sorcyress: Just a picture of my eye (Me-Eye)
Well...shit.

I just...figured out something reasonably important about myself.

...okay, we're being honest here. A painful and different thing for me, I know.

Its something pretty damn important about myself.

I've known for some time that I don't trust people real well. Probably a good lot of you know that as well --I've certainly bitched about it in some form or another, and if I haven't bitched here, it only means I never posted those rants. But last night, somewhere in between getting lost and getting home, I put it all together, and I think I finally have a pretty comprehensive picture of why.

I don't trust people, because I am dead scared of people leaving me. Or being taken away from me, is probably the slightly more accurate description. This *certainly* fits all but one (two?) of the crushes/relationships I've had in the past...oh...I was gonna just let it be from ninth grade, but then I let myself think back farther, and it reaches to at least fifth.


Reasons, bitching, evidence, history:

Friends )



boys (and girls) )



Moving )



<s>Daddy's Girl</s> )



And one for the future... )


So yeah. There you go. Sor, in a nutshell. A crazy, paranoid, fucked up nutshell.

But at least I've figured out WHY I'm crazy. At least I can figure out someway to do something about it.

Have a good day.

~Katarina

MOOP!
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Right.

I'm still around.
Life is happening.
I am going to Germany in May.
I am going to London in June.
I just finished watching The Breakfast Club.

...I am SO the Basket Case. And I really do think we should watch it at the end of the year for AdComp.

Life is quiet. Although yesterday was awesome. We wound up with something like ten people playing blind tag at the park, and then me and Jeremy and FlipMatt beat each other with sticks. And there was running around and tree climbing and yay!

And after pretty much everyone else had started home, I was lying on the grass with my sword-stick across my chest. Jeremy comes over and steps on it, pushing it into me and lecturing about not being caught vulnerable. I respond by side-sweeping his leg with my arm, and rolling and coming up into a squatting position with the sword-stick in my hands. I have never felt more badass before in my life.

And Dear Veronica: You have given me an epiphany. And yes, I fully realize that it's better for me to know this. But DAMNIT! I *liked* life JUST the way it was.

Stupid epiphanys are never good.

H: You haven't been listening to enough showtunes lately, if you say that.
Why Hyde, I never took you for a Sweeny Todd fan.
*pauses*
*thinks about it*
Alright, yes I did. Nevermind.

Other other stuff:

I still need to post the Chibi-Hyde I drew, but more importantly then that, I need to post the really amazing realistic(ish) self portrait I drew. Because it impresses the HELL out of me.

I think I'm going to go dick around in my room now while listening to Rocky Horror. And yes Hyde, I know I haven't been listening to anything else for days now and it's driving you mad. But it's SO GOOD!

That is all.
~Sor
MOOP!

P.S: Kat: I don't know *why* you chewed on it. It doesn't taste very good.

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sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Katarina Whimsy

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