but this one is right.

So, in that case, one wonders exactly how I got together with Blue in the first place. Or why Taya still holds so much sway over me (Goddamn you memories) even though she was nothing more then a closely guarded crush. VERY closely guarded.

Heh, maybe the summer just makes me saphhic. Bad news for all them boys. Boys? We don't need no stinkin' boys. Well...maybe just a fewww

Hey V, I officially declare that when we take over the world, we each get a harem. Yes, you can have Orlie (*gagdiepuke*) although by that point he'll be all ancient and not cute anymore, so, of course, you'll be completely over him. There is something to be said for lusting after older actors, they're distinguished! Johnny Depp is very unlikely to lose any of his zohmygod sexiness, same with Gary Oldman or Alan Rickman. Or Tim Curry.

Oh dear, I seem to have gone full spectrum. Silly to thoughtful to melencholy to thoughtful to silly. I do that a lot. I am, at heart, an optimist, and a happy person. Or so I claim. :D

I seem to be out. Which is good, as I should do some work on my poetry project. I need a song for it...Sweet Transvestite, perhaps? What, it fits my theme of individuality and being true to yourself and all that!! (Oh does it EVER!)

I better not HLN that one. Too likely to write in all the AP lines. And there are some bad ones for that song.

Actually, I'm really tempted by that now. *sighs* "If the thought of something makes me giggle for at least 15 seconds, I will assume that it's not allowed"

...Does Sweet Transvestite contain any swears? *looks* Holy shite, most excellent. It uses hell once...but that's excusable. Mrs. Hickman's going to think I'm WEIRD.

You mean she doesn't already?

I don't think she really thinks much of me one way or the other. I'm not entierly her most productive student. Maybe I'd be better if she gave out any sort of, oh, GUIDELINES FOR FUT THE WUCK WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING! *grumbles* Stupid English teacher.

...I should do some work on the big secret project for next year. Most importantly, legality and money issues. *SIGH!* Stupid administration. *shakes fist* What I would give for a libral, or even just not so screamingly conservitive principal. Someone who would, you know, actually agknowladge the GayStraightAllience or support the drama kids juuuuuuuust a little bit. (Is it bad that even a little support would be an improvement? *sigh*)

Soooooo...yes. An extra several paragraphs of thoughtstream has led to a single bit of work on my project. Procrastinators of the world unite! ...tomorrow. Of course, I generally type fast enough that several paragraphs really isn't much more then a few minutes of life.

Still, work. Hey lookit that, we don't really have a working printer. *pokes at the scanner/printer pretending to be attached to Dmitri.* Hum, wonder how this hooks up.

Ah, frell it, I'll just gmail myself and print it via Rocky/Biff/Clyde/whatever it is moms upstairs computer is named. Easier then arguing with Dimi. *pets Dmitri sweetly* Sadist of a computer, I think he enjoys tormenting me. We really need to get him that cute little laptop for him to serenade. For those going "Uh what?" blame Thorog. He's the one that suggested I could placate Dmitri about Seren (my still nonexistent ibook...she's going to be obsolete before I actually succeed in recieving her!) by getting Dimi to serenade her.

Silly is right. Although Mal's setting me on edge.

...Huh. I wonder how intentional that was. Names have such an interesting spin to them. What makes me Sor or Kat at any given time? It really is fifty-fifty or so as to which I call myself at any given point. If I'm talking to, with, or about mek I'm certainly Sor.

And on a similar note, when am I Rin then? Simply when I trail into the fantastical? let's not follow this path, it prooves unsteady.

Alright, vanishing for real this time. Funny, I'm not usually so verbose, I swear! But no elljay cuts for you, neener neener. Mostly because I'm lazy.

Ta then, for now.

~Sor
MOOP!

*Yes, I realize that this is a redundent curse. I still like it, mostly because long strings of curses are MUCH more fun. My current favorite is probably "Son of a priest and a bright orange spoon"

Ok, I know, I know. I said I wouldn't update until I could do it right (On Dmitri, in my OWN ROOM!!) But it's mothers day. And my mom is just so incredibly supercoolawesometastic, she just inspires me to break the rules.

So, here you go mom:
( 101 reasons why my mother is super-cool-awesome-tastic and one hoopy frood: )

I LOVE YOU MOM!!!!!!

~Kat

MOOP!

Original Tags: greykell ir'ryc, love, tagged, egoboosts, holidays

*collapses* As per usual, I had quite a busy weekend, which leads to the question...whos bright idea was it for me to have a social life??

Yours

Fine, it was your idea, got it. Anyway, I had a lot of socialness this weekend.

With who?

I'm getting there, stop inturrupting. And anyway, you know who, you're me. Woah that sounds really freaky.

( Read more... )