(no subject)

[sorcyress]

Yesterday was kindof a shitshow. I fell into a shitty phone game for like...four straight hours after school? Give or take? It was literally Austin's "yeah, so I'm about to head over for date night" text that made me actually pack up and leave the school building and walk home in the freezy rain.

(I deleted the game. And I want to play it more, but not because it's _good_ or because it makes me feel good or anything positive like that, it's just literally a lowest-common-denominator dopamine producer and my ADHD ass turns out to sometimes be _really_ fucking susceptible to bright-shiny-ooo addictions like that. Who is not allowed to gamble real money? This fucker!)

I got home and ate food and mostly screwed my brain back on, and eventually forced myself to go upstairs and turn on the music and clean my room. The first step was the important one. I really _really_ need to be listening to more music more often. My life does not quite shape in a way that makes it regular for me, and that's probably one of the biggest structures to figure out right now.

(my current computer speakers are heavily potato-quality. This is probably yet another sign I should be thinking hard about replacing my laptop *before* consumer electronics suddenly get scary expensive).

Music was good. Wound up landing on a bunch of old Dresden Dolls stuff, which is...a...choice? I don't know how to feel about the choice, but if you successfully separate the art and artist, there's a lot of The Good Kind Of Pain to howl along to in there. Felt right.

I'm trying to make today be better, but who knows how far we'll actually get. Certainly, I haven't done *that* much with my preps, so like...bad sign. But I did finish submitting all the grades that were due today, and successfully made copies, and I've done some typing that needed doing, and so maybe it's not the worst.

I hope you're well, and happy.

~Sor
MOOP!

Comments

[canyonwalker]

I know what you mean about playing a game too much. I recently got back into Kakuro, a Japanese number game that's like a mix of Sudoku and crossword puzzles. I've been playing it sometimes hours a day over the past few weeks, occasionally to the detriment of things like sleep.

[sorcyress]

I'm uuuusually pretty good at not doing stupid phone games instead of sleep, but I'm not great at not doing them instead of like...work. Or grading. Or reading a book. Or finding small joys. It's rough, especially when more puzzly games feel like I'm accomplishing something...except that something is like an hour of minesweeper.

~Sor