MOOP!

(here's what I posted on Facebook)

Hey RSCDS Boston friends! You may have seen a survey in your email about role terminology! I strongly encourage you to fill it out. (If you need a link, send me a message --it's open to anyone who dances SCD in the Boston area, no matter if they are beginners or experts, no matter if they are members of a class or free-range.)

Here's what I wrote in the open field at the end. Consider it my open letter to the Scottish Country Dance community.

***

As a nonbinary person, it has been so disappointing to watch the SCD crowd lag behind other dance forms regarding gender-neutral calling. I continually get misgendered at events, in both explicit (wrong pronouns) and implicit ("you look like you're on the wrong side" --I'm agender, I can't "look" like a man or a woman!) ways. I have been called rude for countering people misgendering me, and it has been made very clear to me by multiple dancers that I am not welcome in this community.

It hurts, so much, to hear people cheer for "men and women" and know that they are cheering against my existence. It hurts to hear people whine about how my identity is "confusing" or to just ignore my buttons and pins and frequent reminders of my pronouns. It hurts to stop bothering to correct people after they misgender me again and again and again because they never listen or change or get it right. It hurts to hear people argue and fight against any suggestion of inclusivity. When I started Scottish dancing, I thought the community would be more loving than that, and it hurts to be disappointed again and again.

But I'm here because I love the dance form. I _love_ Scottish Country Dance. I love the precision, I love the power, I love the action, I love the music, I love the fiddly timing and the joyful abandon. I love it and I am damn good at it: I have put a _lot_ of work into learning How To Do This Thing Well and I don't regret that work because the work itself has been joyful.

And I'm here because I believe we _can_ be better as a community. I do see people trying, and I recognize and appreciate that. There are people -more than one- who will hear the wrong pronoun used for me and _speak up_ on my behalf, so I don't have to always be the one making corrections. There are people who are looking at the things that are exclusionary and saying, out loud, "this is wrong, we shouldn't be like this". There are members of Exec and TMC who are saying "how can we be more publicly and loudly inclusive", there are teachers who are saying "how can I shift my language to be more welcoming", there are dancers who are saying "I don't understand but I'm willing to try".

That's why I'm still here. Because every time I receive another metaphorical slap in the face about how my existence is a burden and I am not worth considering, I remember that there are those here fighting to keep me around. And because I believe there could be those in the future who deserve to have their identities respected as well and I want them to have an easier time of it then I have.

***

On a related note, if you are also tired of waiting for the broader community to make space for us, I am going to be starting a gender-free SCD class in hopefully September. I am waiting on venue details (they're in the process of replacing their floor...) but it will be in the middle of Somerville, not far from the Magoun Sq green-line station and with some parking. Most likely 1st/3rd/5th Thursdays from 7-9pm.
If you want to throw me your email address, I'll send proper details when I'm ready to announce the first class.

~Sor
MOOP!

Content Warning: School shootings

I have to leave the house at 7:30 if I want to get to work on time.

At about 7:15 this morning, I was reading my daily webcomics, and got to today's Something*Positive. It involves Rory, the teenager character who is about to graduate high school. It is about the shootings in Uvalde.

Randy Milholland is a fantastic storyteller, and this is not the first time his comic has made me cry. But this might be the first time his comic has made me break. Sitting in my chair just staring and _sobbing_, one moment of cathartic grief that had been building and not able to feel yet.

And it was 7:20. And I have to leave the house at 7:30 if I want to get to work on time.

***

I did what any red-blooded American would do: I distracted myself out of the immediate moment, stopped feeling things, finished my breakfast and went to work, walking through the doors just a few minutes before the bell. I ran into a coworker and gave them a slightly heavy answer to "how are you" which we both diffused with sarcasm and dripping irony about how everything _must_ be okay because we are here at work.

I am sitting in a classroom where my students will come and learn and laugh with each other and play games and copy each other's notes and do tiktok dances and ask for help and teach each other and practice their language and whine about tests and try to distract me and fidget and be enthusiastic and have brilliant insights and maybe someday get shot. I teach English learners, my classrooms are 80% brown, just like Uvalde so it's not like the cops would give a damn about us either.

Everything is broken.

~Sor
MOOP!

Content Warning: School shootings