(no subject)

[sorcyress]

If you were a zombie, and you had the ability to time travel, and go eat the brain of ANY PERSON FROM ALL OF HISTORY, whose brain would you eat?

The way I see it, there's two major paths of reasoning.

The first is the standard time traveler's adventure, to wit, if you could kill the brain of someone before they achieved something great, what do you think would happen to the time stream? Obviously, you could eat Einstein's brain as he's on his deathbed. Or you could eat it when he's fifteen, before he's even made it to America or considered relativity.

The second, and much more important in my opinion, consideration is that of taste. What makes a brain taste good? Do intelligent brains with lots of connections taste better? One answer I got was "Well, I'd go back at least to pre-industrial age, since then I wouldn't have to worry about brains full of mercury" --that's important! Do brains from before humans started pumping chemicals into the air and water taste better?

And similarly, when is the best time to eat a brain? Do you want to eat it at the peak of the human's intellectual progress? Do brains taste best when they've fully matured, and are close to death? Does a baby's brain, all fresh and tender, taste the best?

My answer to the question is simple --I want to eat Feynman's brain. That would be *awesome*. That being said, I'm still trying to work out exactly when it would be best to chow down --I'm thinking I want to wait until he's on his deathbed, just because then he would have managed to get out all his wonderful works and words. I don't want to ruin Feynman for the rest of the world here, because let's face it. He's *awesome*.

(However, if it comes down to a matter of taste, because his brain would be more delicious at a certain point in his career, I would be happy to nom down there. I'm a zombie after all. What do I care for anything but the most succulent of brains?)

~Sor
MOOP!

Comments

[triplitex.livejournal.com]

I'd want to eat Ozzy Osborne's brain, as of a few years ago. I mean, the guy's practically a brain-dead zombie already, so I doubt he'd be all that different if I ate his brain. Plus, I figure a brain like Ozzy'z is like, the equivalent of zombie drugs or something, and I'd get all fucked up for a while. So yeah, Ozzy.

[werewulf.livejournal.com]

I already told you but I"d do George Romero... before he put out Night of the Living Dead. Too many started preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse after that.

Me already have brains. Me want more creative brains!

[netpositive.livejournal.com]

Me om nom nom Django Reinhardt. On May 14 or 15, 1953 (i.e., the day *before* he has the massive brain hemorrhage that kills him at age 43).

Close runners-up: Mervyn Peake, George Herriman, Eugene Delacroix, George Perez. Because I bet long-term paint and/or ink exposure spice up brains real nice!

[marmota.livejournal.com]

*blink* ... the brain of whomever triggered the zombie event in the first place, before they did it?

[distant-flicker.livejournal.com]

But then wouldn't that make you the new Patient Zero?

[(Anonymous)]

Hm... I don't know the current trends in zombie pathology, then; I thought "brains eaten" == prey, stays dead, "bitten" == infected, converted ?

[distant-flicker.livejournal.com]

I can't say whose brain I would want to eat so much as I would like to say various animal brains are supposed to be delicious, particularly when made subject to the fryolated arts.

Just saying.

[harena.livejournal.com]

Dangit, now you've made me hungry.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_meej_/]

I'm still bummed that the newest edition of Joy of Cooking has *taken out* the wonderfully-phrased "Brains are delicate, and must be handled carefully, as they have a tendency to fall apart" cooking instructions.

Now there's just a warning about not eating brains due to BSE and the risk of similar diseases.

[tirerim.livejournal.com]

CJD is pretty rare in humans, though, so they should mostly be safe. Though I'm not sure if it even affects zombies.

And, since one of the primary transmission methods of TSEs is eating brains of infected animals, vegetarians should be particularly safe. So you and I will need to be on extra guard in the event of a zombie uprising...

[harena.livejournal.com]

For starters, someone with a working memory so i could remember who the heck's brain i'd want to eat in this scenario...

[tirerim.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure that if I were a zombie, my answer would go something like, "BRRRAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSS! NNNGGGRRRRNNNNGG. BRRAAAIIINNNNNNSSSSSSS!" Zombies are not exactly known for intelligence or creativity.

[mrbelm.livejournal.com]

Einstein's brain is still available, but it's in a jar of formaldehyde.

[joshuazelinsky.livejournal.com]

Actually sliced up in formaldehyde. I'm not sure it is all even in one location at this point.

[miriampenguin.livejournal.com]

First thought, without reading your entry: Isaac Newton. Because he was ridiculously smart and invented Calculus and the theory of Gravity, and there's something appealing about being a zombie in the 1600's in England.

After having read your entry... hm. I believe I stand by my choice. Not sure about timing.

[joshuazelinsky.livejournal.com]

I'm not worried about mercury. Zombies can consume a lot of heavy metals. Note that mercury poisoning is a historic problem well before the modern industrial era. The Romans had very bad mining that put a fair bit of mercury around. And in some cultures the strange properties of mercury made people believe that it had magical power. Thus, it is was commonly experimented with in alchemy in the Middle Ages, and it shows up in traditional Chinese and Indian medicine (and is still in use for both of those). So lots of people are going to have very high mercury levels anyways.

As to who I'd eat, I think I'd eat Duncan MacCleod of the Clan MacLeod right before he becomes immortal. I'm curious as to how the resulting zombieness will interact with his immortality. (And yes, he is a historic figure. TV wouldn't lie!)

If he's not ok, what about Jesus after the crucifixion but before the resurrection? Similar logic. Actually, now that I think about it, it may be that I am going to get time travel, become a zombie and do that, making him a zombie and inadvertently starting Christianity. It would be a stable time loop.

If what I do really can change history then eating Hitler's brain might be the best course of action. If not, I think it might be interesting to eat JFK's brain after he's been shot. I bet no conspiracy theorist has realized that brain consumption is the real reason why the autopsy results looked so weird.

[cos]

Before I clicked through the cut to read the rest of your post, I had already decided I would comment to say Feynman.

[ms-hecubus.livejournal.com]

Henry the Eighth. Based on his diet his brain would probably taste like it was marinated in wine and butter.

[(Anonymous)]

Used this for a question for the Miss Conowingo pageant. Responses were:

--Justin Bieber: To have all the singing/dancing awesomeness at camp
--Gandhi: To be that much at peace
And some other really good ones. Can't remember them right now.

--Blue

[(Anonymous)]

Sorry to double post, but I just remembered the vegan's answer: He would maintain his veganitude and go after graaaains.