(no subject)

So Kat, you just had a long, fun weekend. You explored the world with JoshZed, you had a webcam orgy, you went to a party, you watched Venture brothers, you dressed like a pirate, you did some office work, and you were made aware of a *lot* of impending drama. What do you feel you need to elaborate on?

The fact that I have the best damn little sister there ever was, ever. She just linked me to this Head Trip comic, which seriously made me cry a little and stuff. I love that girl.

You may return to your everyday life, now.

~Sor
MOOP!

PostScript: Anyone who has Flickr pro: Reccomended, y/n?

(no subject)

This is as much for personal record as for anything else, because keeping track might be helpful.

So, I got a bad case of the crazies this evening, or, in laymans terms, a bit of a panic attack. More than a bit, really, I was...not...well off. I do believe that this one was the most thorough panic attack I've had in a long while, though I think I thought that about the last one, too. (Granted, I can't remember when the last one was, sooo...)

Uhmyeah. Not that I'm really distractable at the moment or anything.

Anyways, panic attack, woo. One of my more crippling flaws is that I am incapable of asking people for help, or protection, or whatever. In a very similar vein, it is extraordinarily difficult for me to be honest about my mental stability or state. The latter problem is amplified when I'm physically by myself, I can and do lie like a rug online, often very convincingly.¹

Unfortunately, what this boils down to is if I need help, I'm not going to get it. Which leads me to today. I am...in a bad way (sharpies on the arms, holding the knife before putting it down quite fast and going into another room, curling up into a ball on the floor, the usual Sorcy panicmode) and some small sane part of my brain is attempting to figure out someone to call. Because if I can conclusively figure out who I should call, and I can convince myself that it won't be a waste of their time, then I may actually be able to dial the number.

There are, as well, other factors as to why I won't call --obviously, if my personal "tragedy" has anything to do with you, you're not going to find your phone ringing. But what it boils down to is the fact that I can't tell people I'm hurt.

And...yeah. It suddenly occurs to me that I don't really feel like sharing any more details than that about tonight. I wound up talking to Janny, because I was able to hit send before I thought about what I was saying and she forced me to call her. So that was really really really good.

People good. I need to remember that people are really good.

Yep. Have a nice day.

~Sor
MOOP!

p.s: I am fine now, do not worry.

1: By which I mean, people who care a shitton about me don't ever call me on it, and I think that they would. And sometimes, they successfully do, and that's just an amazing thing.

(no subject)

Shit.

Because this evening just wasn't being bad enough, I appear to have broken my glasses. No problems, I have a spare pair, right?

Yeah, sure. My guess is that they're on my dresser at home, because I sure as hell don't see them anywhere up here.

Soyeah, until I get unlazy and fix¹ one of the two broken pairs of glasses I currently have in my possession, I am either blind or sunglassed. Sigh.

This would be less of a problem if my sunglasses didn't give me a bit of a headache. Or maybe just teh sunglasses/computer problem. Whatever. My current choices are blind or in pain. (And I'm relitively confident that it's the fact that I'm using the sunglasses as normal glasses, and not the fact that I've been crying. The two kinds of headaches feel slightly different.)

Soyeah. I'm having a bit of a piss poor evening. I think it is time for me to go find something very distracting to do.

Okay, that's done. I think it's time for me to go do something very distracting now. Catch you lot later.

~Sor
MOOP!

1: Unlazy and unvain. I could have my blue glasses wearable in about ten minutes if I didn't care so much about the fact that I think tape looks desperately silly.

ETA: Also sucktastic about my sunglasses, they are polerized in such a way that, from certain angles, Vera's screen looks completely black. Which is confusing as all hell. I thought for a second that there had been a power surge or something.