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May. 6th, 2021 11:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sorcyressIt's been a long series of _very bad_ brain days, with no end whatsoever in sight. Like, there are individual events I'm excited for, but at this point I'm sorta fucked up enough that I don't think I remember how to be generally functional for the times in between. It's...you know. It's the logical conclusion of over a year of pandemic.
Anyways, today was one of those days in which I realized I'd really _badly_ hit the wall and I attempt to make some positive changes. Or at least, if not proper change, at least try and do a few positive things today? I dunno. I walked a lot, and saw some birds. I took a shower. I actually washed the fucking dishes. Progress is slow but existent. Someday I will do grading again, it's been a while.
One of the biggest problems of the immediate past (which was less of a problem up to like Feb/Mar) is that I've completely abandoned the idea of "sleep", which inevitably is leading to everything else being shittier and harder. Lots and lots of just falling asleep at my laptop at weird angles, which is...not helpful for anyone! Significant amounts of bedtime revenge procrastination, where I decide that eleven thirty at night is an excellent time to open up the SCP project and read a few dozen files (it's not). Sigh. My hope for tonight was absolutely to get to bed on time, I did a social instead, but maybe can reach bed by midnight at least?
The fact that it's been a fairly cold May has not helped. As Rey pointed out, it's getting warm enough during the day that the house-heat isn't running as often, and that's fine...during the day. But then we don't have enough of a cushion, and it honestly feels ludicrous to push the thermostat up as we approach summer. I think I would prefer it if we just had a few more warmer days.
Anywho, I am still alive and to the best of my knowledge have not given anyone Covid, so I'm doing as well as can be expected of anyone. More than that is just extra credit at this point.
~Sor
MOOP!
Anyways, today was one of those days in which I realized I'd really _badly_ hit the wall and I attempt to make some positive changes. Or at least, if not proper change, at least try and do a few positive things today? I dunno. I walked a lot, and saw some birds. I took a shower. I actually washed the fucking dishes. Progress is slow but existent. Someday I will do grading again, it's been a while.
One of the biggest problems of the immediate past (which was less of a problem up to like Feb/Mar) is that I've completely abandoned the idea of "sleep", which inevitably is leading to everything else being shittier and harder. Lots and lots of just falling asleep at my laptop at weird angles, which is...not helpful for anyone! Significant amounts of bedtime revenge procrastination, where I decide that eleven thirty at night is an excellent time to open up the SCP project and read a few dozen files (it's not). Sigh. My hope for tonight was absolutely to get to bed on time, I did a social instead, but maybe can reach bed by midnight at least?
The fact that it's been a fairly cold May has not helped. As Rey pointed out, it's getting warm enough during the day that the house-heat isn't running as often, and that's fine...during the day. But then we don't have enough of a cushion, and it honestly feels ludicrous to push the thermostat up as we approach summer. I think I would prefer it if we just had a few more warmer days.
Anywho, I am still alive and to the best of my knowledge have not given anyone Covid, so I'm doing as well as can be expected of anyone. More than that is just extra credit at this point.
~Sor
MOOP!