MOOP!

So, badmagic has posted a thing about advice you would give to your 15-year-old-self. This is especially interesting to me, as the difference between 15!me and 16!me is...vast, it seems. Not just the change from heartbreak and an interest in sex, but in terms of anger, of introspection, of impulsive actions, of not just being asexual but antisexual.

It's the difference between being a child and being an adult.

So I started to write advice to my 15!self. This is going by memory --I have the ability to cheat, because I have this livejournal to look at for most of that year, and the BtW file for the three month gap-- and I tried very hard to restrict it to advice that would actively be useful to 15!self --it's all well and good to tell her to meet Sparr earlier and see what happens¹, but not when the opportunity won't even arise for more than two years.

So. Here's what I would have to say if me from six years ago and me from now had a nice sit-down and a chat.

1) Don't worry about not being sexual, but do be gentle to those who are. You don't have to be sexual to be sex positive, and I really do think you'll feel better about things if you stop calling people you care about tramps. Let them enjoy their sins.

2) The relationship you just started will be convoluted and confusing. Do not put as much energy into it as you do. It feels like your heart is breaking, and it probably is, but I promise it gets better. You'll be friends for a while, GOOD friends, and that's important. Even after it disappears, it was important. And I promise, eventually he dumps her, and the words he say will be the sweetest revenge you can imagine.

3) Remember that guy you met at Origins last year? Heh. Everything you dreamed and more, if I didn't change the timestream too badly by telling you all of this. And if I did...pursue his friendship. Keep his friendship, and take care of him. He'll repay you in kind, and that'll be more important than sleeping with him. Sex, as you're well aware, is not everything.

4) You have ADHD. You also have a mild auditory learning disability. This isn't why you're bad at school --you're just an unmotivated dumbass like that-- but this _is_ why you have so much trouble in Ms. H's class. See if she can give you help or advice.

5) In eight or nine months, you're going to realize you're wired to love more than one person at once. It will change things so much to tell you this -dangerously much, in terms of setting you back from being an adult- but never let yourself be forced into monoamory. Ever. Ever. It will only make everyone involved miserable. You will be younger for the experience, but you also won't cry as much.

5a) You're genderqueer by the way. Start working out how to be a boy now.

5b) Figure out a safer way to not be younger for the experience.

6) You will always have Veronica. Always. Keep her as well as you possibly can. Same with Pauli. Give both of them the attention and time they deserve.

7) If you have to wait for a boy, he will eventually be worth it. Every one of them. Even and especially the one who knows there are sparks, and makes you wait, for two and a half agonizing years. Even the one you've been waiting for ever since you made a terrible decision two years from now.

8) Go ahead and fail that class. It hurts, but it means you will get the teacher who changes your life. Let him. Tell him so. And try not to be quite so obvious when you flirt, it's just embarrassing all around.

8a) But seriously, stop being awful at school.

And as that last one doubles as advice to 21!Sor...yeah. We'll leave it at that. In all honesty...I liked myself at 15. I was young, but I've always been too clever by at least five eighths.

What would you tell your 15!self?

~Sor
MOOP!

1: *reads nametag* "Oh! Oh, you're the one my future self told me I should meet! Hello! I'm underage, would you like to be friends? I hear you'll introduce me to interesting things..."

Don't have all that much to write about today². Finished "The Girl who Kicked the Hornet's Nest", meaning I'm officially done the trilogy³. Good books --trying to sift out who has and hasn't read them so I can gossip.

Before I start babbling about the books (and I invite you to add your own thoughts in the comments if you've read them), I do point out that one of the themes of the books is violence against women, especially sexual violence. So, trigger warning for rape, sexual and non-sexual violence, and pedophilia is in effect for this post and comments.

Some things I definitely love about the trilogy(  are spoilery )

I don't really have any other thoughts at the moment. Good read, all three of them, and now I'll have to find something else to read on the train. Recommended. Sometimes violent, though not super overly graphic, though like I said, lots of trigger-happy material. Your thoughts?

~Sor
MOOP!

1: Roughly, I would like to see more characters who are non-white, non-middle/upper class, non-straight, non-Christian, non-abled, non-monoamorous, non-vanilla, non-standard-body-types, non-cis, and/or non-male. Because that's what many real people are like, and it would be satisfying if there were more representations of us in the media.

(And as always, it's perfectly nice when there are relatable, well-written characters who are any or all of the above. None of these traits are inherently a bad thing. But it's also almost sickeningly common, and that disappoints me.)

2: This is in reference to my 750words account, and turned out to be a bitter lie, as I ended just under a thousand. Also, it's been 61 straight days since I missed. Holycrapwow. At any rate, I have many many things to post to LJ, and am probably going to start with a sundries post in a minute, so I can clear out some of the tabs I've got open.

3: By Steig Larsson: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Girl who Played with Fire, and The Girl who Kicked the Hornet's Nest.

Poll answers are screened (ie, only I can see who voted for what) Comments are not (Anyone can see those!)

[Poll #1129507]

'kay, you may return to your ordinary business now. Please don't blast me too hard for forgetting your specific sexuality. :P

~Sor
MOOP!