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A/N: I wrote this ages ago, near the end of January, but haven't gotten around to posting it until now. I have not bothered to time correct it, which is why it is talking about Ohayocon happening in the future. It's still worth reading.
There is a short video on YouTube that manages, in sixteen seconds, to encapsulate an important lesson the vast vocal majority of the internet missed entirely. You should go watch it, but if you haven't the time, I've recreated the entire thing word for word here:
With the exception of the misandrist vocabulary, this right here is maybe the biggest thing fandom --and I mean every single one of them needs to learn, right now. It's okay to not like things as long as you don't act like a jerk about it. So simple. So obvious. And yet...
Recently Ria (my former-future roommate, close friend, and moirail) asked me if I could write a few words on the subject of fandom shaming. The above lesson is the first thing that sprung to mind -the fact that not everybody is going to be into every fandom (or every character or pairing or plot or episode or whatever).
And that's *okay!* People who are into something shouldn't make the people who aren't feel bad. People who aren't into something shouldn't make the people who are feel bad. Because, and I know this is a very complicated idea to wrap your head around, different people enjoy different things. Making ANYONE feel bad about what they do or don't enjoy is just a shitty thing to do.
The specific thing that brought this up was Ria's encountering two different posts on two different social networks in the span of two days, saying pretty much the same thing: "Ugh, I can't believe those terrible immature Homestuck fans are going to have a big presence at Ohayocon, they're ruining our con!"
Now, Ohayocon is something Ria's been looking forward to for a while, in part because she's going to hang out with a bunch of her fellow Homestuck fans who will coo over her brand new Aradia cosplay (which is gonna be so great you guys, she's been working super hard on it and it looks good.) She's also going to indulge in a bunch of geekery and fandom and cosplay that has nothing to do with Homestuck at all, but because of these nasty comments, she's feeling a little shaken --something about spending the entire con sitting in the corner and glowering. This is a terrible plan.
So here we go: Homestuck is big right now. It has lots of fans, and many of these fans are young, or new to fandom, or both. It's one of the current *big things* in the fandom/anime circles. Not everyone likes it...and that's cool, okay? You don't have to like Homestuck. At all. But kvetching about how the people who do like it have ruined everything doesn't make you cool or edgy. It doesn't make the Homestuck fans stop liking Homestuck. It just makes the fans feel hurt, and it makes you sound like an asshole.
(As an aside, anyone who complaining about the enthusiasm of Homestuck fans makes me exceptionally angry, because complaining about the enthusiasm of *any* fans --especially in relation to creating fanworks, or cosplays, or alternate universes, or art, or stories, or...- is awful. Enthusiasm in fandom is the BEST PART of fandom! All artists should dream of their creations being so thoroughly embraced and modified and built upon and remixed and reacted to and loved. Enthusiasm is passion is the reason we do what we do --and scolding people for being enthusiastic about "the wrong things" makes you a creativity-draining Vampire1.)
And really, that right there is the golden rule "didn't we learn this in grade school" summation of the problem: When you are a dick about the things you don't like, you hurt the people who DO like those things. Hurting people is pretty universally considered to be "wrong". That's sort of the basis of all human justice, really, don't hurt other people without a really good reason. Them not liking the same things you do, or liking things you don't? Not a good reason, so sorry, you're a jackass.
Now, am I saying you should never legitimately criticize a fandom or character or story? No, of course not. For some people, that's the fun, everything from calling out privilege and explaining why something is hurtful, to MST3King just how plain *bad* the writing is. But here's the thing: You can do all that without saying that the people who DO enjoy the material are bad or wrong people. You don't have to shame the fans to criticize a fandom, and it's perfectly possible to not like things without being a jerk about it. That's okay too.
Too, I am not against criticizing fan behaviour, especially when it becomes dangerous. "I hate Twilight fans who sexually harass Robert Patterson" is a very different statement from "I hate Twilight fans.". "I hate Hetailia fans who think seig heiling is appropriate at an outdoor photoshoot" is a legitimate criticism of a legitimate problem. "I hate Hetalia fans." just makes you sound like a bitter asshole who will shun anyone that doesn't enjoy the exact same entertainments you do.
And as for "I hate Homestuck fans with no sense of personal space, who think it's appropriate to violently tackle-hug or glomp cosplayers they've never met" ....well, I hate them too. That shit is toxic, and needs to stop right now. But if you're using "I hate Homestuck fans" to mean the same thing, you are punishing and shaming a huge number of people for the sins of a few.
Not all fans are assholes. That's true of basically EVERY fandom out there. You can enjoy something passionately, enthusiastically, LOUDLY, without being a jerk about it. Catching those worthwhile, mature, fans in the crossfire of your "all those fans suck" just makes a lot of good people feel bad.
Be the joy you want to see in the world, okay? Stop making people feel bad for liking things. (and don't make them feel bad for NOT liking things either, okay2?)
It's okay to not like things.
Just don't be a jerk about it.
<>Sor
MOOP!
PostScript: Ria, I wrote this whole thing on the back of six recipts at work. I am going to kill you for how bad my hand hurts right now.
1: Listen carefully. A vampire is any person, or thought, or feeling that stands between you and your creative self-expression.
Oh baby, you must escape, then grab it by the nape of its neck, by the trachea. Fucking break it, go on drive a stake in yeah, there's no mistaking now you're shake'n'bake'n!
Then die the vampires filling you with life, creativity, all that your art should be OUT go the vampires, die vampire die. --Die Vampire Die, [Title of Show]
"Vampire" in the sense that [Title of Show] explains it, is one of the darkest insults I can ever throw at someone. If you are keeping someone from creating, then you have failed at some of the most basic aspects of humanity.
2: ...says the person who has gotten SO MUCH shit for not having read through and enjoyed The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Just not my thing, okay?
There is a short video on YouTube that manages, in sixteen seconds, to encapsulate an important lesson the vast vocal majority of the internet missed entirely. You should go watch it, but if you haven't the time, I've recreated the entire thing word for word here:
It's okay to not like things
It's okay
But don't be a dick about it
It's okay to not like things
Don't be a dick about the things you don't like.
With the exception of the misandrist vocabulary, this right here is maybe the biggest thing fandom --and I mean every single one of them needs to learn, right now. It's okay to not like things as long as you don't act like a jerk about it. So simple. So obvious. And yet...
Recently Ria (my former-future roommate, close friend, and moirail) asked me if I could write a few words on the subject of fandom shaming. The above lesson is the first thing that sprung to mind -the fact that not everybody is going to be into every fandom (or every character or pairing or plot or episode or whatever).
And that's *okay!* People who are into something shouldn't make the people who aren't feel bad. People who aren't into something shouldn't make the people who are feel bad. Because, and I know this is a very complicated idea to wrap your head around, different people enjoy different things. Making ANYONE feel bad about what they do or don't enjoy is just a shitty thing to do.
The specific thing that brought this up was Ria's encountering two different posts on two different social networks in the span of two days, saying pretty much the same thing: "Ugh, I can't believe those terrible immature Homestuck fans are going to have a big presence at Ohayocon, they're ruining our con!"
Now, Ohayocon is something Ria's been looking forward to for a while, in part because she's going to hang out with a bunch of her fellow Homestuck fans who will coo over her brand new Aradia cosplay (which is gonna be so great you guys, she's been working super hard on it and it looks good.) She's also going to indulge in a bunch of geekery and fandom and cosplay that has nothing to do with Homestuck at all, but because of these nasty comments, she's feeling a little shaken --something about spending the entire con sitting in the corner and glowering. This is a terrible plan.
So here we go: Homestuck is big right now. It has lots of fans, and many of these fans are young, or new to fandom, or both. It's one of the current *big things* in the fandom/anime circles. Not everyone likes it...and that's cool, okay? You don't have to like Homestuck. At all. But kvetching about how the people who do like it have ruined everything doesn't make you cool or edgy. It doesn't make the Homestuck fans stop liking Homestuck. It just makes the fans feel hurt, and it makes you sound like an asshole.
(As an aside, anyone who complaining about the enthusiasm of Homestuck fans makes me exceptionally angry, because complaining about the enthusiasm of *any* fans --especially in relation to creating fanworks, or cosplays, or alternate universes, or art, or stories, or...- is awful. Enthusiasm in fandom is the BEST PART of fandom! All artists should dream of their creations being so thoroughly embraced and modified and built upon and remixed and reacted to and loved. Enthusiasm is passion is the reason we do what we do --and scolding people for being enthusiastic about "the wrong things" makes you a creativity-draining Vampire1.)
And really, that right there is the golden rule "didn't we learn this in grade school" summation of the problem: When you are a dick about the things you don't like, you hurt the people who DO like those things. Hurting people is pretty universally considered to be "wrong". That's sort of the basis of all human justice, really, don't hurt other people without a really good reason. Them not liking the same things you do, or liking things you don't? Not a good reason, so sorry, you're a jackass.
Now, am I saying you should never legitimately criticize a fandom or character or story? No, of course not. For some people, that's the fun, everything from calling out privilege and explaining why something is hurtful, to MST3King just how plain *bad* the writing is. But here's the thing: You can do all that without saying that the people who DO enjoy the material are bad or wrong people. You don't have to shame the fans to criticize a fandom, and it's perfectly possible to not like things without being a jerk about it. That's okay too.
Too, I am not against criticizing fan behaviour, especially when it becomes dangerous. "I hate Twilight fans who sexually harass Robert Patterson" is a very different statement from "I hate Twilight fans.". "I hate Hetailia fans who think seig heiling is appropriate at an outdoor photoshoot" is a legitimate criticism of a legitimate problem. "I hate Hetalia fans." just makes you sound like a bitter asshole who will shun anyone that doesn't enjoy the exact same entertainments you do.
And as for "I hate Homestuck fans with no sense of personal space, who think it's appropriate to violently tackle-hug or glomp cosplayers they've never met" ....well, I hate them too. That shit is toxic, and needs to stop right now. But if you're using "I hate Homestuck fans" to mean the same thing, you are punishing and shaming a huge number of people for the sins of a few.
Not all fans are assholes. That's true of basically EVERY fandom out there. You can enjoy something passionately, enthusiastically, LOUDLY, without being a jerk about it. Catching those worthwhile, mature, fans in the crossfire of your "all those fans suck" just makes a lot of good people feel bad.
Be the joy you want to see in the world, okay? Stop making people feel bad for liking things. (and don't make them feel bad for NOT liking things either, okay2?)
It's okay to not like things.
Just don't be a jerk about it.
<>Sor
MOOP!
PostScript: Ria, I wrote this whole thing on the back of six recipts at work. I am going to kill you for how bad my hand hurts right now.
1: Listen carefully. A vampire is any person, or thought, or feeling that stands between you and your creative self-expression.
Oh baby, you must escape, then grab it by the nape of its neck, by the trachea. Fucking break it, go on drive a stake in yeah, there's no mistaking now you're shake'n'bake'n!
Then die the vampires filling you with life, creativity, all that your art should be OUT go the vampires, die vampire die. --Die Vampire Die, [Title of Show]
"Vampire" in the sense that [Title of Show] explains it, is one of the darkest insults I can ever throw at someone. If you are keeping someone from creating, then you have failed at some of the most basic aspects of humanity.
2: ...says the person who has gotten SO MUCH shit for not having read through and enjoyed The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Just not my thing, okay?
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