MOOP!

How to study like a Sorcyress:

0200 hours: Do the take-home problem for maths, yay take-home, being really really careful to follow the instructions in the book, essentially just rewriting what the book says and subbing in the appropriate numbers

0315 hours: *finish, plug numbers into calculator to check*

0316 hours: Swear. Swear like Samuel L. Jackson on a motherfucking plane full of motherfucking snakes.

0317 hours: Get distracted by a really big bug. No, I mean this fucker was like two inches long and had too many legs. And it crawled out from under the bed I am leaning on, meaning there might be another one and that other one will attack my back. And it might crawl down my pants. Watch nervously as the first one crawls under my backpack. Move backpack, Watch it crawl under a jacket, which is right next to my shoes.

0318 hours: Return to staring in disbelief at the calculator and the fucking three pages of handwriting that comprise the incredible thoroughness that is this problem

0319 hours: Debate whether or not the undefined extra credit bonus is worth doing the whole fucking problem by hand again, even now knowing which parts you can skip, just to get an answer that lines up with what the calculator says this time around.

0320 hours: Decide to check on the bug, move jacket around. The bug is nowhere to be seen. Try really *really* hard not to think about it being behind you and climbing into your pants.

0321 hours: Start inadvertantly tensing every muscle in your lower back in an effort not to shudder uncontrollably.

0322 hours: Turn on computer, ask clone if you should redo it by hand, write a livejournal entry.

0331 hours: Ignore clone saying "no you shouldn't", finish writing entry and post it, and start over on the problem.

ETA:

0400 hours: Finish the problem for the second time, having learned that the inconsistancy was due to one stupid fuck up in the very first calculation made. Decide to kill something. Realize that A) you're not that violent and B) you don't know where the bug went.

0401 hours: Debate how much work you should put into making a sort of cover page for the -now four pages- of notes for this stupid silly problem. You know, to explain to the teacher why exactly it's four pages and not the one and a half it would've taken if you had done it right the first time, or the 3/4 of a page it would've been if you had just used your damn calculator in the first place.

0404 hours: Try not to feel quite so smug about how awesome you feel that this problem is right right right. Know that if you let yourself feel smug, you will have turned out to do somehow the entirely wrong thing.

0405 hours: Realize you are shaking somewhat. Wonder if that's due to the 16 or so fluid ounces of 'Dew you've downed in the last two hours, the fact that you're really quite freezing, or the fact that it's four in the fucking morning

0406 hours: Decide that it's all three. Also that you need to pee.

0407 hours: Learn just how fucking stiff your legs will get if you sit on a hard floor for two hours without moving much. Be annoyed by this fact.

0410 hours: Run through the mental list of everything else you have to do for this exam. Try really hard to ignore the mental list of everything you have to do for the next three exams. Try really really hard to ignore the mental list of everything you have to do in order to get back to Maryland.

0411 hours: Wonder if you can keep yourself from having to go home to Maryland by not actually packing.

0412 hours: Realize that your mom texted you this morning or last night or something being all "call me". Swear.

0413 hours: Go back to that first mental list, the one you're actually letting yourself think about. Free page of notes, studystudy, take-home problem, analysis of data.

0414 hours: Realize that you've only done one of those and that the test is in less than eight hours. Swear. Or laugh hysterically. The two are minorly interchangable.

0415 hours: Declare yourself officially on break for fifteen minutes, stop screwing around on livejournal and let yourself relax, and eat delicious ritz crackers with cheese.

~Sor
MOOP!