Well...shit.
I just...figured out something reasonably important about myself.
...okay, we're being honest here. A painful and different thing for me, I know.
Its something pretty damn important about myself.
I've known for some time that I don't trust people real well. Probably a good lot of you know that as well --I've certainly bitched about it in some form or another, and if I haven't bitched here, it only means I never posted those rants. But last night, somewhere in between getting lost and getting home, I put it all together, and I think I finally have a pretty comprehensive picture of why.
I don't trust people, because I am dead scared of people leaving me. Or being taken away from me, is probably the slightly more accurate description. This *certainly* fits all but one (two?) of the crushes/relationships I've had in the past...oh...I was gonna just let it be from ninth grade, but then I let myself think back farther, and it reaches to at least fifth.
Reasons, bitching, evidence, history:
( Friends )
( boys (and girls) )
( Moving )
( <s>Daddy's Girl</s> )
( And one for the future... )
So yeah. There you go. Sor, in a nutshell. A crazy, paranoid, fucked up nutshell.
But at least I've figured out WHY I'm crazy. At least I can figure out someway to do something about it.
Have a good day.
~Katarina
MOOP!
I just...figured out something reasonably important about myself.
...okay, we're being honest here. A painful and different thing for me, I know.
Its something pretty damn important about myself.
I've known for some time that I don't trust people real well. Probably a good lot of you know that as well --I've certainly bitched about it in some form or another, and if I haven't bitched here, it only means I never posted those rants. But last night, somewhere in between getting lost and getting home, I put it all together, and I think I finally have a pretty comprehensive picture of why.
I don't trust people, because I am dead scared of people leaving me. Or being taken away from me, is probably the slightly more accurate description. This *certainly* fits all but one (two?) of the crushes/relationships I've had in the past...oh...I was gonna just let it be from ninth grade, but then I let myself think back farther, and it reaches to at least fifth.
Reasons, bitching, evidence, history:
( Friends )
( boys (and girls) )
( Moving )
( <s>Daddy's Girl</s> )
( And one for the future... )
So yeah. There you go. Sor, in a nutshell. A crazy, paranoid, fucked up nutshell.
But at least I've figured out WHY I'm crazy. At least I can figure out someway to do something about it.
Have a good day.
~Katarina
MOOP!