A brief pointless post about gender

[sorcyress]

I think realizing (and becoming comfortable with the fact that) I'm genderqueer has made it a lot easier for me to be traditionally feminine.

Like, I'm a lot more willing to be excited about cute bras and awesome high heels and the wearing thereof, since it's all just a different kind of drag.

Comments

[grail76]

Great.
A lot of everything is finding how you want to express yourself.

[eftychia]

I think I have to disagree with the title of this entry. (But I'll grant you "brief" and "about gender".)

[sorcyress]

Hee, thank you.

In poking about trying to figure out who you were, I found and read your bio from alt.trans*. Wonderful stuff! I agree with you _a lot_ about the benefits of being out, and I found the whole thing easy and fascinating to read.

Now I'm trying to determine if I have actually met you (I grew up in Maryland, and still attend Balticon, but I'm pretty much a Boston fan now). It's entirely possible you know my mom though --Greykell, who started the dancing part of Three Left Feet, and was active in Markland in the late 70s through late 80s or so.

Yeah. You're cool.

~Sor

[eftychia]

Heh. I didn't look at your profile before commenting (I was reading my DW 'network' page), so this is an entertaining surprise. We've almost certainly passed each other in a hallway at some point, at least, and I do know your mom (though not as well as most of my other friends who know her). I was music director of 3LF for a while (er ... 1990s, more or less?) -- Maugorn has that job now. If you're on FB, does this Darkover photo help?

I'm glad you like that bio ... which, wow, I'm almost twenty years behind on updating. (I guess I should just write something new from scratch and include a link to the old one, instead of screwing that one up, huh?)

I was talking to a friend in Ontario who doesn't identify as T* or GQ but does consider herself nonstandard genderwise ("a conscientious objector to the whole idea of gender", but not exactly 'agender' either, as I understand it), and I mentioned this entry and she agreed that behind your brief, concise observation, there's a whole lot of interesting insight to unpack, both for people it applies to and for everyone else interested in how gender works. And that it's personally useful to her.

[woozle]

I've often imagined that I might find the same thing -- as an occasional thing, almost as a joke (or "with quote marks around it", as Tigger once said), not as a general preference -- if given the opportunity to be cisgendered. (Maybe you're being cisgendered when you're in female mode? I don't know, and I'm not trying to say anything for or against your observation except "this makes intuitive sense to me".)

[sorcyress]

I'm not cisgendered, at all. I am cissexed (cis-chromosomed?) since I have absolutely no qualms about my body and don't want to modify it, but the mental stuff is genderneutral, or genderqueer, or effeminate male. A lot of my internal stuff feels like I think of myself as a guy, but I still use female pronouns most of the time to refer to myself, and honestly, I'm becoming increasingly mellow about the whole thing.

Soyeah.

~Sor

[notyourwendy]

Off topic, but saw this and thought of you: http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/pimp-your-bike-crocheted-skirt-guards-fahrradnetz-jasbeschermer

[mogwit.livejournal.com]

You hit the nail on the head.

A corollary: "Honey, you're born naked. Everything else is drag." - RuPaul

[kdsorceress.livejournal.com]

I really quite like that quote. RuPaul speaks wisdom.

~Sor

[malakhgabriel.livejournal.com]

I recently thought something similar about me and traditional masculinity. I've been fixing cars and building things, things I thought were off limits to "guys like me" for so long. Once I took the "guys" out of the equation I realized I can do that shit too if I want to! It's neat.

[leiacat.livejournal.com]

I definitely think of it as drag when I wear femme stuff. Not that femme stuff I wear is even _that_ femme.