(no subject)

[sorcyress]

And I write and write, in little circles, for maybe an hour and maybe more.

Do I write anything worth posting? Perhaps it is. Which of course, means it needs to be locked up in my secret safe, held tight where no one else can see it and the only locks are trust.

This journal is a mask, of course, It is my secondary mask, and so very little of my true self gets through. The higher the number of the mask, the closer it is to who I really am.

Real life is my primary mask. This journal is secondary. Other journals are tertiary, and lord, I will use any chance to use that word.

BehindTheWalls is null. BTW is trueself, I think. Maybe. I am not quite sure.

Target gave me a knife when I started working there. I should really give it back.

My brain is all a flutter. My masks are all oh-so-slightly askew, not enough for the casual observer to notice, but those who know me longest and best ask me randomly if everything is alright, if my world is stable.

My world is, always, sable. My world is, never, alright.

Words words words. Hamlet, I believe.

Goodnight, dearests and darlings. Goodnight those I love and those I hate. Goodnight absent friends and present enimies.

~Sorcyress
MOOP!

Comments

[swingerzetta.livejournal.com]

I have often considered the question of "Who am I?" with very little advancement made on the matter. Most people, confronted by this question, will give their names, and maybe profession, but upon closer evaluation, almost everyone realizes that, no, "Cory, the Barista" is not who I am.

I think that eventually, you have to confront the very nature of "Identity", as a function of more than just statistics and records keeping. One's own thoughts, fleeting and instinctive and unpredictable, are often credited as the real person. But I can think different things when I want to, often. An occurance, or a good movie will have me thinking about that instead. If I am happy, I will think of positive things, and if I haven't eaten in a while, I will think of negative things.

How can it be that who I am can be changed by my current blood-sugar levels? Because of this, I suspect thoughts are just things that happen to us. Like blood sugar. I could say that What I am is determined by my physical state, and my physical state determines my mental state. Thoughts are an aspect of What I am. not who.

I had for a long time considered that who I am is the phenomenon that enables me to know I exist, and to watch, so to speak, the world through my eyes and to listen to the sounds and the thoughts that my body experiences. In that sense, "I" would be a sort of conceptual consciousness, you could even call it a spirit, but then the only thing that makes "Me" different from other people is the body I look out of. (this leads to all sorts of interesting theories, but nevermind)

This hardly seems like a good grounds for Identity, considering. So I move to finally consider the things I do, or don't do, and the things I create, or destroy, make me who I am. It is by this logical path that I come to suggest that these masks, your public and your online mask layers, they are as much You as anything out there, as they are your creation.

[harena.livejournal.com]

*steals comment to hide away in a text file on one of my many multitudes of harddrives*

i love it when you wax philosophical even if it does hurt my brain like math ;D

[astaereth.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I'm not trying to be dismissive when I say, you overthink these things. You're one of the best people I know, in every sense of the word "best", and I can never quite fathom how you can start thinking like this.

Also, why did Target give you a knife? Are you to knife robbers? Lazy co-workers?

[kdsorceress.livejournal.com]

Technically, it's a box cutter, for cutting open boxes. Less knife, more razor blade.

~Sor

[thorog.livejournal.com]

My world is, always, sable.

Maybe you should try a new colour.