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May. 17th, 2020 01:02 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sorcyressat some point I will slip and miss a day, and that is fine, that is what will happen, and I'll write more again after.
My streak lasted 524 days.
When I made the post at the end of 2018, saying that I has broken a 12 day streak, and I was going to try and hold myself accountable and write more regularly I...I couldn't conceive of this. I was thinking that maybe it would help me keep from yo-yoing like I am wont to do, three days on and two days off, back and forth at any given moment. That maybe it would give me a good chunk of 2019, if I was lucky. I had a little text file (on the computer that's borked) that collected the data of how many days I had written in each calendar year since starting on the site -my best ever year I logged 361/365!
In 2019, I wrote at least 750 words every 24 hours. I've talked about it plenty before. But then...I...didn't stop. I thought maybe I would stop at a year? But I didn't really want to do that. And I thought it would be funny if I stopped for day 404 (words not found), but then forgot. And then I figured maybe I could purposefully end my streak after day 496, so that I had a perfect streak (because the next perfect number is 8128, and *that's* not happening!).
But when it comes down to it, I don't write because I want to maintain the row of checkboxes. I mean, seriously, do not get me wrong, I love them and they're a really good incentive. But if the goal was merely "fill checkyboxen" I could accomplish that with copypaste, with repetitive typing practice, whatever.
I write because my veins run with ink and it wants to be spilled. I write because it's the only way possible to help people read my mind. I write because the noun and verb of writing feel like sanity, feel like stability, feel like surviving.
And I write because it is habit, to take a little time at the end of the day, and try and think about things a bit. My writing is prosaic, but the way I think is in text --not just words, but specifically the written form-- and so if I really want to spend some time with myself and think things out, I have to do it with a keyoard under my fingers.
And that's a really nice thing to know, because...I'm not sad? Like, I'm having an overwhelm of feelings right now, because we're all living through an unprecedented global pandemic and scared for the lives of our loved ones, but realizing that last night (when my brain was hardline hell zone and I was just distracting myself desperately to wile away the hours) I didn't get around to my words...okay.
It's okay.
The streak is broken. Bummer. There is nothing in the world stopping me from creating a new streak. Because while the checkyboxen are nice, the little bird badges (I truthfully never, even when I reached a year, did not expect to hit 500 intact) are cute, the reason for me to write is to _write_. The verb of writing brings me peace, the noun of writing brings me clarity.
At some point, I have slipped. I have missed a day. That is fine, that happens. I will write more again after.
Thank you, to a determined little sorceress of the past, casting a spell for me today.
~Sor
MOOP!
My streak lasted 524 days.
When I made the post at the end of 2018, saying that I has broken a 12 day streak, and I was going to try and hold myself accountable and write more regularly I...I couldn't conceive of this. I was thinking that maybe it would help me keep from yo-yoing like I am wont to do, three days on and two days off, back and forth at any given moment. That maybe it would give me a good chunk of 2019, if I was lucky. I had a little text file (on the computer that's borked) that collected the data of how many days I had written in each calendar year since starting on the site -my best ever year I logged 361/365!
In 2019, I wrote at least 750 words every 24 hours. I've talked about it plenty before. But then...I...didn't stop. I thought maybe I would stop at a year? But I didn't really want to do that. And I thought it would be funny if I stopped for day 404 (words not found), but then forgot. And then I figured maybe I could purposefully end my streak after day 496, so that I had a perfect streak (because the next perfect number is 8128, and *that's* not happening!).
But when it comes down to it, I don't write because I want to maintain the row of checkboxes. I mean, seriously, do not get me wrong, I love them and they're a really good incentive. But if the goal was merely "fill checkyboxen" I could accomplish that with copypaste, with repetitive typing practice, whatever.
I write because my veins run with ink and it wants to be spilled. I write because it's the only way possible to help people read my mind. I write because the noun and verb of writing feel like sanity, feel like stability, feel like surviving.
And I write because it is habit, to take a little time at the end of the day, and try and think about things a bit. My writing is prosaic, but the way I think is in text --not just words, but specifically the written form-- and so if I really want to spend some time with myself and think things out, I have to do it with a keyoard under my fingers.
And that's a really nice thing to know, because...I'm not sad? Like, I'm having an overwhelm of feelings right now, because we're all living through an unprecedented global pandemic and scared for the lives of our loved ones, but realizing that last night (when my brain was hardline hell zone and I was just distracting myself desperately to wile away the hours) I didn't get around to my words...okay.
It's okay.
The streak is broken. Bummer. There is nothing in the world stopping me from creating a new streak. Because while the checkyboxen are nice, the little bird badges (I truthfully never, even when I reached a year, did not expect to hit 500 intact) are cute, the reason for me to write is to _write_. The verb of writing brings me peace, the noun of writing brings me clarity.
At some point, I have slipped. I have missed a day. That is fine, that happens. I will write more again after.
Thank you, to a determined little sorceress of the past, casting a spell for me today.
~Sor
MOOP!
no subject
on 2020-05-18 03:21 pm (UTC)Good luck at surpassing the current streak.
no subject
on 2020-05-18 03:37 pm (UTC)