Poll: relationships and stuff like that

[sorcyress]

Poll answers are screened (ie, only I can see who voted for what) Comments are not (Anyone can see those!)

[Poll #1129507]

'kay, you may return to your ordinary business now. Please don't blast me too hard for forgetting your specific sexuality. :P

~Sor
MOOP!

Comments

[dan4th.livejournal.com]

I think anamorous would be more euphonic. - oh, and you reminded me of the fact that I really want "slutty" to be a legitimate sexual orientation and relationship style. I would also acccept "easily amused" or "physically generous."

[kdsorceress.livejournal.com]

Yeah, anamorous would work better.

Slutty is certainly a valid relationship style, though I'll have to think about the idea of it being an orientation a bit before I can clearly accept that.

Heh. 'physically generous'. See, I'd say that that describes me perfectly, because I am kinda completely a hug/cuddle/touch whore, but I also operate under the idea that I like being a virgin, so it only works in a literal sense...

~Sor

[blaisepascal]

Out of curiosity, what are the benefits you see to being a virgin? i.e., why do you like it?

[kdsorceress.livejournal.com]

*thinks*

...

*thinks more*

(Forgive me, it's been three or four years since I've been really hardcore about the virginity thing, so this comment may be more rambly then most)

Well, first off, from a purely practical standpoint, abstinince and masturbation are the only forms of sex that are proven to be 100% effective at preventing STI's and babies. Yes, you can get close to preventing either, but condoms can still snap, and I can hardly remember to take my Concerta every day, I'd be utter rubbish at remembering to take the Pill.

(Again, I know the chances are slim so long as I'm engaging in safer sex. But I really really really don't want a baby, and I don't know if I could bring myself to have an abortion. That's the sort of thing that can really fuck a girl up, and I'm crazy enough without having to worry about it.)

Secondarily, sex complicates things. I haven't even gotten the hang of polyamorous relationships without sex involved (my last boyfriend and I were mono), I'm really not looking forward to adding that complication to my life yet. I've still got enough of my high school raising to get stupid-jealous of people for no reason, if it's my choice to not have sex with someone, I can be perfectly fine with them going off and stoinking someone else. (provided we've talked it out and our relationship accounts for that) If we're having sex and they go off to have sex with someone else as well, I suspect I'd get somewhat paranoid, no matter what our relationship allowed for, just from the basic "Shit, shit, am I not good enough?" general insecurities.

Tertiarily, again practical, I really really like being able to give blood. The red cross gets really picky about who you can and can't stoink if you want to keep donating, and the people I would be likely to have sex with are likely to be risk factors, or a step away from risk factors. ("Have you ever had sex with a man who has had sex with a man". Yeeeeah.)

Fourthly, I really really don't want to do something I'll wind up regretting. I can't swear I'll regret having sex when I do, but I very much want it to be my choice, and something I've thought through somewhat.

Similarly, I don't believe in throwing things away, including virginity. It's only in the past year or so that I've been able to lift my general scorn towards promiscuity, and I still have an utter lack of respect towards high school girls who sleep around a lot.*

Which brings me into my next point. Fifthly, I'm eighteen. While I haven't technically been jailbait for two years (Age of consent in both Maryland and Massachusetts is 16 for females) I've only been an adult for about six months now. In all honesty, the sort of people who want to have sex with someone who is not legally an adult, are not generally the sort of people who I want to have sex with. Mental age levels can really only fix so much in a relationship, and, like I said, I haven't been doing the 'legal adult' thing for very long.

Sixthly...sex is honestly kinda gross. It's sticky and wet and you want to put *what* *where?!* and yeah. I very much don't read porn, I read erotica, because porn weirds me out.

...Whew! I don't know if that's quite what you were looking for. I may have to turn this comment into a proper entry sometime.

~Sor

*This is interesting because it's very specifically 'high school girls shouldn't sleep around'. I'm perfectly fine with adults getting their groove on, provided they do so with proper communication among all partners and the like.

[thestoryiswrong.livejournal.com]

you know, a lot of those reasons were the same that i had before i was in a serious relationship. there is no reason why you need to have sex if you don't want to. in my first relationship we waited for 2.5 years before we really talked about it. so many people thought we were weird for doing so, but in all honesty, until you are ready, there is no reason to even think about it. you want to be comfortable in the situation you are in and be comfortable with yourself before you can share yourself with someone else in that way.

sex it scary. (admittedly fun, but still scary) my current boyfriend and i were faced with the issue when we decided to become sexually active together, that we had both been with someone other than each other. so i had to go through the whole getting tested for STDs (he did as well). we were both clean because we were very safe with our past partners, but its still a weird thought that you have to check on those things even if you have been with only one other partner.

and yes, sex can be gross sometimes. and it can hurt. especially the first time.

while it isn't my personal choice, i really admire those who choose to abstain from sex. whether it be for religious reasons or otherwise. and in someways i feel that those people are more apt to know who they are because they are comfortable letting people know they they have chosen to make that decision and don't mind being 'different" to some.

i have never regretted my decision to have sex. but i still prefer cuddling over it any day ;).

[thorog.livejournal.com]

Quaternarily?

[dan4th.livejournal.com]

FWIW, there are a lot of days where I feel anamorous and polysexual. If'n that makes any sense.

[marcmagus]

Interesting. There are a lot of days where I feel polyamorous and asexual.

[kdsorceress.livejournal.com]

*nods* Happens to me much more than the inverse as well.

~Sor

[kdsorceress.livejournal.com]

It does make sense, though it's not a situation I can foresee myself being in --I don't tend to get to the point where I just want some commitment-free sex very often (and if I do, I can pretty much take matters into my own hands, as it were. :P)

I think, personally, I'm more likely to be asexual on any given day than anamorous, just because I don't tend to be much of a sexual person.

~Sor

[dan4th.livejournal.com]

I'm sure this is going to sound condescending, but please believe that I don't mean it that way:

At 18, I wasn't either.

[kdsorceress.livejournal.com]

Psh, no worries re: condescending thing. I'm not inclined to get annoyed at you until and unless you stop treating me like an adult. Reminding me that I'm young won't do it --I know perfectly well that everyone I hang out with was once my age.

~Sor

[jarne.livejournal.com]

Shit, she's on to my time traveling ways!

[madbodger.livejournal.com]

I'm all about the cuddles too (my outré reputation aside)!

[harena.livejournal.com]

i am going to try to drag W kicking & screaming into doing this poll because i feel it is Important. What with the gender/sex/needlessly complicated things in W's head.

. o O (ohyes, notable lack of gender pronoun. yar.)

poll taken, sir.

[woozle.livejournal.com]

It's not a pretty sight.

(Can I go and live in a computer now? Pleeez? [insert lolcat image with extra patheticness])

Re: poll taken, sir.

[kdsorceress.livejournal.com]

*leaves you hugs*

You certainly may. Computers are an easy way to deal with the world, methinks.

~Sor

[kdsorceress.livejournal.com]

Huh, I didn't know the lack of a gender pronoun thing.

Methinks I eventually need to have the somewhat awkward "so, tell me everything!" conversation with Woozle sometime.

~Sor

[harena.livejournal.com]

You do! And, heh, don't worry about being awkward; W's likely to be awkward as well.

(after seeing this comment there went an exchange that went something like this:

H: i'm just going to sit over here & say I Told You So.
W: you are so sneaky!
H: what me? sneaky? by dragging you kicking & screaming over to respond to comment when you din't feel like it? That's hardly subtle.
W: Well, you were subtly dragging me kicking and screaming! ...Anyway, subtle is Something Completely Different from Sneaky.
H: yes, i was stealthly helping you stalk someone else!
W: *laughs nervously* (but not at all in a stalker-ish kind of way, no, not even slightly! nope! >.>)
H: and see? i told you that Sor would be interested in your responses. Silly Woozle.

oslt)

[swingerzetta.livejournal.com]

You did a good job including most of the options people might choose! Not everyone is even aware that such options Exist!

[kdsorceress.livejournal.com]

I'm actually now slightly upset that I didn't have "myself" as an option for who you're attracted to, because that would be pretty much awesome. Although, I think that 'Awesome People' suffices to describe you, dah-ling

(I thought briefly about putting "Sorcy!" as one of the options, but eventually decided against it)

~Sor

[(Anonymous)]

Trying to find the "Relationships?!? *runs away screaming and/or hides in corner*" option...

(To match my new "scream" icon)