The Parent Trap!
Jul. 20th, 2023 04:14 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sorcyressSo, I'm pretty sure when I was like...ten? I'm pretty sure there was a period of time when I was ten or eleven or so, where at least once someone asked me what my favourite movie1 was and I asserted "The Parent Trap" (1998, starring Lindsay Lohan and also Lindsay Lohan).
I am not sure when the last time I watched this movie was, but it cannot possibly have been more recently than like...ninth grade? probably younger? Anyways, I am on an aeroplane and had access to it, and also had discord open and was chatting with Tuesday and then she went to bed but somehow got A COMPLETE COMMENTARY TRACK OF THE PARENT TRAP (1998, starring Lindsay Lohan and also Lindsay Lohan).
omg I could watch The Parent Trap 1998, which I have not seen in ages
But may have been "my favourite movie" for a while as a kid
......this movie has lesbian vibes
I can't believe that there were multiple movies I know I actually like, and instead I am watching a ridiculous Lindsay Lohan vessel from the 90s
I'm not sure if it's lesbian vibes or just that's what things are like at a girls camp
....having spent two summers at a girls camp does not make this easier to figure out
The acting is....not good
But the tension is great
And the wish fullfilment is Very Quality
It turns out that the twins are fencing goddesses and poker goddesses
Also you are not allowed to jump in the lake after dark, even if you lost at poker
oh my god, Lindsay Lohan and Lindsay Lohan just realized they're secret twins!!!!!!!!
Also on the lesbian front, they've been banished to the isolation cabin and now that they like each other their beds have been pushed together into one bed
"you're nervous?! An eleven year old is cutting my hair"
That's a pretty good line
Also please don't pierce your ears at camp
Even if you are trying to swap places with your secret twin
It is soppy as fuck, but Lindsay Lohan actually does do a pretty good job of being overwhelmed at meeting her mother for the very first time in her life
Haha, that joke definitely went over my head the last time I saw this
LL "don't you ever think about marriage again or at least the f-word?"
Mom "the f word?!"
LL "my father!"
[replying to the above bit about being overwhelmed at meeting mom] And quite differently but still well at meeting her dad for the first tine
The premise of this movie is so stupid
"let's get divorced but also make sure our twin sisters are split forever and never know the other existed"
It is fucking hilarious that LL's response to "I wanna marry this gold digger" is "oh man, I always wanted a big sister"
I forgot how fucking absurd this golddigger character is and I wish I could recognize the actress
Also she is deliciously absurdly evil
OH MY GOD SHE'S ROXY WASSERMAN2 OH MY GOD
HOW THE FUCK DID I NOT IMMEDIATELY PEG THAT OH MY GOD
No wonder she's so fucking good at being evil the woman is a bona fide succubus
The butler is so gay
so gay
These parents are so willing to trust their little liepot daughters
Also the mom of the golddigger is played by the woman who played the golddigger in the 60s vwrsion
And that is an amazing touch,frankly
Okay, honestly the first fifteen minutes are pretty ridiculous but the rest of it is actually decent
....except for the part where they're trying to pretend the gay butler and the lesbian housekeeper are into each other
"you're not trying to set me up with your father?!"
"Actually we are, you're perfect for each other!"
"here for one purpose only: to switch the two of you back"
Yeah, that's...not gonna go well
They are identical twins made of chaos
I completely forgot the brief subplot in which golddigger is in love with a wedding dress designed by mom
The gay butler is not currently buttling, he was invited to come to the twinswap just as a friend and he is taking full advantage of this
We're like 2/3rds through the movie and my biggest conclusion is that mom + queer staff + twins need to fuck off to London for a happily ever after without dad because he is exhausting thanks
He is head over heels for a little blonde golddigger like a decade younger than him and then immediately drops her for his ex wife the second he sees her in the strappy black dress with the legs
Which like...is good for the plot but doesn't actually speak well for him being a decent dude
.......it continues to be very shoehorned in that the Queer Staff are being set up together
They are...so queer
Mom is being the worst by inviting the golddigger on the camping trip and the best part is that she knows she's being the worst and that is genuinely pretty funny
....dad also kinda knows and that's also funny, but again, he is really not on team his girlfriend and it is awful
I call bullshit on being able to pick up the lizard and put it on golddigger's water bottle. Real life lizards are not that calm
Playing pranks on golddigger is pretty great, mostly because we run the gamut of mean camp pranks that I'd never actually want to happen to someone
This actress must be having so much fun [referring to Roxy Wasserman. I mean Elaine Hendrix. Actual actor names, pssh]
Also it must be the original that has the bear. Couldn't remember for sure
But this one has the INCREDIBLY UNSAFE dragging her air mattress into the lake with her on it
DO NOT DO THAT
PRANKS ARE ONE THING, DROWNING IS ANOTHER
Also she SHRIEKS goodness this was a bad choice to listen to on headphones
"we're being punished until the end of the century" hits different when I remember this is only set in like '98
They're only grounded for like two years!
I don't know who these parental actors are either, but they're both pretty attractive
....I hate the dad but his rakish smile is extremely rakish
The parents almost kissed :(
But then the queer staff returned home from their forced hetero date and interrupted :(
Dang, that was a good kiss
They finally kissed :)
Now our twins got our parents...trapped
Final Verdict: Turns out nine year old me actually had okay taste in movies! The first ten minutes are actually _terrible_ the at camp acting is so bad, but once there are actual adults around it gets better. I'm not gonna rush out to buy a copy or anything, but that was definitely a good plane movie! Very fun!
Now I'm gonna watch the Good Parts version of Mulan (fast forward through all the boring bits, watch "I'll Make a Man Out of You" like five times in a row, you know the drill) because we land in like half an hour and it's not actually worth sleeping. We will fix my sleep schedule...eventually.
<3
~Sor
MOOP!
1: I don't remember all the intermediarys, but in 2006 "Snakes on a Plane" came out and I said "okay, that's a pretty good choice" and it was my Favourite Movie for just under ten years. Because in 2015, "Mad Max: Fury Road" came out and you know what, 26!Sor was actually old enough and me enough to know what's what and I have never (and probably will never) looked back.
2: The first version of this footnote was actually just incomprehensible squeeing. She's a character from two episodes of Middleman, the best television show ever made. that was established in 2008 and I have also not looked back from there although I've possibly put more watches into Taskmaster at this point.
...but then again maybe not. I mean, I used to keep a running list in the notes of episode 1 of Middleman on itunes, so I knew who I'd shown it to. There were like...twenty names? I have probably watched it 20 times? I would easily believe that I have seen the The Pilot Episode Sanction twenty times in my life.
fuck, I should _really_ watch Middleman again. Who needs to see it and wants to be my watchbuddy?
I am not sure when the last time I watched this movie was, but it cannot possibly have been more recently than like...ninth grade? probably younger? Anyways, I am on an aeroplane and had access to it, and also had discord open and was chatting with Tuesday and then she went to bed but somehow got A COMPLETE COMMENTARY TRACK OF THE PARENT TRAP (1998, starring Lindsay Lohan and also Lindsay Lohan).
omg I could watch The Parent Trap 1998, which I have not seen in ages
But may have been "my favourite movie" for a while as a kid
......this movie has lesbian vibes
I can't believe that there were multiple movies I know I actually like, and instead I am watching a ridiculous Lindsay Lohan vessel from the 90s
I'm not sure if it's lesbian vibes or just that's what things are like at a girls camp
....having spent two summers at a girls camp does not make this easier to figure out
The acting is....not good
But the tension is great
And the wish fullfilment is Very Quality
It turns out that the twins are fencing goddesses and poker goddesses
Also you are not allowed to jump in the lake after dark, even if you lost at poker
at this point, Tuesday commented "I should watch this" and I replied "It's definitely not as good as I remember it, but I am only ten minutes in". Then she went to bed, leaving me unsupervised in our discord server!
oh my god, Lindsay Lohan and Lindsay Lohan just realized they're secret twins!!!!!!!!
Also on the lesbian front, they've been banished to the isolation cabin and now that they like each other their beds have been pushed together into one bed
"you're nervous?! An eleven year old is cutting my hair"
That's a pretty good line
Also please don't pierce your ears at camp
Even if you are trying to swap places with your secret twin
It is soppy as fuck, but Lindsay Lohan actually does do a pretty good job of being overwhelmed at meeting her mother for the very first time in her life
Haha, that joke definitely went over my head the last time I saw this
LL "don't you ever think about marriage again or at least the f-word?"
Mom "the f word?!"
LL "my father!"
You may notice throughout that I basically don't bother to call anyone by their proper names. The characters are LL (used for both twins, there is no reason for me to differentiate Hallie and Annie), mom (Liz/Elizabeth), dad (Nick), Golddigger (Meredith), and Queer Staff (Martin the Gay Butler and Chessie the Lesbian Housekeeper).
[replying to the above bit about being overwhelmed at meeting mom] And quite differently but still well at meeting her dad for the first tine
The premise of this movie is so stupid
"let's get divorced but also make sure our twin sisters are split forever and never know the other existed"
It is fucking hilarious that LL's response to "I wanna marry this gold digger" is "oh man, I always wanted a big sister"
I forgot how fucking absurd this golddigger character is and I wish I could recognize the actress
Also she is deliciously absurdly evil
OH MY GOD SHE'S ROXY WASSERMAN2 OH MY GOD
HOW THE FUCK DID I NOT IMMEDIATELY PEG THAT OH MY GOD
No wonder she's so fucking good at being evil the woman is a bona fide succubus
The butler is so gay
so gay
These parents are so willing to trust their little liepot daughters
Also the mom of the golddigger is played by the woman who played the golddigger in the 60s vwrsion
And that is an amazing touch,frankly
Okay, honestly the first fifteen minutes are pretty ridiculous but the rest of it is actually decent
....except for the part where they're trying to pretend the gay butler and the lesbian housekeeper are into each other
"you're not trying to set me up with your father?!"
"Actually we are, you're perfect for each other!"
I forgot to add commentary for this, but this movie is earnestly committed to its stupid plot and let's be real, one of the things I most like in cinema is full commitment to stupid plots. See also Snakes on a Plane. And Pacific Rim.
"here for one purpose only: to switch the two of you back"
Yeah, that's...not gonna go well
They are identical twins made of chaos
I completely forgot the brief subplot in which golddigger is in love with a wedding dress designed by mom
The gay butler is not currently buttling, he was invited to come to the twinswap just as a friend and he is taking full advantage of this
We're like 2/3rds through the movie and my biggest conclusion is that mom + queer staff + twins need to fuck off to London for a happily ever after without dad because he is exhausting thanks
He is head over heels for a little blonde golddigger like a decade younger than him and then immediately drops her for his ex wife the second he sees her in the strappy black dress with the legs
Which like...is good for the plot but doesn't actually speak well for him being a decent dude
.......it continues to be very shoehorned in that the Queer Staff are being set up together
They are...so queer
Mom is being the worst by inviting the golddigger on the camping trip and the best part is that she knows she's being the worst and that is genuinely pretty funny
....dad also kinda knows and that's also funny, but again, he is really not on team his girlfriend and it is awful
I call bullshit on being able to pick up the lizard and put it on golddigger's water bottle. Real life lizards are not that calm
Playing pranks on golddigger is pretty great, mostly because we run the gamut of mean camp pranks that I'd never actually want to happen to someone
This actress must be having so much fun [referring to Roxy Wasserman. I mean Elaine Hendrix. Actual actor names, pssh]
Also it must be the original that has the bear. Couldn't remember for sure
But this one has the INCREDIBLY UNSAFE dragging her air mattress into the lake with her on it
DO NOT DO THAT
PRANKS ARE ONE THING, DROWNING IS ANOTHER
Also she SHRIEKS goodness this was a bad choice to listen to on headphones
"we're being punished until the end of the century" hits different when I remember this is only set in like '98
They're only grounded for like two years!
I don't know who these parental actors are either, but they're both pretty attractive
....I hate the dad but his rakish smile is extremely rakish
The parents almost kissed :(
But then the queer staff returned home from their forced hetero date and interrupted :(
Dang, that was a good kiss
They finally kissed :)
Now our twins got our parents...trapped
Final Verdict: Turns out nine year old me actually had okay taste in movies! The first ten minutes are actually _terrible_ the at camp acting is so bad, but once there are actual adults around it gets better. I'm not gonna rush out to buy a copy or anything, but that was definitely a good plane movie! Very fun!
Now I'm gonna watch the Good Parts version of Mulan (fast forward through all the boring bits, watch "I'll Make a Man Out of You" like five times in a row, you know the drill) because we land in like half an hour and it's not actually worth sleeping. We will fix my sleep schedule...eventually.
<3
~Sor
MOOP!
1: I don't remember all the intermediarys, but in 2006 "Snakes on a Plane" came out and I said "okay, that's a pretty good choice" and it was my Favourite Movie for just under ten years. Because in 2015, "Mad Max: Fury Road" came out and you know what, 26!Sor was actually old enough and me enough to know what's what and I have never (and probably will never) looked back.
2: The first version of this footnote was actually just incomprehensible squeeing. She's a character from two episodes of Middleman, the best television show ever made. that was established in 2008 and I have also not looked back from there although I've possibly put more watches into Taskmaster at this point.
...but then again maybe not. I mean, I used to keep a running list in the notes of episode 1 of Middleman on itunes, so I knew who I'd shown it to. There were like...twenty names? I have probably watched it 20 times? I would easily believe that I have seen the The Pilot Episode Sanction twenty times in my life.
fuck, I should _really_ watch Middleman again. Who needs to see it and wants to be my watchbuddy?
no subject
on 2023-07-20 12:32 pm (UTC)Note: while it's super obvious that you shouldn't separate twins in infancy and not tell them that they have a twin, I keep seeing people post in the donor conceived parents group, "I have an 18 year old from donor XXX, does she have any siblings?" so some related concepts are not as obvious as you might hope.
no subject
on 2023-07-20 02:33 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2023-07-31 07:26 pm (UTC)In theory, Middleman is on Kate's and my near-term "we really should rewatch this" list (especially since I'm not at all sure she's seen all of it), but if that doesn't transpire soon I'm definitely looking for a watch buddy.
(And now I'm wondering how big a PITA it would be to excavate the comics, including the crossover finale...)