(no subject)

[sorcyress]

I've been wondering about this healer thing a lot recently. I've more or less declared myself as a healer, and it makes sense, I don't like fighting and I do like making people happy.

But what happens when I can't? Or worse, what happens when I manage to make someone UNhappy. It just doesn't work for me, and...it hurts. It pisses me off that I screwed up, and then I just withdraw, either physically or mentally.

I don't nessecarily think of myself as a sad person, but sometimes I just ger mentally trashed. I don't hate anyone, I don't think I've ever hated anyone, but some dark nights the demons come to taunt me and they force me into hating them.

But if the demons are part of my own mind, does that mean I hate myself?

I try not. I hope not. But I suppose it's possible. More then the demons, I hate Her, that twisted dark shape always looming, always watching. She doesn't strike often, but when She does, She strikes hard.

And She always has things to strike me with. As long as I have my imperfections (which I will never leave) She will be able to strike me. But I like being imperfect. Perfection is boredom and evil, potraying a face that is closed to the world. Being alone.

So I fight back. Sometimes, I fail. But at least I fought.

And with every healing I acheive, be it myself or another, I get a little closer to being able to heal anyone who needs it.

~Sorceress

MOOP!

P.S: THYLA IS ROCKSOME!!

And So is Llefser. My oldest post is older then your oldest post!! nyah nyah!!

Comments

[llefser.livejournal.com]

You know, Thyla and I have never been seen together. . . .

[quadrophenic86.livejournal.com]

I have photo's that say otherwise.

;)

I wish...

[y2kspy2.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, there will never be a time when you, or I, or anyone will be able to heal everyone else. The worl is going downhill ATM. Its a fact that I've accepted. The manner scale has dropped dramatically. What the younger generation learns is speeding up rapidly. At the rate we are going, we can do nothing but create more and more problems. However, We can always try. Because for every pwerson who actually IS healed, it's one person less who has a high risk of being un-healable in the future.

~Rohan

Re: I wish...

[drama-angel3189.livejournal.com]

that is the truth

~V~

[ms-hecubus.livejournal.com]

Experience will help you to know which battles to fight and which to walk away from. Unfortunately, you'll be wrestling your demons for life. We all do. Some will die and some will stay around. Some new ones will be born and some negatives will be come positive.

You sound like you're doing fine, really.

[kdsorceress.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

~Sor