MOOP!

A/N: I wrote this ages ago, near the end of January, but haven't gotten around to posting it until now. I have not bothered to time correct it, which is why it is talking about Ohayocon happening in the future. It's still worth reading.

There is a short video on YouTube that manages, in sixteen seconds, to encapsulate an important lesson the vast vocal majority of the internet missed entirely. You should go watch it, but if you haven't the time, I've recreated the entire thing word for word here:

It's okay to not like things
It's okay
But don't be a dick about it
It's okay to not like things
Don't be a dick about the things you don't like.

With the exception of the misandrist vocabulary, this right here is maybe the biggest thing fandom --and I mean every single one of them needs to learn, right now. It's okay to not like things as long as you don't act like a jerk about it. So simple. So obvious. And yet...

---

Recently Ria (my former-future roommate, close friend, and moirail) asked me if I could write a few words on the subject of fandom shaming. The above lesson is the first thing that sprung to mind -the fact that not everybody is going to be into every fandom (or every character or pairing or plot or episode or whatever).

And that's *okay!* People who are into something shouldn't make the people who aren't feel bad. People who aren't into something shouldn't make the people who are feel bad. Because, and I know this is a very complicated idea to wrap your head around, different people enjoy different things. Making ANYONE feel bad about what they do or don't enjoy is just a shitty thing to do.

The specific thing that brought this up was Ria's encountering two different posts on two different social networks in the span of two days, saying pretty much the same thing: "Ugh, I can't believe those terrible immature Homestuck fans are going to have a big presence at Ohayocon, they're ruining our con!"

Now, Ohayocon is something Ria's been looking forward to for a while, in part because she's going to hang out with a bunch of her fellow Homestuck fans who will coo over her brand new Aradia cosplay (which is gonna be so great you guys, she's been working super hard on it and it looks good.) She's also going to indulge in a bunch of geekery and fandom and cosplay that has nothing to do with Homestuck at all, but because of these nasty comments, she's feeling a little shaken --something about spending the entire con sitting in the corner and glowering. This is a terrible plan.

So here we go: Homestuck is big right now. It has lots of fans, and many of these fans are young, or new to fandom, or both. It's one of the current *big things* in the fandom/anime circles. Not everyone likes it...and that's cool, okay? You don't have to like Homestuck. At all. But kvetching about how the people who do like it have ruined everything doesn't make you cool or edgy. It doesn't make the Homestuck fans stop liking Homestuck. It just makes the fans feel hurt, and it makes you sound like an asshole.

(As an aside, anyone who complaining about the enthusiasm of Homestuck fans makes me exceptionally angry, because complaining about the enthusiasm of *any* fans --especially in relation to creating fanworks, or cosplays, or alternate universes, or art, or stories, or...- is awful. Enthusiasm in fandom is the BEST PART of fandom! All artists should dream of their creations being so thoroughly embraced and modified and built upon and remixed and reacted to and loved. Enthusiasm is passion is the reason we do what we do --and scolding people for being enthusiastic about "the wrong things" makes you a creativity-draining Vampire¹.)

And really, that right there is the golden rule "didn't we learn this in grade school" summation of the problem: When you are a dick about the things you don't like, you hurt the people who DO like those things. Hurting people is pretty universally considered to be "wrong". That's sort of the basis of all human justice, really, don't hurt other people without a really good reason. Them not liking the same things you do, or liking things you don't? Not a good reason, so sorry, you're a jackass.

Now, am I saying you should never legitimately criticize a fandom or character or story? No, of course not. For some people, that's the fun, everything from calling out privilege and explaining why something is hurtful, to MST3King just how plain *bad* the writing is. But here's the thing: You can do all that without saying that the people who DO enjoy the material are bad or wrong people. You don't have to shame the fans to criticize a fandom, and it's perfectly possible to not like things without being a jerk about it. That's okay too.

Too, I am not against criticizing fan behaviour, especially when it becomes dangerous. "I hate Twilight fans who sexually harass Robert Patterson" is a very different statement from "I hate Twilight fans.". "I hate Hetailia fans who think seig heiling is appropriate at an outdoor photoshoot" is a legitimate criticism of a legitimate problem. "I hate Hetalia fans." just makes you sound like a bitter asshole who will shun anyone that doesn't enjoy the exact same entertainments you do.

And as for "I hate Homestuck fans with no sense of personal space, who think it's appropriate to violently tackle-hug or glomp cosplayers they've never met" ....well, I hate them too. That shit is toxic, and needs to stop right now. But if you're using "I hate Homestuck fans" to mean the same thing, you are punishing and shaming a huge number of people for the sins of a few.

Not all fans are assholes. That's true of basically EVERY fandom out there. You can enjoy something passionately, enthusiastically, LOUDLY, without being a jerk about it. Catching those worthwhile, mature, fans in the crossfire of your "all those fans suck" just makes a lot of good people feel bad.

Be the joy you want to see in the world, okay? Stop making people feel bad for liking things. (and don't make them feel bad for NOT liking things either, okay²?)

It's okay to not like things.
Just don't be a jerk about it.

<>Sor
MOOP!

PostScript: Ria, I wrote this whole thing on the back of six recipts at work. I am going to kill you for how bad my hand hurts right now.

1: Listen carefully. A vampire is any person, or thought, or feeling that stands between you and your creative self-expression.

Oh baby, you must escape, then grab it by the nape of its neck, by the trachea. Fucking break it, go on drive a stake in yeah, there's no mistaking now you're shake'n'bake'n!

Then die the vampires filling you with life, creativity, all that your art should be OUT go the vampires, die vampire die. --Die Vampire Die, [Title of Show]

"Vampire" in the sense that [Title of Show] explains it, is one of the darkest insults I can ever throw at someone. If you are keeping someone from creating, then you have failed at some of the most basic aspects of humanity.

2: ...says the person who has gotten SO MUCH shit for not having read through and enjoyed The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Just not my thing, okay?

ETA 19Aug: I'm gonna make this a toppost for the month, so that I can find it real quick. I'm also going to update it occasionally, with the most recent list of things I plan or need to do.

So, guys. I'm going to Dragon*Con. For the first time ever, zohmygod!

I hear it's really really big and scary there, and that there's several billion things to do that I would like to do. So I'm not definitely sure what on earth I'm going to be doing (besides hiding in a corner).

THINGS I KNOW I AM DOING, HOWEVER!:

• I know I'm doing the live action Dr. Horrible show --I'll be one of the random extras running about, woooo! This takes out Thursday (rehersal) and Friday nights (show, and you should totes come!), though of course I'll be around after it ends.



• I am almost certainly attending-or-walking-in the parade, because I think my mother will kill me if I don't. Soyeah. Details to come. NTS, talk to Paula about borrowing a dress for being Queen Elizabeth possibly.



• My late nights/early mornings/not so early mornings are very plausibly going to involve being dragged to various and sundry parties by Sparr. I have no idea.



• I insist, insist, fucking INSIST on hanging out with zaphod_groupie for at least ten minutes, somewhere along the way. She's only been my older sister since 2005 or something, I really ought to actually meet her.



• And on a related note, her Gabity-Gabe is I believe gonna be at D*C, and I should give him hugs, which I'm sure I've promised to him at least once.



• So, I mentioned that I was gonna be at D*C in rm's journal, and she responded by being excited and telling me that we should hang out. This is basically filling me with a) glee and b) headdeskery over how fangirly I'm being over someone who is, you know. A normal person who I totes want to be when I grow up. So I'm hoping to do some hanging out there.



• Similarly, I might break my "never going to con panels unless I get dragged by a boy¹" rule and show up to some of her panels 'cause they sound cool. Oh! And the director of HorribleTurn is doing a panel, I believe. So that would be rad.



• Costumewise, I'm gonna break out the Daria-goodness for a while, probably tart it up as a Booty Chest girl², possibly bring a "French Cuisine Kills Bunnies"³ sign, run around with mom as a cowboy or Australian girl⁴, and potentially dress up as one or two more secret things



• Blood Drive opens at two on Thursday, which should be after I arrive. I've wanted a Heinlein pin for-ev-er, and before the con actually starts *may* give me time to be well rested and fed beforehand, give blood, and recover some afterwards.



• Oh yeah, dragon*con has Simply Obscene amounts of dancing, doesn't it? Yeah, do that.

Annnnd that's it for "planned" stuff. What HELLS IMPORTANT thing am I missing? And who else is gonna be around and want to hang for food or something?

Also, you know what I will be able to do at DragonCon that I haven't been able to do at ANY CON PRIOR?

My 21-year-old butt will be able to go to ALL the parties. Boo-to-the-fuck-yah!

~Sor
MOOP!

1: This is inadvertent but true --in five years of cons, I've only ever been to two panels --one on Regency men's fashion, which, okay, wasn't *really* being dragged by a boy though Magus was there looking pretty, and one on...um...rope. *coff*.
2: See also, this, and seriously, go watch the third episode of Middleman if you haven't.
3: ...first episode of Middleman. Easy costume, otherwise.
4: See also, Dr. Horrible and HorribleTurn respectively.

ETA: Crap and a half, I left my stripper heels in MA, didn't I? Oh well, I will have a slightly subpar Booty Chest outfit then.

Semi-relatedly, oh dear god, Sheldon has crawled into my head, what do I do what do I do this is so awesome and so terrible all at the same time.

Man, life was so much easier before I had soulbonds¹.

What, like when you were ten?

Yes. Shut up. Your existence will confuse people who haven't been reading my journal for six years.

I think it's actually reasonably clear that I'm a variant of yourself, who you have discussions with regularly.

S: Well of course, who else is going to understand her on the level necessary for true communication.

ARG. YOU. OUT.

S: *pouts*

YOU DON'T POUT. Fucking fanfiction messing with my perceptions of characters, I don't even get to have a normal Sheldon Cooper in my head I have to have this...this variant impostor!

H: Now now then, you've never much objected to me being a work of fandom?

...Musicals are not fandom.

H: Indeed. Is the new boy fuckable?

S: Am I what?!

Hyde: no, Sheldon: OUT, me: stop livejournaling, it is too late for that nonsense and no one is going to understand this entry. Hell, I'm not sure *I* understand this entry. Goodnight!

~Sor
MOOP!

1: Soulbond, noun. Coined (as far as I know) by madamluna. Character stolen from some work of media who lives in your head and chats with you and drinks all your booze.

I list them as a separate concept from Denizens. Unlike Denizens, who can be original characters, soulbonds never are, they're generally stolen, wander around for a few days/weeks, and vanish quietly when their source material stops being quite so much of an obsession. See also Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, Mary Poppins, Zaphod? I guess Zaphod, he was kinda a nomansland between Soulbond and Denizen, the original Hyde (as owned by Luna), and both White and Black spies.

No, this entry is not meant to make sense. Sorry about that. Sometimes I use my livejournal for this sort of faffery.

I should be accomplishing schoolythings, or at least packythings, but instead I'm being led off into tangents by rm's livejournal.

Background is that dramashit¹ hit the fan regarding a con in the SPN fandom. You can go read Rach's journal if you want the details on the mess.

Anywho, nancylebov, who I don't actually know in the slightest, made this comment, which I started to respond to, and realized it was going to get long:

Care to take a crack at rules for photographers? One of my most annoying con memories is of a photographer (large white guy wearing bear ears) who insisted that I stop working (I huckster) and look at him while he took my picture. He kept persisting past a number of refusals.

Or is "Your desire to take a picture does not override other people's desires to do whatever they're doing" plus a few rules about permissions and privacy enough?

Response:

Man, "your desire to take a picture does not override other people's desires to not model for you without recompense or choice, especially without knowing where those pictures will end up." ought to just be one of those common sense rules that people magically get. Of course, common sense isn't and all that, but wouldn't it be nice if it was.

(Said as someone who has both taken a fair number of pictures at cons and who has been asked for pictures at cons)

And I do take a fair number of photos at cons, especially animu ones, where you actually get a majority of everyone dressing up (seriously sci-fi fandom, can we fix this? Because that may just be my favourite part of dealing with the anime fandom³). If I want someone to not move, so I can get a nice, non-blurry photo, I ask them. It's an incredibly simple process, for those who don't get it, I provide a simple walk-through.

• Notice someone in a cool costume.


• Pull out your camera, and politely get their attention. This means you may have to wait a moment if they're in a conversation already with someone else.


• Ask "May I take your picture". Possibly add "I love your costume/that character" or "...for my website/blog/flickr" if it's appropriate.


• Wait for them to say yes. If they say no, thank them for their time, and walk away.


• If they say yes, wait for them to pose, and take a picture, maybe two. Try not to take up the entire hallway, especially if you're somewhere crowded.


• Thank them


• OPTIONAL: offer to show them the photo if you're using digital, offer to send them the photo if you're organized enough to do that, give them a moo-card with your flickr account if that's how you roll.


• Walk away and let them enjoy the rest of their con.

I have done this dozens of times, across multiple cons. It works pretty well, honestly, leaves me feeling happy because I got a nice picture, and generally seems to leave them feeling pretty happy because someone liked the costume they worked hard on. If it's an obscure enough character, sometimes you actually get them *really* excited --this girl started bouncing when I recognized her as Daria, and after I snapped the photo, we hugged (Oh hey, there's another thing you should ask permission for...)

On the occasions when they say no, guess what! It's not the end of the world. It's probably not even you --sometimes people are in a hurry, or chatting with their friends, or something messed up with their costume and they don't want proof, or they can't legally afford to be seen in this costume⁴, or the other half isn't here right now, or whatever. Or maybe it is you, and they think you're a creepster --the best way to make them think you're *not* a creepster is to thank them for their time, and go away. Asking why someone isn't willing to give up THEIR time for YOUR photograph is rude at best. They owe you nothing.

And that's me babbling some about photos at cons. If other people have other thoughts, I'd love to hear them.

~Sor
MOOP!

1: I was having a discussion with zombie_dog about this at NEFFA, namely the fact that I strictly make a difference between drama and just problems, be it in relationships, fandoms, friendsships, what have you. I usually tend to define drama as a strictly bad, and usually unnecessary thing. When something big happens, and lots and lots of discussions and arguments get started, and emotions get heated, that's not necessarily drama (or wank²). When people start acting like morons about it, and attacking each other rather than discussing the issue at hand, then it starts to get dramay.

2: They're a little bit interchangeable for me, but I am trying to break myself of using "wank" and "fuck" as pejoratives, because both wanking and fucking are awesome things, and I don't like the underlying idea that a sex act should be our strongest curse. That being said, this is going even more slowly than the not using "lame" thing, mostly because "fuck" is one of those words I use several dozen times a day, really. It just has a good *feel* to it, much like "cunt" --there is a power in the word that, say, "frell" just doesn't have. Hard syllables versus soft maybe?

3: And believe me, I have many *many* least favourite parts about the anime fandom, mostly in the form of horror stories told to me by future-rooommate distant_flicker.

4: I've been there --anyone who saw me at Arisia knows that I've worn things at cons that I really can't have pictures of me leaking out on, because I will lose my future job. That being said, a lot of casual crowd-shots get taken at cons, and the chances of you being able to control every photo of you is nil --all you can really do is limit the number of posed photos.

OHMAN, and I just remembered the last time I was at Rocky, and dolled up appropriately, this asshole journalist just pointed his camera at me and started to take a photo. I wound up blocking it with my hand, and totally going off on him for not asking permission. He seemed more amused than anything else (haha, look at the overwrought little slutty girl) but I felt better for bitching at him. (And he didn't point the camera at me again at least)

Comment Policy: (Eventually I will stop doing comment policies, but they entertain me): None, actually. I mean, if you go about being all "HURR EVERYONE NEEDS TO STOP FOR MY CAMERA AND ALSO TAKE THEIR CLOTHES OFF BUT ONLY IF THEY'RE A HOT GIRL" I'm gonna seriously reevaluate our friendship, but have at it.

Yay memes.

Name a character from one of my fandoms and I'll give you (a) three facts about them from my personal canon/fanon, (b) a reason he/she sucks, (c) a reason he/she is awesomecakes, (d) five things that never happened to that character or (e) five people that character never fell in love with and why. You pick the character. I pick the letter(s).

*fandom = either one of my fandoms or one of my original storyworlds. I'm easy.

~Sor
MOOP!