MOOP!

A/N: I figure that it's worth putting half the con report in its own post, because, well, it was trivially easy to write over 2k words about one band. Anywho, all track titles and album names within this post *should* link. You're welcome.

The entire reason¹ I went to faerie fest was SJ Tucker. She was there with her band Tricky Pixie, which is made of fucking incredible musicians. Having bought all² of SJ's cds, I have been forced to spread out my "here take my money" urges and buy amazing fiddle and cello music from the rest of Tricky Pixie. OH NO. OH WOE. THIS IS TERRIBLE. *staples hand to forehead*

ANYways, pretty much the very first thing I did when I had a schedule put into my hands was figure out when and where Tricky Pixie was playing. They had three concerts, one for each day, and those became the linchpins for the entire rest of my schedule.

Now, here is a fact about SJ Tucker: I cry like a fucking waterfall when I experience her live. Not just the sad stuff. Not just the stuff I have a history with. Everything. I had weird tearing-up at the sound check. It is what it is. It is a thing to do with power and divinity and the intersection of music and prayer.

BUT

Sometime around 2005 or 6, my clone named me Sor, Demigoddess of Dance. It is a title that has only become more accurate with time. If I must confront a Goddess in her Glory, it's a hell of a lot easier to do it from the centre of my own power. So I can sit and listen to her sing and I can sob.

Or I can dance.

And just like any other time that's one of the options, it's not even really a choice. I listened to exactly one song from a sitting position (Mushroom Song) before my brain kicked in, no Sor, this is stupid, get on your fucking feet and move-cast-pray-DANCE.

(Are you cock of the walk when you're walking alone?)⁴

I danced in the sunshine and I danced in the rain and I danced in the ashes of a bonfire to avoid dancing in the mud. I did actually dance in the mud as well, and only slipped about three times. Caught myself every time too, which I find honestly shocking --I am not joking when I call this kind of dance "flail like a fool". My dance involves a lot of movement and a lot of flight and at least a little bit of Highland fling steps. None of those are exactly wise to do on a dancefloor coated with slippery river clay.

The sets were so good. ( Notables include: )

Whew. There were a few other songs in there, mostly Betsy and AJA's that I don't know as well. I danced to allllllll of them. I danced to the sound checks on Saturday and Sunday. I danced to "okay so the band is busy setting up and putting on their makeup" (although that was usually just a footing test)

And I did one thing every day that scared me⁷. Because damnit, I am a powerful creature in my own right (see aforementioned Demigoddess of Dance discussion above) and more importantly, I have *wiles* and if I can work 'em on Tailsteak so thoroughly he becomes one of my best friends, I can certainly work them in a very mild fashion on s00j such that I can talk to her without feeling like an idiot.

No, but really, it is not tenable to have people in my life who I cannot interact with. It's frustrating and annoying and that's before you get into that other part⁸. So, you know, there's striking a balance between being friendly and fangirlish/clingy, and I suspect I stayed on the correct side of it? We'll see.

I made a point of stopping by the table and having nice conversation each day. As mentioned, I got my disc of Sirens signed (yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyY!), as well as a couple of...other things *waggles eyebrows cryptically towards someone who almost certainly is not reading this*. I asked for a selfie last day of fest (and she said yes and ohmygosh and I should put that on Twitter) and wound up asking if she'd be willing to take a photo of me wearing awesome clothes on Saturday (I'll tell that story more in the proper con report.)

And she gave me a hug right away on Friday, after dancing, before I even was able to mention that I had a hug for her from K. She liked that I was dancing a lot, squee!

SJ Tucker is a genuinely kind and wonderful and magical and awesome artist. Support her music, so she can keep making it.

~Sor
MOOP!

1: Okay, so, strictly speaking, 85% was s00j, 10% was general "I wanna go to a faerie fest", and a pretty person was the remaining 5%. But said pretty did not wind up going, so their percentage can be directed back towards SJ. Is all good.

2: okay, again strictly speaking, this is not entirely accurate. I haven't gotten around to buying most of her singles yet, nor the audio-book-Cat-Valente stuff, nor the soundtrack she did for Ember Days. THAT BEING SAID, I own seven of her albums legitimately (two of which I have bought twice³) and one illegitimately (Brenton bought Mythcreants back when we were dating, and we swapped digital copies like the dirty pirates we are. I will for-reals buy Mythcreants sometime soon (money willing), 'specially for all the weird Mushroom Song did to me at NYFF.

So yes, I certainly have more s00j CDs than any other artist. I mean, part of that is Vienna Teng's only put out 5 albums so far, so it's not a totally fair race, but yeah.

Also, I am still technically waiting for my copies of Wonders and Blessings to arrive in the mail, but you know the awesome thing about Bandcamp? I can download the mp3s immediately, and then the mail can take as long as it needs to get to me.

Oh, and I guess I never actually bought Sirens, it was a gift. But that's okay, I have a physical copy and now it is signnnnned!

3: She released Stolen Season in unmastered form a couple months before it actually came out. Uh, yes please! As for Mischief, she was out of physical copies at the Balticon I first heard Cheshire Kitten, so I basically gave her money and had Bethany send me a complete set of the tracks. I couldn't stand not actually having it though, so I bought a copy of the CD for myself this weekend.

4: *begins cackling* So this is a thing now. I'll have to make a tag for it or something so I can find all the other pieces.

5: Mischief is also my favourite. As is Sirens. This is acceptable to me.

6: (k). Hands up if you get the reference.

7: I mean, I'm not always sure this is great advice, but it certainly makes my life more interesting.

8: I've left enough clues, *you* figure out why it might be relevant to my life to get along well with s00j.

?: Did you notice?

Four and a half years ago, I was engaging in a mindless little elljay survey "What have you done" sort of life experience thing.

One of the items was "Seen Tori Amos perform live". I was fifteen. I was not especially pop culture savvy. I responded with "Who?"

A few days later, ShadowKevin wrote a post about picking battles, which touched on my offhand answer. He had chosen not to fight that fight, figuring it was ridiculous to force Highly Important Music on the snarky fifteen year old. What he essentially said (either there or in other posts) was that you couldn't force Tori on people. She had to be Found.

He said some other stuff, but what I took away from all of it was that Tori Amos had music that was strong and sad and beautiful and full of cope, and eventually, I would be at a point in my life where I would need her, and at that point I would go find her.

I've held that in the back of my mind for the last four and a half years. I've figured out who exactly Tori is, and what she's for, and yes, I've managed to fall just a little bit in love with her -after I read her introduction to the Sandman comic "Death: The High Cost of Living".

But I've never heard her music. I've never made that effort to Find her, perhaps because I've never needed to Find her. It's not that I've never felt sad and scared and empty and lone, or that I've never needed music to protect me when I'm in that zone. It's just that, I think, I've fond my own safety nets for when that happens.

I've nothing against Tori. I'd be perfectly happy to put her in my "Sad Girls with Pretty Voices" playlist, which is pretty much what I need when I'm in that bad place. But when I cry, when I truly need the music to protect me, I'm first gonna turn to the old protections, the old comforts, those made strong by a year or more of already spilled tears. I've never Needed Tori, because at all those points where I really would, I had someone else to catch me.

---

She didn't play "The Tower"
And she didn't play "Lullaby for a Stormy Night"

But she did play "Harbor", which was my first, and she did play "City Hall", which makes me cry with the beauty and the sadness of it all, and she did play "Gravity" and she did play lots of new and beautiful songs and wrapped me up in her music and her voice. And so, for a few hours, in the real world (and not just in my head) I was safe.

I saw Vienna Teng yesterday last the other week. Vienna, who has held me through tearstorms and panic attacks, who has let me dance my way back into stability, who's words have wrapped themselves 'round my arms and through my mind. Vienna, who above and beyond anything else she makes me feel, makes me feel incredibly perfectly safe,

Vienna Teng who is my Tori Amos.

---

And who knows. Maybe there's still time for my brain to break in just the right fashion so that Tori is the only thing I need. I wouldn't mind that. And maybe I'll just find her anyways, where I don't need her at all but am perfectly happy to add her songs to my collection. In the meantime, when I'm broken, and need my music to heal me...I have my resources.

I have Vienna. And that may be all I need.

~Sor
MOOP!

So, shtuff.

Just recently got back from the Coffeehouse. It was quite enjoyable -several very loud rocktype bands (With drummers...drool!) and whatnot. I love live rockymusic, it's *fun*.

Also got to preform my monologue of alliterative doom for the second time, in front of a bigger audience, and one less inclined to naturally like me. I preformed offmike, which was good of me, and apparently had forgotten that I *really* like acting. Sigh.

Alsoalso...I'm out. Nowait, I know! Look at what I made in school today!!

(((And you get some *strange* looks when you carry a dodecahedron twice as big as your head around school. It was fun!)))

Alsoalsoalso, I am getting Much better at braiding peoples hair. That there is a fourstrand braid I did on Becky. Is it not excellent?

Yeah, now I'm really out. More babblings later, I suppose.

~Sor

I went to my first High School concert today. It was really fun. There was lots of dancing, and hanging out with friends. The preformers were Paul Reed Smith (a big name gutair maker) and his band.

Personally, I didn't find it as satisfiying as my first high school party, even though I hung out with many of the same people (Matt, Ty, Beth, Josie, Veronica...)

My first party was the cast party for the Princess Bride and that RULED!

Pointles, pointless, pointless!

~Sorceress

MOOP!

Original Tags: music, v, unfiled people-lrhs, rlife, tagged