MOOP!

So, Livejournal has had a truly massive password breach, from 2014. If you had a livejournal before that, it is now possible to obtain a file that has all the passwords, in plaintext, with the usernames and emails they are associated with. More information at Squirrelitude's excellent post.

( Rambling about identities below the cut )

***

As far as you know, I only have one dreamwidth. It does, after all, make the difference between access and reading so much better.

But it's nice to know that the option could be there again.

~Sor
MOOP!

PostScript: Consider this to be me explicitly revoking consent for you to intentionally go and try and find any of my journals or identities using this breach. Do not do that, I will not think better of you if I find out, and if you feel inclined to do something like that, I can find better friends to spend time on.

1: Which I'm not telling you because it was also the secret hack to finding "all" of someone else's journals, and that's that person's business.

2: Do you know the name of the only voice channel on my Discord server? Of course you don't! It's set with permissions such that I am the only person allowed in there! Why? Because I am crazy³, and the ways in which I manage that are sometimes very strange.

3: I use this non-pejoratively, but it is the correct word. Sometimes my brain works very very poorly, or oddly, and I am driven to do things that likely don't make sense to anyone else, but I can feel some sense of ritual around them that makes it work for me. Anyways, it's named for the place I go when I cry during bells, and that's enough said about that.

4: Melody, my new little machine, has version 4.0 sitting on her desktop, just quietly available should I need it. Keladry was 3.0, Vera was 2.1, Seren was 2.0, and Dmitri Alexander II had the first BehindtheWalls file, started in February of 2005 because things were _much_ and even if I wasn't posting in my journal, I still needed to write.

...holy fuck, I've been using the term "Behind the Walls" for literally half my life now. Dang. That is...a lot.

Although, apparently early in the morning I'm either more tactful, or too tired to be angry at people.

Yeah. Sor is up at three in the god's be damned morning. Rather against her will, I'm afraid.

Being a girl BITES! You boys don't realize how lucky you have it.

On the plus side, it is post Balticon, so my body can behave itself ocassionally. How much you wanna bet I start bleeding as soon as I get into London? Please don't answer that -I'm an optimist. I'd like to *pretend* the odds are in my favour, even if they're not.

Seven girls and four adults, half of whom will be PMSing at one point or another, I suspect. Oh dear Lord, I've signed onto a nightmare. Blah.

You know what sucks? Finding midol and taking hot baths and roaming around have waken me up, not to mention google-serching how to make a hot pad out of things I might have in my pantry (thus far unsucessful)

Oh wait, apparently rice works. Hmmm, does anyone know if plastic baggies explode if you put them in the nukerwave? Maybe I should find a dicebag. Let's go see if we can wrangle one of those.

Oh right, and the above sucks because I really, REALLY can't justify going back to sleep. Hear me out on this one before you give me your dissaproving looks, mom. If I go back to sleep at this point, I will be impossible to wake up, and fairly groggy and tired. If I make the push, however, and just stay awake until school and then do a regular day, I will end up tiredish at the end of it, but I'll be awake and presumably ready when Veronica shows up. A unique and interesting concept, I know.

I wanna try polyphasic sleep. Except it'd be virtually impossible for me to pull off, what with SCHOOL and not being able to sleep in the middle of that. I'd try it during the summer, but it'd be a bitch to have to readapt to monophasic when school started again, and I don't think I could pull it off in London. (Scratch that...I know I couldn't pull it off London-side) So if I was going to flirt with the idea, I'd have to start whenever it is I start college.

Which is not going to be soon.

Should I be turning this into two entries? Probably, but in all truth I don't care. It's amazing about how much I don't care about things right now. Early morning is a very selfish time.

Midol is the best invention in the world, however. Also, it is impressive how much more awake one feels when one gets dressed in real clothes. Nightgowns are nice, but have that whole restful quality to them. Real clothes are much better.

I wonder how I'm going to explain awake to Dad. Mum will be easy enough to deal with, until she reads this entry (And I'm far too lazy to make an 'everyone but my mother' filter) but dad is not used to having strange teenagers be in his house. Well, awake in his house. Especially not me.

I should go work on my lovely little Balticon report. All manner of stuff has made it in there, and mek is going to kill me, but that's ok. I can ressurect myself, that's the fun thing about being a sorceress.

I will go ahead and say that favorite people of the weekend (Besides Larry and Sue for bringing me --THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!) are probably marcmagus and jannyblue. Mostly because I really wasn't expecting either of them, and they both pleased me no end pretty much just by existing. So yay for them.

Ooo, internet's working. I should go investigate finding that thing. Yeah. *waves hand vaguely* I'll tell you lot later, unless I forget, which is entirely likely.

...

...

...

Dude. A three hour stream of conciousness elljay update done when I'm too tired to think very rationally is probably cruel. But wouldn't it be lovely fun? This is why I don't advise asking what I'm thinking at any given moment -I'm odd enough to tell you. And unlike some people, I fund it impossible to turn off my thoughtstream, or even really to limit it. Which leads to babbling, and ocassionally, nervous breakdowns. But that only happened once.

Right, archive trawling. Back shortly.

Oh wow, I didn't say anything NEARLY as embaressing as I expected to in my post-origins report. I must have saved all the swooning for the private journals. Is it possible that little old froshman me knew the first rule of online blogging, namely, always assume that the person who you least want to read anything, will?

Actually, I think she knew it better then I do these days. So, I am just more trusting, or do I have better secrets to share? Maybe I'm fracturing the walls some.

Of course, then something like the recent fiasco with whatshisname occurs, and I go back and add another layer of cement to the top. (And before you ask, no, I do know exactly what whatshisname's name is, I just don't feel like telling *you*. See above notes on assuming that the person you want least to read, is.)

I like my walls. *runs hand over them affectionately* Which apparently I can do, as there now seems to be a rather three dimensional map of my brain in the lounge. That's new.

*looks around*

Her pit seems to have dissapeared as well, which is very very nice. I can definently deal with Her not being lurking so much, and Her recent proximity to Hyde was making me nervous. Even if he's been very quiet lately.

Really, they all have. Maybe it's just that I haven't talked to Aren and the boys in a while -they all florished when I was regularly chatting with her. Although, it tends to be a bit...dramatic therabouts.

'sok, it tends to be a bit dramatic hereabouts, too. Even discounting all the lovely voices in my head, my life is...exciting. Interesting, perhaps. Ah, a Shin'a'in curse, "May your life be interesting." Provided I'm remembering right, of course.

...did I spell that right? *Googles*

Oo, I did! Ha, shows that my lovely Myste Lackey obsession hasn't COMPLETELY died out. I should reread some of those again, especially the ones I've only ever read once.

You know what are fun? Nancy buttons, which are rather too pretty, and damn they STOLE MY MIND! (Not to mention far too much of my money) I'm currently wearing my "sneak sneak sneak sneak sneak sneak sneak POUNCE!" and my "Free Hugs" buttons, because they're still attached to my hat. I should probably DETACH all the other ones that are living on my piratecoat or my bag, but meh. Too lazy. Plus, the dangers of the internets (ie, people I enjoy chatting with) have stolen my brain again. Curse them all!

Well, actually don't. I do, after all, rather like both mek and Marc, and them being cursed is bad.

I'm going to go work on my conreport some. Mostly because I'm now rational enough to do so.

*isback* Not that it really matters on elljay, it's all sort of blendy and timeless. It's almost like a time machine!

I should go out and watch the sunrise. I don't think it's started yet though, so I can't. I should at least keep track of it though.

Talking to people is most excellent. I like people. Of course, I can't talk to people AND have a thoughtstream going at the same time, so yeah. Or rather, I can, I just can't write it down.

Oh wow, y'know what I haven't done in a while? I haven't trawled the What's New page at Snopes in a while. Back shortly...

Well, not shortly. And carp, I missed the sunrise. Bah.

I should go start getting ready for school. Shoes, and whatnot. See you cats and kittens later!

~Sor
MOOP!

NTS: TW abusive ex, in the comments. <3, futureKat

***

I've changed a lot. In the past months, the past year, the past decade.

I've been alive almost a decade and a half haven't I. God thats a scary thought.

But I've changed a lot. Especially in the past year, the past two years, the past three or four years.

Sixth grade I was a total fuck-up. I was incredibly depressed, I was pretty sure everyone hated me, and I hated my life with a screaming passion. I thought about suicide a lot. My diary from the time...scary. As scary as it's ever been for me.

Seventh grade I had pretty much stabled out. I was doing better with my life, and I began to turn into myself.

Eighth grade, I was...me. I was cheerful and perky. I had just began to get into the internet in the second half of eight grade, and I was...unlike I am now. I have all of two diary entries from when I was in seventh, both pointless, and one from eighth. I was much more romantic back then.

Ninth grade I started as a screwball. I had become much more vulgar, and much more of an internet nerd. And I was very vulgar. I figured this out in October, adn I began to force-change myself. Veronica blames Sluggy.net, and yes...they have changed me. But in a good way. Not bad. I changed into a hopeless romantic. And I began to write in my diary again. I filled half my diary in three or four months, mostly mooning over guys. And talking to RAKA. I'm not sure when they appeared, but they did, and I talked to them. They talked back.

But I've lost them now. I'm not sure I care though. They just left me, peacefully. leaving me alone in my head in teh first time for a while. And their leaving...changed me.

They left when I became independent. When I became someone who could stand on her own feet, deal with her own mind, and was...practical. Realistic. Different.

Instead of gentle arguing, I philisophise. And I use this as my diary now. Granted, I have a new one, but it's not my diary. This is. My Livejournal. It's an open diary for anyone to read, but I don't care. I have nothing left to hide anymore.

Crushes? I haven't got one. I have no romantic love in my heart.

Secrets? What secrets? I'm open about most things. And the rest...are things I wouldn't write in a diary anyway, no matter how protected.

Emotions? I try to avoid writing in anger, or hatred, or fear. Negitivity. I've always locked my emotions. There are signs of course. If I start crying over something that would normally just be a small annoyance, you can tell theres something going on. And when I walk...if I'm running my nails along the wall, I'm probably not particularily happy at the moment.

I've changed a lot, like I said. I've become more cynical. More realistic. And much more anti-social. Sure, I like parties, and seeing my friends and hanging out. But only to an extent.

I've been trying to make it so my emotional stability rests on my sholders and mine alone. Too often recently it's seemed that I can be happy if I see ______ or my day will get better once I talk to ______. I don't like that though. It makes me too vernurable.

I think I'm finally getting to be someone I like again. For too long I wasn't. And that was bad.

I dunno. *sighs*

~Sorceress/Kat

MOOP!

Original Tags: unofficialxyears, i-write-good-shit: personal, sluggy.net, v, growing up, tagged, thoughtstream, nosce te ipsum, rlife, denizens, sorcy-is-pretentious
or
sluggy.net, raka, therapywarning, selfhate, read-the-sorkin-manual, retrospective