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Good morning!
Nov. 1st, 2010 09:29 amA play, in two acts, with far too many inanimate objects as characters.
Dramatis Persona:
Me: Your lovely heroine
Jackie: An ipod, with a docking station that works as a good little set of speakers/alarm clock
Magikarp: A telephone, and my primary clock and alarm clock.
Tadius South: A TI-83+ calculator
Act 1: Last night
Magikarp: Bee-tee-dubs, it is late, you might want to sleep.
Me: Blug, fine. Hmmm, now when do I want to wake up? Oh, I know, ten! Ten is a good number. Ten is plenty of sleep. Ten is time to get things done before class, like math homework, and that ELL project.
Magikarp: I am good! I know when ten is! *sets alarm*
Me: Oh hey, I should set a music alarm, because music is excellent!
Jackie: Is it 2000?
Me: ...no.
Jackie: Um...is it February?
Me: ......no.
Jackie: How about one in the afternoon? Is it one in the afternoon?
Me: .........Okay, you know what? I don't feel like fixing your temporal difficulties right now, so I'm just gonna add the same number of hours to your current time as the number of hours I added to Magikarp to get an alarm at ten. So, it's two now, so....six hours!
Jackie: I can do this! I can wake you up in six hours! It'll be awesome!!!
Me: ...yeah, kay. *zzz*
Act 2: This morning
Jackie: DAYLIGHT IS AN AWESOME SONG, RIGHT?! YOU'RE AWAKE AND HAPPY AND STUFF, RIGHT!?
Me: Auuguuguguuuuuuuu shutupshutupshutup.
Ria: Mrrmrmmmphzzzzzzzzz
Jackie: *sniff* you don't love me, do you?
Me: No, not at ten in the morning, no. Teeth brushing!
Me: *while in bathroom* Ohcrapohcrap, I forgot to turn off Magikarp, and he is probably going off and annoying Ria as we speak! *rushes back to room*
Magikarp: zzzzzzzz
Me: Oh good, lucky me!
Magikarp: Bee-tee-dubs, it's like...eight in the morning.
Me: wtf?
Magikarp: Seriously.
Tadius: 2+6=8, dumbass
Me: ...*palm -> face*
Tadius: Also, how do you solve inequalities with negative numbers in them?1
Me: ...we are no longer on friendly terms.
Tadius: Neener.
Me: *is too awake to go back to sleep*
Me: FINE THEN.
Me: *punishes Tadius by doing lots of stupid extra work on him for maths instead of doing the problems in her head*
Stomach: Bee-tee-dubs, hungry.
Me: Wevs, we can wait until lunch like usual.
Stomach: UM. FOOD PLACE. ACTUALLY OPEN2. FEED ME.
Me: ...Ah! Lemme make a quick livejournal post then!
The end!
~Sor
MOOP!
1: I refuse to admit this story actually happened, as it's astonishingly terrible for someone hoping to get a math degree. You can ask Sparr, he is positively gleeful every time he tells it.
2: Food place normally closes for breakfast at ten, and opens eleven for lunch. I tend to aim for lunch most days.
Dramatis Persona:
Me: Your lovely heroine
Jackie: An ipod, with a docking station that works as a good little set of speakers/alarm clock
Magikarp: A telephone, and my primary clock and alarm clock.
Tadius South: A TI-83+ calculator
Act 1: Last night
Magikarp: Bee-tee-dubs, it is late, you might want to sleep.
Me: Blug, fine. Hmmm, now when do I want to wake up? Oh, I know, ten! Ten is a good number. Ten is plenty of sleep. Ten is time to get things done before class, like math homework, and that ELL project.
Magikarp: I am good! I know when ten is! *sets alarm*
Me: Oh hey, I should set a music alarm, because music is excellent!
Jackie: Is it 2000?
Me: ...no.
Jackie: Um...is it February?
Me: ......no.
Jackie: How about one in the afternoon? Is it one in the afternoon?
Me: .........Okay, you know what? I don't feel like fixing your temporal difficulties right now, so I'm just gonna add the same number of hours to your current time as the number of hours I added to Magikarp to get an alarm at ten. So, it's two now, so....six hours!
Jackie: I can do this! I can wake you up in six hours! It'll be awesome!!!
Me: ...yeah, kay. *zzz*
Act 2: This morning
Jackie: DAYLIGHT IS AN AWESOME SONG, RIGHT?! YOU'RE AWAKE AND HAPPY AND STUFF, RIGHT!?
Me: Auuguuguguuuuuuuu shutupshutupshutup.
Ria: Mrrmrmmmphzzzzzzzzz
Jackie: *sniff* you don't love me, do you?
Me: No, not at ten in the morning, no. Teeth brushing!
Me: *while in bathroom* Ohcrapohcrap, I forgot to turn off Magikarp, and he is probably going off and annoying Ria as we speak! *rushes back to room*
Magikarp: zzzzzzzz
Me: Oh good, lucky me!
Magikarp: Bee-tee-dubs, it's like...eight in the morning.
Me: wtf?
Magikarp: Seriously.
Tadius: 2+6=8, dumbass
Me: ...*palm -> face*
Tadius: Also, how do you solve inequalities with negative numbers in them?1
Me: ...we are no longer on friendly terms.
Tadius: Neener.
Me: *is too awake to go back to sleep*
Me: FINE THEN.
Me: *punishes Tadius by doing lots of stupid extra work on him for maths instead of doing the problems in her head*
Stomach: Bee-tee-dubs, hungry.
Me: Wevs, we can wait until lunch like usual.
Stomach: UM. FOOD PLACE. ACTUALLY OPEN2. FEED ME.
Me: ...Ah! Lemme make a quick livejournal post then!
The end!
~Sor
MOOP!
1: I refuse to admit this story actually happened, as it's astonishingly terrible for someone hoping to get a math degree. You can ask Sparr, he is positively gleeful every time he tells it.
2: Food place normally closes for breakfast at ten, and opens eleven for lunch. I tend to aim for lunch most days.
