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May. 24th, 2016 12:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sorcyressFun Fact About Sorcyress 1: I passionately and viscerally dislike passing through tunnels when out and about in the world.
It's not a claustrophobia thing --I was thrilled to be squirming my way through tight spaces at Boda Borg. It's something to do with the sudden and total restriction of freedom in case of attack. Long stretches of scaffolding along the sidewalk elicit the same reaction. If someone were to jump out at me in this space, my options are terrifyingly constrained.
(And it's definitely got an aspect of "can I be attacked here" --I can drive through tunnels with no trouble at all, or ride through them on the T.)
Fun Fact About Sorcyress 2: Approximately every 4-6 months, I spend Way Too Long getting sucked into the terrifyingly dark part of humanity and read about a whole lotta shit I shouldn't be reading about.
When I say "terrifyingly dark" I mean that I've largely stopped reading about serial killers on wikipedia, because at this point, meh. (Plus, you know, I've read 'em all). Humanity's a lot more fucked up and terrifying when it's *not* killing each other.
This is ALWAYS a bad idea. Always1. I get spooked and nervy and do not like being anywhere with my back exposed. I have made huge strides in the field of "being able to handle my fear" but it still leaves me jumping at shadows for a few days. I have a wonderful large imagination, and a good retention of things I've read. This does not serve me.
Fun Fact About Sorcyress 3: There is a tunnel I have to pass through on my commute.
***
So it's possible that I am leaving work much later than usual due to FFAS2 up there, and it's also possible that I spent a considerable part of the last two hours reading about gross things2. And I've been listening to music, and daydreaming, and mostly calmed down the part of my brain that's busy going "YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE KIDNAPPED AND TORTURED FOREVER OKAY"
And I reach the tunnel! The tunnel goes under a bridge. There is technically one on each side. There is no easy way to cross the street over the bridge otherwise, which kinda makes sense --why bother with pedestrian walkways interferin' with the cars when you can just waltz on under! The tunnels are lit at night, which is cool, but the path angle is pretty awkward for the side I usually take.
So I'm cruising along, pretending that I'm not super nervous, because let's face it, I've been kinda fucked up on fear a few times in the last month, and I just keep gritting my teeth and sailing on through because the tunnels only like 50 feet wide, maximum. So, bike bike bike bike THERE IS A SHOPPING CART THAT WAS NOT THERE THIS MORNING AND HOLY SHIT THAT'S A PERSON NOPE NOPE NOPE.
Fun Fact About Sorcyress 4: My brakes currently work! Boy do they!
I screech to a halt and call "sorry!" across because I see the person starting to stir and oh shit I just woke them up, and then I try to back up while still straddling the bike which causes me to fall ass over teakettle and drop my bike on the ground. "FUCK!" "wait, sorry, sorry, have a nice night, bye!"
And I grab my bike and hightail it away from the tunnel and say "fuck it" and watch the traffic and rabbit my way overland across the street because I don't care that there's probably not someone in the other tunnel NOPE.
And I feel _really_ guilty, because the person was A) just trying to sleep and I woke them up and B) probably feels kinda gross and not-a-person and offended that I didn't want to go near them. I wish I could explain that it's totally not them, they are probably perfectly nice, it's just that I hate that tunnel anyways and I was kinda freaked and something being different was just completely unacceptable.
But you know what? With the exception of falling off my bike, I didn't get hurt or tortured in the slightest, and I'll take that small victory.
~Sor
MOOP!
1: "So why do you do it?" Eh, some combination of morbid curiosity and an enjoyment of the adrenaline rush. Plus, some of the scary shit I frequent contains some degree of "here's how to protect yourself" and that might be useful in the long run (hi r/Let'sNotMeet!)
2: Baltimore tried real hard to win the title of World's Worst Catholic Sex Scandal, and no, I don't want to know the actual competition for that one, I've had quite enough for one night thanks.
It's not a claustrophobia thing --I was thrilled to be squirming my way through tight spaces at Boda Borg. It's something to do with the sudden and total restriction of freedom in case of attack. Long stretches of scaffolding along the sidewalk elicit the same reaction. If someone were to jump out at me in this space, my options are terrifyingly constrained.
(And it's definitely got an aspect of "can I be attacked here" --I can drive through tunnels with no trouble at all, or ride through them on the T.)
Fun Fact About Sorcyress 2: Approximately every 4-6 months, I spend Way Too Long getting sucked into the terrifyingly dark part of humanity and read about a whole lotta shit I shouldn't be reading about.
When I say "terrifyingly dark" I mean that I've largely stopped reading about serial killers on wikipedia, because at this point, meh. (Plus, you know, I've read 'em all). Humanity's a lot more fucked up and terrifying when it's *not* killing each other.
This is ALWAYS a bad idea. Always1. I get spooked and nervy and do not like being anywhere with my back exposed. I have made huge strides in the field of "being able to handle my fear" but it still leaves me jumping at shadows for a few days. I have a wonderful large imagination, and a good retention of things I've read. This does not serve me.
Fun Fact About Sorcyress 3: There is a tunnel I have to pass through on my commute.
***
So it's possible that I am leaving work much later than usual due to FFAS2 up there, and it's also possible that I spent a considerable part of the last two hours reading about gross things2. And I've been listening to music, and daydreaming, and mostly calmed down the part of my brain that's busy going "YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE KIDNAPPED AND TORTURED FOREVER OKAY"
And I reach the tunnel! The tunnel goes under a bridge. There is technically one on each side. There is no easy way to cross the street over the bridge otherwise, which kinda makes sense --why bother with pedestrian walkways interferin' with the cars when you can just waltz on under! The tunnels are lit at night, which is cool, but the path angle is pretty awkward for the side I usually take.
So I'm cruising along, pretending that I'm not super nervous, because let's face it, I've been kinda fucked up on fear a few times in the last month, and I just keep gritting my teeth and sailing on through because the tunnels only like 50 feet wide, maximum. So, bike bike bike bike THERE IS A SHOPPING CART THAT WAS NOT THERE THIS MORNING AND HOLY SHIT THAT'S A PERSON NOPE NOPE NOPE.
Fun Fact About Sorcyress 4: My brakes currently work! Boy do they!
I screech to a halt and call "sorry!" across because I see the person starting to stir and oh shit I just woke them up, and then I try to back up while still straddling the bike which causes me to fall ass over teakettle and drop my bike on the ground. "FUCK!" "wait, sorry, sorry, have a nice night, bye!"
And I grab my bike and hightail it away from the tunnel and say "fuck it" and watch the traffic and rabbit my way overland across the street because I don't care that there's probably not someone in the other tunnel NOPE.
And I feel _really_ guilty, because the person was A) just trying to sleep and I woke them up and B) probably feels kinda gross and not-a-person and offended that I didn't want to go near them. I wish I could explain that it's totally not them, they are probably perfectly nice, it's just that I hate that tunnel anyways and I was kinda freaked and something being different was just completely unacceptable.
But you know what? With the exception of falling off my bike, I didn't get hurt or tortured in the slightest, and I'll take that small victory.
~Sor
MOOP!
1: "So why do you do it?" Eh, some combination of morbid curiosity and an enjoyment of the adrenaline rush. Plus, some of the scary shit I frequent contains some degree of "here's how to protect yourself" and that might be useful in the long run (hi r/Let'sNotMeet!)
2: Baltimore tried real hard to win the title of World's Worst Catholic Sex Scandal, and no, I don't want to know the actual competition for that one, I've had quite enough for one night thanks.