sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (bipolyhorny)
[personal profile] sorcyress
So I counted all the porns, and realized I had sixty-seven. Because I am an immature sort of person, I went ahead and wrote two more. I went ahead and used them to bookend the set, because authors are always allowed to out themselves.

You are all my favourite people forever. In the five years since this project began, I have received more than 250 original, creative, wonderful little stories. This year, some of you cross-posted to other places, invited other people to come in and share. I cannot believe that people keep indulging me in this --surely, one of these years everyone will have run out of things to write?

Thank you all. Author/Editors notes are in italics. Porn is not safe for work or minors. Enjoy, comment, share, and write me more for next year --I'll accept them year round, if you can live with the potential of me losing them in the year between posting.




In the middle of organization
He interrupted
And all thoughts of porn were driven from her mind
By fingers moving fast
And a cock grown stiff with lust.

***

Castle Heterodyne moaned in pleasure at the tentacles penetrating every door and window. It shuddered as they massaged its arc generators. Hogwarts was right: Cephalods were more fun.

Ed: If you haven't read the fanfic that inspired this, uh, google Hogwarts/Giant Squid? It's every bit as weird as you think it is.

***

My friends call me strange, for my disinterest in their relationship follies. But when I get home, I touch myself just right and see no reason for an external lover.

***

use Rope;
use Person;
my @hands = Person->hands();
my @feet = Person->feet();
our $hogtie = Rope->tie(Rope->tie(\@hands),Rope->tie(\@feet));
require Sex;

Ed: And there's another language for me to check off the list...now, anyone want to clue me in which it is?

***

I told my WoW guildmates that my boyfriend eats me out while we're on raids. Now they listen closely to everything I say.

***

Ted Haggard had endorsed Newt for the Presidency. But deep inside, he really wanted Santorum.

(Author's note: This one works much better when said out loud.)

***

"Boots are great for short porn stories." purred Bellatrix. "As long as the actions are unambiguously consensual, like this one, Mistress" replied Harry. Then she kicked him. He liked it.

***

Cleaning out dad's garage is the hardest part, until I find the collection of old Penthouses. Rock hard, I stroke, closer to my father in death than ever in life.

***

She diddled with widdlers, she diddled with boddlers, she diddled with fansoofs and pindalin-oddlers!

***

"You good?"

"Yeah, I just..."

"Already?"

"Sorry..."

He shouldn't be. That is how much he wants me. I'm a cat with a canary.

***

Two words: Kat [lastname].

Ed: I am flattered and amused by this sort of nonsense, and almost disappointed I have to edit it to keep my last name off the web.

***

"You can make up for a lot with enthusiasm." she said.
"Yes." he agreed. "but not bad sex."
Years later, her cherry finally popped, she called him up to disagree.

***

Once a week was all they got together. They talked. Then hugged. Then more. Once a week, just an hour and it was never quite enough.

***

I awoke and thought she was humping my leg. I realized she was just marking me with her scent.

***

He felt the warm, firm hold she still had on him when he came to. She had already left, but she had left behind enough of herself to finish him.

***

"Marylin Monroe's dildo creates an irresistible urge to have sex with the most powerful person nearby, and produces a corresponding urge in that person." "That's why Claudia and Mrs. Frederic...?"

***

He thrust. "Oh Rick! Tell me those magic words!" she screamed.
"I'm never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you!"

Ed: The temptation to post only this one, and give you the rest later was *very* high.

***

I ask him over, he instructs me what to wear. I do not feel like changing, but it's such a small price to pay to hear him call me his.

***

She holds very still. There are clamps, bells. If they ring — bad things.

His fingers dig into her hair. "Now, my little cocksucker," he whispers. "You know what to do."

***

Lying beside me,
One hand brushes lightly
A sigh. Arching. "Tease"
I shift. "Shall I?" "Please"

***

She flared zinc and he felt an overwhelming desire to obey her. After she had her way with him, it was his turn to control. Allomancers have the best sex.

***

He was not just apt at orchestrating a set of dancers. "Centers spread legs, Ends dive in" --all orgies should be so well called.

***

She winked and mock-groaned. "Not tonight, I have a headache."
He grabbed her hair and grinned sadistically. "Sorry babe. Didn't you tell me you enjoy pain in the bedroom?"

***

This is technically an erotic couplet.
I'm going to have sex with you. Uplet.

***

I'm no farmgirl, she protested.
I've never milked anything.
He'd disagree, thinking of how well
she tugged on a thick piece of flesh;
his milk not found on the dairy aisle.

Ed: This might be my favourite from this year, despite being one word too long. I forgive it.

***

He heard her boots clomping down the hall. He looked up. Not the tan leather, or even the black leather, but thigh-high, orange leather boots. This was going to hurt.

***

After every session I dream that I'm having sex with my DnD character. I told the DM, who awarded *me* 50 XP. I might level up by June.

***

Although she knew it was coming, she struggled mightily against his embrace, orgasmic throes mingling with self preservation instinct. Afterwards, consciousness returned slowly as the bliss left and breath returned.

***

Trapped in a bunker, the world ended around them. They made crazy passionate love during their last night on earth. It wasn't; they conceived; a single stray particle changed everything.

***

"I have climbed your mountain, found your cave, found you sleeping on your hoard of gold," I cried, "Let the princess go! I'm way hotter than she is."

***

As she recovered from the latest new perversion he had unleashed upon her, he revealed yet another depraved idea. "Inconceivable" she said. "You keep using that word..." the reply began.

***

Nervously, Amy put on the blindfold. The best and worst part of dating a Weeping Angel was what one had to do whenever one had sex.

***

There is a monster under my bed. I hear it down there, breathing and scrabbling around. It gets off on me masturbating. It whimpers and I can smell its arousal.

***

There is nothing you will do I can't stop with the force of a single "no", and it makes the sharp pain we play with so delicious to my mind.

***

Her tongue laps up my 8lood, following 8ack along the path made sharp by her teeth. A grin in my ear. "YOU T4ST3 L1K3 BLUEBERR1ES." Stupid kismesis. I punch her. ::::D

***

I will glue serifs to my hands and feet, and come to your bed. I will be bold, sub-, and super-script, and tighten our kerning until we form ligatures.

(Author's note: This was begun in the form "If I ___, maybe then you would sleep with me." But that required too many words, and once I read the non-bitter version I liked it much better.)

Ed: Me too <3


***

She had replaced each part of the boots over the millenia. Men groveling at the tanned leather showed that, like the Ship of Theseus, they were still the same boots.

***

Stubble scratching against my cheek. Gasps in my ear. I love him. I love him. He whispers that he wants me. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet.

***

She unwraps herself, like a gift. Tomorrow she'll go back to her normal life, her other boys. Tonight she is entirely his.

***

Tuae mentulae tremulae studeo; cupio tuo lecto, tuae pulpae, tuis basia - es mei seductor.

Ed: This was awesome to watch get edited through multiple revisions, trying to get the Latin just perfect. But the author did not give me a translation! Google provides this one:

Prick your trembling lips, I want your bed, your meat, your kisses - you are my seducer.

If the author wants to send me an e-mail or leave a comment (anon or not), I will update the translation to something more eloquent.

***

He enters. We groan. Is he pushing against me or am I lifting up to him? Like rabbits, we spring apart. "Was that -" "No, doesn't count." Virginity is fluid.

***

She licked the spoon clean, caressing its smooth, polished wooden curves with flicks from her agile pink tongue, and gifted me with a sweet seven minute white icing smile

***

He always used to say that those who fell had to pay the price. But after experiencing what Valjean could do with his tongue, he'd pay any price.

***

Through scan-lines and artifacts: a taut-nippled breast, a pale flank. Soft gasps, accelerating.

A sleek cock paints her face. She smiles to the camera, dripping.

Somewhere, far away, he moans.

***

Yes. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. Yes. No. Yes. Maybe. Yes. No. Yes. No. No. Hell No. Yes. Yes. No. Yes. Yes. No. Huh? No. Yes. Yes. No. Aardvark. Begin...

***

A bibliophile and a writer, the prospect of porn written just for her every day provided ample opportunity to enjoy herself. He kept it coming, so she could too.

***

The twins had grown up working in their father's general store. And now that they were eighteen, I had a *very special* customer service project for them. Hoo hoo!

***

I didn't know she wanted to leave the party until she sat on my lap on the couch and whispered to me, "I took my panties off in the bathroom."

***

This format works well, it's true,
But not any lim'rick will do.
You said you'd like more,
And because I adore,
I'll continue with them just for you.

Ed: Not, it occurs to me, a porn, but a nice lead-in to the next.

***

I deliver with greatest aplomb
this motherfucking limerick bomb.
To produce the girl I adore,
and whom this writing is for,
who must've been fucked? Your mom.

Ed: Because, quote "technically you've only had motherfucking limerick" unquote. Now I can honestly say this contest has brought me motherfucking limericks and I do not even know how to express how great that is.

***

Mistress decided I was winning too much at chess, so she electrified my pieces. Should be happy or worried that she gets ideas from Doctor Who?

***

"Ready for Round Four?" he growled.
"But... my vagina... so sore..." I gasped.
"That's all right." He grinned. "Take five to ice it."

***

A sex robot factory dream job: performing quality assurance. An amazing week running the gamut of depraved acts, punctuated by one scary but exhilarating trip to the machine shop!

***

Ed: As always, I reserve the right to remove ones that I find too disturbing or dubiously consensual. This is one that I find interesting, but know would be triggering to some of you. Feel free to e-mail me if you want to know.

***

Nervously, she helped him put the condom on. Then they fucked, timidly at first and then more excitedly. Afterwards, they both agreed it was better than chocolate.

***

"All your 30 word stories this year are pastiches of earlier stories. I'm disappointed, little toy." The whip came down repeatedly. It wasn't exactly an incentive for creativity in future years.

Ed: This is thirty-one words. I presume the author will submit to their beating in a timely manner.

***

The best thing about having the webpage with the top result for "wordcount" was how much porn people inputed. His cock hardened as he scrolled through that day's entries.

Ed: Upon receiving this one, I wrote to the author and said "I'm charmed, but seriously? It's thirty words! What do you mean you can't count that yourself?

***

Her engorged clit and labia spread wet with boy cum, girl cum, sweat, and kisses, he drizzled her with light honey and began to lick while the waitress watched.

***

She carefully choreographed her performance, video and stills and writing for posterity. The endeavor left her sweaty, sticky, and mussed. She would have to clean up before serving the meal.

***

vidi, vici, veni

Ed: Google suggests "I saw, I conquered, I came"

***

He looks at me. I look at him. I shift my hips. Almost there. Why don't you push? I'm ready to be yours. Enter me. Fuck me.

He waits.

***

Chicken. Chicken chicken, chicken chicken, chicken.

"Chicken chicken chicken," chicken chicken, "chicken chicken, chicken
chicken chicken!"

"Chicken chicken chicken?" chicken chicken. Chicken chicken chicken chicken.

Chicken, chicken chicken.

Chicken.

Author: I thought you might like something in a foreign language. It's a good way for me to stay anonymous, since in English my voice tends to come through in anything I write.

Ed: Staying anon only works if you don't then mention in *your* journal that you wrote me one in Chicken.

Also, Google does not appear to be able to translate things from chicken for me. I apologize.


***

In Out In Out In Out In Out In Out In Out In Out In Out In Out In Out In Out In Jizz! roll over go to sleep.

***

The wind rushed by as they frantically maneuvered from oral to intercourse. Orgasm and terminal velocity coincided. Glancing at his altimeter he suggested they had time for one more round.

***

Lately, my unconscious is nothing but you and I, glorious scandal. When I told you this, you offered to make all my dreams come true. Or was I still asleep?

***

"See this paddle?" she asked. "The black side is enchanted to inflict extra pain. The white heals. I don't see much need for the second." Soon, he begged for it.

***

"Writing stories about actual people without permission is ethically complicated. But it's harmless." said Greta. Then she had an orgy with Stephen Fry, David Tennant, Karen Gillan, and Randall Munroe.

***

The breakup went great. You miss only his exquisite cock. Fortunately you scanned it, and can print spares at your leisure. Tonight, normal size in silicone. Tomorrow, 200% in chocolate!

***

The idea started on a glorious whim, one dreary month a year she would awake each day to a new story. Porn for her from all her friends. Thank you.




New languages this year: Chicken, latin, some programming language I can't identify on sight.

New fandoms this year: Man, I lost count. Homestuck, Les Miz, Princess Bride, Warehouse 13, RPF political, RPF internet personalities, quite plausibly some I missed noticing entirely...

Again, thank you so much to everyone who participates, be it as a writer, reader, commenter, or muse.

See you next February!

~Sor
MOOP!

on 2012-02-29 11:27 am (UTC)
harena: (Cat Mask)
Posted by [personal profile] harena
She flared zinc

Ehehehehe, we are reading Mistborn to the kids right now!! *falls over with glee*

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sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
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