MOOP!

Bytheway, since I love my LJ friends far more than I love my Facebook friends:

Mad Max was the BEST EVER. I am planning to go see it again, but this time I'ma dress up with the proper post-apocalyptic dieselpunk aesthetic. Y'all should hella join me!

From the book of faces:

Mad Max: Fury Road is the finest action movie I have seen in my entire life. I can squee for hour about all the greatness, especially about the fact that it has multiple well-rounded female characters...to the extent where it barely passes the reverse bechdel test.

No, the movie is not perfect, but so far, it's the closest we've ever come to the platonic ideal of River Tam Beats Up Everyone. It is goddamn fucking delightful.

I'm gonna go see it again on Sunday, because *damn* but it's great. I'm gonna dress up in costume, because I'm a Big Fucking Nerd and the dieselpunk post-apocalyptic aesthetic makes my heart flutter. YOU SHOULD ALL JOIN ME IN THESE THINGS!

(Seriously, I found some silver non-toxic spray stuff for witnessing and everything.)

Somerville Theatre, 7:30 pm showing, Sunday May 31st. BE THERE, MY FRIENDS!

(And like, if you want to go, but can't afford to, let me know I will one hundred percent seriously start a scholarship fund for helping people see this movie.)

So, let's talk a whole bunch about dancing, now that I have ranted at Marc some, and so I have removed all the anger and returned to just frustration.

First off, and mostly unrelated, I feel there ought to be a seminar at things like NEFFA and Flurry which just goes through some of the beginning dance things that can apply to multiple dance forms. Things like "Give weight" or "the most important part of a figure dance is ending in the right spot". Also, up is towards the music, down is away from the music, heads are the people facing or backs to the music, sides are the people with their sides to the music.

Though in all honesty, I can distill all of dancing into three things that everyone should know: Get to the right spot. Give weight. If you're not having fun, you're doing it wrong.

***

Second off...heh. Yeah.

So, today was the Regency tea dance, where I was again specifically asked by one of the local¹ dance historians/teachers to never dance the lady's role while dressed as a gentleman (or perhaps to never have a male partner dance the lady's role while I danced gentleman, which is a problematic distinction, so out of charity I will assume I was asked the first²). The reason is for the sake of the newbies --fine, whatever, it is indeed easier for a new dancer to identify the gentleman and lady's sides of the dance when the people on them are appropriately garbed.

However, if you are going to require me not dance in the lady's role while a gent, then I am going to require two very important things from the dance community at large.

First of all, I require gentlemen to stop asking me to dance. This happens at least once at every ball I go to, and tonight it happened three times for the same dance, which is exasperating, offensive, and time-consuming. If a gent asks me to dance, I must politely explain that I am a gentleman³, disentangle myself from him, and find an eligible lady. This wastes my time, and it wastes the time of my fellow gentleman.

To the end of the dance masters and mistresses, perhaps the best thing you can do to discourage this is to refer to me properly, as a gentleman, when explaining dances. Saying something akin to "and then you will dance with the gentleman across from you --or the lady dancing the gentleman's role" while referring to me⁴ does not encourage your dancers to treat me as a gentleman.

In more blunt terms, when I put on the full tailcoat et al, I am not a lady dancing the gentleman's role. I am a goddamned gentleman, and I will dance the gentleman's role, except in the most dire or intriguing circumstances.

The second thing I require is that, if you insist that gentlemen may not dance together, ladies may not be permitted to ask one another to dance until and unless there are no unpartnered gentlemen.

Oh no! This is terribly sexist, isn't it? Why can't ladies ask each other to dance? Well, because if all the ladies on the floor are dancing with each other, and I am left alone at the end with another gent, our choices are to not dance, which goes against every reason I am here⁵, or to split up another couple, which always feels *terribly* rude to me. Perhaps the other couple is a pair of old friends, who do not see or dance with one another near oft enough. Perhaps one of the other couple is not comfortable dancing with men. Perhaps one is trying to learn how to dance the role of a gent, or is more comfortable doing such. Certainly, they may be quite pleased to be split apart, but especially when they flocked to one another in the early stages of choosing partners, it feels cruel to demand they separate.

So, if gentlemen are not allowed to dance together, then the ladies must wait until all the gents who wish to dance have partnered before joining hands. And certainly, a lady may ask a gent (and I am always honoured and pleased when it occurs to me) in order to expedite this process, but she may not be allowed to ask another lady until there are no unpaired gentlemen.

Now, for what it's worth, I think that second rule is complete and utter bullshit. When I am clothed as a lady, or clothed gender neutrally, I often ask other women to dance, in either role, because there are many people I like dancing with, and not all of them happen to dance the gentleman's role. I am fond of this ability.

Furthermore, I am perfectly willing to dance with another gentleman. Honest. I won't freak out or feel I've lost out on an important flirtation⁶, or feel otherwise cheated. I know many gentlemen --male, female, or queer identified-- who feel the same way, and are perfectly willing to dance either role with another gent.

And no, I'm not even encouraging male/male dancing⁷ (though I will happily get argumentative about that as well). I am simply pointing out that you cannot insist gentlemen not dance together unless they are in surplus, and still allow the ladies to dance together whenever they please, thereby potentially locking gentlemen out of the dance entirely.

***

Mostly unrelatedly, I also refuse to ever follow the rules of gentlemen not dancing together when it comes to couple dances at balls or other dances where there are very few of such, like only a single "last waltz". Nine times out of ten, the person I bring to dance with me is male identified, so I am _damn well_ going to dance the "special" dance with him. There is no gentleman's or lady's side to throw off the newbies with, and if it's a special important "dance the last waltz with your sweetie" dance, I see no reason why charity towards an inexperienced or unpartnered lady is more important than me getting to dance with my special important sweetie. If that makes me cruel, I happily accept the title⁸.

***

Almost entirely unrelatedly, it makes me weary that I so often get into conversations about costuming, and someone assumes that I am clearly looking for advice or resources to put together a proper lady's ballgown and corsetry. Um. No, I'm sorry, I am wearing this tailcoat and waistcoat because I prefer to dance the gentleman's role⁹ identify as a gentleman at Regency events. It is not some sort of hand-me-down "pity" garb, that I am only using until I can get an appropriate gown. I know this is a huge gender-issues clusterfuck of a thing, and will probably not be fixed in my lifetime, but man, it hurts so stupid much every time someone invalidates my masculinity by insisting or implying that I am clearly a lady, I just happen to be wearing guy's clothes.

Um, beyond that, the tea dance was fun, albeit simple, and I should never be the best dancer¹⁰ at a Regency event, that is just heinously wrong. There were delicious cookies. People complimented me on my garb, and my ludicrous non-period hat (FEATHERS).

Also, word on the rumour mill is that maybe there might be some sort of Regency-for-Scottish-dancers in Boston sometime (knock on wood), so hopefully that will happen and more of you will be available. If not, I will just have to dance with you otherwise, huzzah!

~Sor
MOOP!

1: Where local covers the upper half of the east coast

2: If you are saying that I *may*, when dressed as a gentleman, dance in the lady's role without that being problematic in terms of confusing newbies, where a cisgendered male dressed as a gentleman dancing the lady's role *would* be problematic in terms of confusing newbies, then you are NOT ALLOWED to use any variation on "because newbies cue off costumes" for why gentlemen and ladies should stick to their own sides. Because my costume is decidedly and distinctly male.

I don't know that this happened. But I also don't know that it wouldn't happen, and I find that offensive as a genderqueer person in general, and as a male-identified dancer specifically.

3: It _maddens_ me that I have to do this. It is not like I am wearing a relatively genderneutral t-shirt and jeans. I am in knee breaches, hose, a shirt, waistcoat, cravat, and tailcoat, and somehow people still assume I am dancing the lady's role? I am not talking about friends wanting a dance with me, I am talking about complete strangers who come up and ask me. What. The. Hell.

4: I'm not clear if this actually happened today, but it has certainly happened before, and even if the teacher was referring to one of the lady-identified people dancing the gentleman's role, I got more than a few glances from around the room.

5: I go dancing to dance. Everything else is secondary. I don't give a shit about your costumes, your food, or your gender roles, all I want is music and a dance.

6: I have been made livid about certain conversations in which it was pointed out that you can't have genderbalance by having a fem/fem couple, one of whom always dances the gentleman's role, because the women who danced with that female-as-gent would feel "cheated" out of a dance with a "real" male. Which is one of the reasons I've been told I can't go to Newport as a boy (in order to increase my chances of getting in). I shit you not, that is some queerphobic bull-fucking-shit right there, and I don't pander to *phobes.

7: As in, men specifically making a point of asking other men to dance, at the beginning of the "finding partners" portion of a dance, (as opposed to the end when there are no other available partners) which, yes, I suppose could technically deprive two whole ladies of dancing. Because they can't possibly dance together. Because --I shouldn't start this rant. Basically, it boils down to "everyone should learn every part, because then everyone can dance more".

8: Is Kat perhaps bitter about two assemblies ago? Noooo, how could such a thing be true!

9: I feel I should point out that in all truth, for all dancing, I prefer to be as ambidancetrous as possible --dance as evenly split down the lead/follow (or lady/gent) line as possible. However, if I am formally dressed in the costume of one gender or another, that means I am much more inclined to be dancing the role I'm presenting.

And I do really love dancing the gent in Regency. There's a lot of flirtation, gentlemen get more and better solo sequences, and I happen to prefer vests to basically every dress ever. Now that I think of it, I should change the wording up there --regardless of what role I dance, I vastly prefer to dress the gent.

10: genarti may very well have had the footwork and figures better than me, and there were certainly a few of the EA/CVD folks who both knew what they were doing, and had the springyness to support it. But I was decidedly in the top tier, and that is _insanely_ inappropriate for my skill level, and that of the people I know.

So.
Clothes.
And the fact that I seem to care about them.

That is a thing, yes it is. It is a somewhat new and unusual thing for me, as I am very staunchly of the "I will wear jeans and a t-shirt and it will be fine" camp. And yet, virtually my whole life I have been a fan of playing dress-up, figuring out just which pieces looked best with what accessories. Oh sure, at some point I started to call it "costuming", and I've never been one to tell whether the colours I picked were willing to play nice with each other, but clothes are kinda fun! Sure, I don't have any talent at making them, and have been known to publicly revile sewing with the same intensity I normally reserve for that thing that happens in the kitchen¹, but then again, I hear there is this marvelous new invention called the sewing machine that may make it a less loathsome task. And, well, it's all very good to revile sewing, but thrift stores will only get you so far in finding costume components.

However, while costuming is all well and good, and between my good luck and charm, often surprisingly easy for me², there's this whole other aspect of clothing, and that seems to be the day-to-day outfits. Things that you wear out and about in the world, at all the various levels from casual to full formal, but don't necessarily count as costume³. I am especially shite at professional, as it seems to have all these rules that sound like you should dress formally, but if you wear a prom dress, you've somehow done it entirely wrong.

The other problem, with both costume and non, is that I grew up in a household that was very low on caring about clothing. I ultimately think this was for the best for me --I certainly prefer my mother to your stereotypical frippered fifties housewife-- however, it has left me with a slim gap in terms of figuring out exactly what looks good on me, in terms of both colours and style. Clothing styles are made complex by the fact that not every body shape looks good in ever style^{4, 5}, and so while there are almost certainly clothes that look good on everyone out there, it is sometimes difficult to discern what those clothes are. I had virtually no training in this as a child (t-shirt and jeans look pretty okay on everyone, though certain jean styles run into problems) and so I'm somewhat having to wing it now, mostly through the use of mirrors, and being as vain as possible. Also, I actually try on clothes before I buy them, unlike many other people⁷, which usually gives me a small hand up.

What this entire post is trying to say, in a delightfully roundabout way, is that I don't actually tend to look very good in tops without straps^{9, 15}, especially very femme ones. This actually makes perfect sense in light of something that rm recently pointed out --that when you have small tits, it often works better to emphasize the curve from shoulders to hips, rather than the more traditional breasts to hips¹¹. Strapless tops tend to draw emphasis to that breasts-to-hips curve, which on my body...is relatively straight, honestly. Or at least, relatively straight until I get down to the hips, at which point it flares out.

This isn't at all a bad thing --I dearly love having small breasts, and would not swap them for anything¹³. Similarly, my childbearing hips are crucial to being able to carry things (especially children, honestly) and providing the framework to my lovely arse. However, trying to emphasize that particular lack-of-a-curve just doesn't look very good on me¹⁴. It makes my shoulders look broad (they are, comparatively) and my breasts look decidedly non-curvy (again, they kinda are) and doesn't at all look as sleek and sexy as I'm usually hoping it will.

And best of all, I now know this. Meaning that when I *am* trying to look sexy, I can wear something else. Now, all that's left to do is figure out what precisely that something else is...

~Sor
MOOP!

1: Sex?
2: If I tell you what I paid for my reasonably period, gorgeous dark blue brocade Regency-era tailcoat, you will quite plausibly glare at me. Hint: nothing. I swiped it from the dress-up pile, long after Chort donated it. I love love love being second-gen fan, and knowing all the right people. <3
3: I think I can, because of aforementioned tailcoat, wear a more intense formal dressed in costume (and as a male) than I can in non-costume (and as a female). This is very silly and makes me smile.
4: See also "Everyone looks pregnant in empress waistlines unless they are extremely lucky or wearing the proper corsetry"⁶
5: And even more complex by the fact that the people who make styles really only make styles for a very small number of body shapes, and I'm not positive I'm actually one of them, but that's a rant for another day.
6: Ohmhyghod, and I just entered "empress waistline" into Google to see if the images would back me up on this, and the very first hit on regular search is some style site question of "How is it possible to wear an empress waist dress and not look pregnant". Internet, you have supported me today, I award you a cookie. Oh, and the images don't seem to know what I am talking about when I say empress waistline, so don't bother.
7: I suppose I get this at thrift stores, when you don't know if the clothes have been cleaned⁸, but at like a department store? Seriously, how will you know if it fits right if you don't try it on? Especially when we're dealing with women-sizes, which make roughly as much sense as a platypus on meth.
8: At the store I worked at, we sure as heck didn't have the facilities to clean clothes. We looked through them to make sure they weren't blatantly stained or ripped (and tossed them into the ragpile if they were), but we just hoped the donators actually washed things before giving them away. And now you know!
9: Perhaps that should be feminine-strapless-things. At the risk of sounding as though I'm fetishizing trans culture, I think I tend to look pretty good when wrapped in ace bandages¹⁰, or otherwise binding my breasts (using methods with or without straps.
10: Yes, yes, I know you're not supposed to. I've never worn them for longer than a couple hours. I both can't afford and am dubious as to my right to a proper binder¹².
11: As an aside, this is my single favourite curve on the entire female body. Every once in a while, I will realize that I am just running my hands up and down a female friend's sides, and become quite chagrined. Usually, they are okay with it (and often I ask first.)
12: Bee-tee-dubs, can we not argue about this here? Thanks.
13: Unscrewable boobs, on the other hand? I would be all about that.
14: Blah blah, subjective, blah blah, I'm probably not qualified to judge whether I look good despite it being my body, blah blah have never tried it with a properly uplifting bra (I don't own a strapless variety), blah blah whatever.
15: As an afterthought, I also look somewhat good in the strip-of-cloth-tied-around-the-bosom thing, possibly because it *just* emphasizes the breasts curve, and is often worn as part of a visually interesting costume, *and* I do have a single strapless top that I look okay in --the shape of it cooperates well with my body. So it's not impossible, just tricky.

And thereby proving that I really am the least emo person on the planet, once you put some walking outside, listening to music, and distraction into me...

So I walked over to dan4th's, both because he is closer than Marc (I think) and has a regular game night, and seriously Sor, you should be doing this twice weekly or something, and learned how to play Formula De (I came in second! People helped me a lot) and played Cheeky Monkey, AND more importantly, because Dan4th said he had a present for me, and it's more or less proven that the fastest way to get me over to your house (after offering kissies) is to have a present for me.

Unless you're Chris. But that's besides the point.

SO PRESENT!



The temptation to wear this tailcoat to the next Regency event is so fucking high, you have no idea

AND NOW I SLEEP! or write more

~Sor
MOOP!

So, there's this really damn interesting person known as rm who posts a lot about things I'm interested in, like sexuality and gender. Especially gender. Lots and lots of very awesome gender things.

One of the things I have gathered from reading all this is that, occasionally, he sees fit to dress himself up as Ianto, from Torchwood. Not as a cosplay, specifically, somuch as a "it's time for work, and today I would like to look nice and smooth and stylish like Ianto". I mean, as far as I can tell, of course --I don't know his exact motives in the action, merely that it is something he does sometimes, and completely rocks.

Rach may have Ianto days. I apparently have Middleman days. At some point, my brain ticked over into "goddamnit, Sorcy is a bit of an irresponsible twit, but MM is about the most steadfast and responsible person ever. Let's be him today, instead, and get stuff done!"

And so, after lunch when I came back to the room...


...I redressed myself accordingly.

It's a fantastic outfit. The whole thing is designed to feel solid, accomplished, good about myself. Those are grade A boots of butt kicking there, the cargo pants are designed for girls, with actual pockets, the belt is in the least known of "my colours", the button down shirt and tie are just professional, and the jacket is made pretty much entirely of win, some more win, a little bit of awesome, and even more win.¹

Oh, but of course, I'm leaving out my favourite part.



Hey, at least if I'm a tremendous dork, it's for one of the better organizations out there. (It's worth noting that I'm also wearing boy scout socks...also that sometime I should write an essay detailing my thoughts and feelings on GSUSA and BSA)

~Sor
MOOP!

1: Okay, and a tad "needs buttons" but whatever. I can fix that.

So, for those of you that don't know, I took the weekend off from college, and headed down to New Haven to dance too much and hang out with people I wish I knew better. (like the livejournaless Susan dG and aetherexplorer)

I'm currently between last nights Elm City Waltz (which felt more like dancing at the Conservatory or Oella than anything else I've done outside of Maryland, save not knowing much of anyone there) and a cotillion of assorted German dances, that, among other things, apparently involves kazoos.

And a dance called Swallow Swallow.

Can I just say that I am pretty happy that I've somehow begun to become a part of the vintage dance community? This makes me a very happyKat. Of course, the flip side is I now need to learn how to sew so I can make costuming. Sigh.

(This has been the flip side for the last year or two. Eventually I will stop whining and get a sewing machine.)

Annnndyes. Raven and I are playing internet, so that's plenty distracting. Talk to you lot later.

~Sor
MOOP!

What I have been up to since the last time I posted:

Friday was lunch at the mall, where I got to see my BostonMommy (persis) and hang out with cool people and AHM'GAWDS, I got TRAW back! Squeeeee!

Traw being my huge orange towel whom I love above all others. And yes, I was a bad hitchhiker and lost my towel, but before you get all morally superior at me, I knew exactly where Merde (My largish blue towel from Marks and Spencers) was at all times, and I went and bought Calender. (Who is bright green)

Yes, I name towels. Shh. Freak at work here.

Soyeah. I have all my towels now, which causes me to laugh evilly. Or be happy. Same diff.

Saturday I spent doing something. Oh! It was my brothers black belt testing, which was reasonably cool to watch. And he passed, so I now have a brother who is a black belt! Yayforhim!!

Then came movie night, which was "nights spent at museums" night. We watched The Hideaways, which is a *really* good adaptation of From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler and Night at the Musuem, which is entertaining, and easily slashed.

Sunday I drove out to Pangea with Ksatyr (cute little vegan grocery store in Rockville) then came home, watched the second pirates movie for review, then went out with mum, the kids, Ksatyr, and Speaker2Animals to watch the third pirates movie.

( Cut for spoilers. Like the fact that Snape kills Trinity with Rosebud. )

And, because I'm me, I all kinds of dressed up for it, even though I was nearly a month late in seeing it. I looked bloody well awesome, though I'm not sure I bothered to take pictures. Lemme check my camera.

Nope, no pirate pictures. BUT, I do have one picture of my hair, after JenBark got done making it look exceptionally gorgeous at movie night. If I am a goddess of hair (Which I tend to believe, because my hair is incredible) then I maintain that Jen gets to be first priestess of my temple. Soyeah. CLICKY!

That's pretty much the end of my ramblings. I spent today sleeping, being jerked around by Target, dealing with an emotional sister, chillaxing with Ksatyr, and making a Vampire charecter. My charecter is a complete street rat, who keeps pretending to be respectable in order to screw around with the mortal politics, though she really doesn't have any sort of plan for them. She also does not yet have a name --I will have to fix that.

Annnnnnd I'm out. Byee!

~Sor
MOOP!

[Poll #376008]

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