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sorcyressNTS: TW abusive ex, in the comments. <3, futureKat
Disclaimer: This is not meant to be an attack on anyone in specific, or even in general. This is just my general feelings on this topic.
Relationships:
YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE ONE TO BE HAPPY!!!!!!
It seems that everyone and their brother who is NOT in a relationship, feels that they HAVE to be in one. This is NOT TRUE! Sure, it's nice to have that special someone in your life, but it's not essntial to your continued happiness. If the only way your happy is if you're in a devotion relationship with someone, THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU!!
And when I say devotion relationship, I mean most relationships where you have a boyfriend and/or a girlfriend. There is no love in those, especially in the ripe old age of what, 14? 15 or 16? maybe even *gasp* 17? I'm sorry, but you cannot have a true love relationship in high school. All that is there is devotion to the person, and lust. Lots, and lots of stupid-ass lust.
Sorry to shatter any of your dreams, but you have not found true love yet. You are a teenager. A stary-eyed dreamer who belives that you find true love with EVERY new relationship your in, and I'm sorry, but thats NOT SO. True Love is one of the rarest (or is that most rare?) things on the planet, and the chances of ANYONE finding it -especially this young- are a bazillion to one.
No one has to have a SO (Significant Other...I use this term a lot) to be happy. A truly happy person is one who can be entierly stable by themselves, one who can make themselves happy. These rare people, who know exactly who they are and where they stand, know that they don't need an SO, and you shouldn't feel you need one either!
Sure, it's always nice to have that special person, and if you can find someone you're happily devoted to, and them to you, great! However, don't expect it to last. A year, maybe two, but eventually, you're going to graduate (and don't even get me started on people dating people in other grades... *shudder*) and you will most likely go off to different collages, make new friends, and probably start up another one of those little devotion relationships.
Apologies for being terribly cynical and realistic about this. [sarcasm] I hate to have shattered your fragile psyches.[/sarcasm]
Yeah. PPMO, thats all.
~Sorceress/Kat
MOOP!
Original Tags: cloneconvo, sexuality, gendersex, tagged, relationships, rants
-or-
therapywarning, rants,15!sor was a nightmare, gendersex, read-the-comments, relationships, cloneconvo, retrospective
Disclaimer: This is not meant to be an attack on anyone in specific, or even in general. This is just my general feelings on this topic.
Relationships:
YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE ONE TO BE HAPPY!!!!!!
It seems that everyone and their brother who is NOT in a relationship, feels that they HAVE to be in one. This is NOT TRUE! Sure, it's nice to have that special someone in your life, but it's not essntial to your continued happiness. If the only way your happy is if you're in a devotion relationship with someone, THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU!!
And when I say devotion relationship, I mean most relationships where you have a boyfriend and/or a girlfriend. There is no love in those, especially in the ripe old age of what, 14? 15 or 16? maybe even *gasp* 17? I'm sorry, but you cannot have a true love relationship in high school. All that is there is devotion to the person, and lust. Lots, and lots of stupid-ass lust.
Sorry to shatter any of your dreams, but you have not found true love yet. You are a teenager. A stary-eyed dreamer who belives that you find true love with EVERY new relationship your in, and I'm sorry, but thats NOT SO. True Love is one of the rarest (or is that most rare?) things on the planet, and the chances of ANYONE finding it -especially this young- are a bazillion to one.
No one has to have a SO (Significant Other...I use this term a lot) to be happy. A truly happy person is one who can be entierly stable by themselves, one who can make themselves happy. These rare people, who know exactly who they are and where they stand, know that they don't need an SO, and you shouldn't feel you need one either!
Sure, it's always nice to have that special person, and if you can find someone you're happily devoted to, and them to you, great! However, don't expect it to last. A year, maybe two, but eventually, you're going to graduate (and don't even get me started on people dating people in other grades... *shudder*) and you will most likely go off to different collages, make new friends, and probably start up another one of those little devotion relationships.
Apologies for being terribly cynical and realistic about this. [sarcasm] I hate to have shattered your fragile psyches.[/sarcasm]
Yeah. PPMO, thats all.
~Sorceress/Kat
MOOP!
Original Tags: cloneconvo, sexuality, gendersex, tagged, relationships, rants
-or-
therapywarning, rants,15!sor was a nightmare, gendersex, read-the-comments, relationships, cloneconvo, retrospective
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no subject
on 2004-05-29 10:30 am (UTC)For the most part, yes you are right. But that doesn't apply to everyone.
no subject
on 2004-05-29 10:47 am (UTC)You have a good point with the bad families thing, I hadn't thought about that.
~Sorceress
no subject
on 2004-05-29 11:13 am (UTC)no subject
on 2004-05-29 11:43 am (UTC)And some people, they want a relationship just to have that status, not because they really care for the other person, that's what I think the problem is, people don't really care who it is, as long as they are in a relationship. That's wrong.
no subject
on 2004-05-29 11:58 am (UTC)no subject
on 2004-05-29 01:00 pm (UTC)I never expected to marry my high school boyfriends, but I was happy to have them. I *felt* totally *in love* with them at the time. Now like you, I had friends who were dating LONG before I did, and it hurt when they were spending all sorts of time mooning over their boyfriends/girlfriends instead of hanging out with me (or while hanging out with me), but we still had fun together and I didn't begrudge them their S.O.'s.
Now what I really hated back then and well into college in fact were the people who had decided what they wanted from a permanent relationship (virgin til married, no kids until married for 2 years, stuff like that) and then decided to throw it aside for some random S.O. that they had great chemistry with. I'm not saying that everyone has to be a virgin when they're married, or anything. I'm just saying that allowing the powerful "love" drug to alter your plans that were made when you were in a more steady state of mind, is just stupid.
But my dear Sorceress, boys can make you crazy, but they ARE fun to have around!!
Howls and Love,
Mom
no subject
on 2012-05-24 06:50 pm (UTC)I just want to say that this is one of those comments that I've been coming back to over and over for years. It helped me once I started having relationships, and it helps now with being able to be content.
So thanks mom. You give good advice.
~Sor
no subject
on 2004-05-29 02:27 pm (UTC)For example: I have 4 separate families(in no particular order):
I would give all of these people my life if they asked and i know that i can trust all of them with my life if need be (and in the case of camp, i have several times)
This is my definition of "True Love". that people are able to share hope, pain, joy, and sorrow with each other and that they are there for their family to share with. Some "Girlfriends/boyfriends" try to control who their SO can see and talk to; if that ever happened to me, i would prefer to lose whoever it was that was trying to control me.
A portion of the scout oath:
On My Honor:
I promise to do my best...
to help other people at all times
"Former and Always"
Techie Matt
love....*sigh*
on 2004-05-29 04:41 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2004-05-30 01:25 am (UTC)no subject
on 2004-05-30 03:29 pm (UTC)Thank you for being you Thorog.
~Sorceress
Relationships
on 2004-05-30 08:49 am (UTC)Turer words have never been spoken.
There is also nothing wrong with wanting one... it's when you put your life on hold until you find "your other half" that it becomes a problem. Nobody should see themselves as "half a couple". They're a whole person, and that should be enough for anyone.
You shouldn't NEED relationships, you should only WANT them.
(Un)Fortunately, liking yourself and being yourself and being a whole person instead of half a relationship makes you VERY attractive to members of your preferred gender (or so has been my experience)
You are far more intelligent and mature than I was at your age... that's for sure...
Just don't swear off relationships forever, OK? You might find a good one that compliments your life nicely... when you're ready.
Re: Relationships
on 2004-05-30 10:16 am (UTC)It's only because of people like you who tell people like her about life. I know several people who think like this (Not enough, sadly).
Re: Relationships
on 2004-05-31 03:58 pm (UTC)Oh man, I sure hope that I rate in the lists of those people.. Otherwise I'm falling down in my job.
*grin*
Howls...
PS: And she is quite the girl isn't she? I take a rather intense and serious pleasure in watching her flower into the woman she's becoming.. Reflects on me after all, dontchaknow!
(Sorceress' Mom)
Re: Relationships
on 2004-05-31 05:54 pm (UTC)(granted, it says it under EVERY comment pretty much, but still.)
~Kat
Re: Relationships
on 2004-05-30 03:36 pm (UTC)Or rather, I have plenty of interest, I just don't have any plans to act on that interest.
Besides, all the good ones are always either way too old, gay, or impossible to get *grin*
But seriously, I would like to have a steady SO someday, but I'd like to wait until I'm a little older.
~Sorceress
Re: Relationships (post made 2004/5/30 @ 11:36am)
on 2007-05-04 12:23 pm (UTC)I so hope that isn't true. Only devotion and lust? No love? I think love can happen at any age, whether it is long lasting or fleeting doesn't matter.
A truly happy person is one who can be entirely stable by themselves, one who can make themselves happy. These rare people, who know exactly who they are and where they stand, know that they don't need an SO, and you shouldn't feel you need one either!
True! But also not true. A truly happy person can be even happier if they have someone to spend life with. A truly miserable person, who may be miserable for reasons other than not having a significant other, can lose some of their despair/pain/sadness/self hate/cynicism/whatever when they have someone to spend their life with, or at least someone to spend time with.
From the comment above:
Oh, I have no interest in swearing off relationships in any way.
Good! At least for me it seems good.
Besides, all the good ones are always either way too old, gay, or impossible to get *grin*
Glad the way too old thing didn't put you off in the end, though I think age is a state of mind, not body. If I were entirely gay, I think I'd still have fallen in love with you. Alternatively, I guess I might not be one of the "good ones"
But seriously, I would like to have a steady SO someday, but I'd like to wait until I'm a little older.
Yay, and, um, yay!
Sorry, I saw this post while stalking you, my love, and figured I just had to respond. This goes some way to explaining some stuff, though.
no subject
on 2004-05-30 08:18 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2005-06-24 06:26 am (UTC)~V~
no subject
on 2005-07-01 04:16 am (UTC)~Sor
no subject
on 2005-12-03 02:32 am (UTC)Thanks for the reminder. Sometimes I forget.
no subject
on 2006-01-08 07:50 pm (UTC)I also think it's time to write a response to this essay, being who I am today.
~Sor
no subject
on 2006-01-08 09:36 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2006-04-12 08:55 pm (UTC)~Sor
no subject
on 2006-04-21 11:50 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2006-04-23 04:28 pm (UTC)~Sor
no subject
on 2006-05-09 11:46 am (UTC)Or something.