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Apr. 9th, 2014 07:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sorcyressMan, I have been _crap_ at writing this month. So let's have a big honking update on...stuff.
Job: I had the most hilariously crap November-March job situation. I should explain that the actual work was not at all crap and had some really wonderful and fun parts to it --I got to spend Valentine's Day with second graders, which was *great*! But the surrounding HR red tape and multiple layers of just sheer bullshit around the job were gawdawful.
As of the 2nd1, I am tutoring kids at the high school in math for the BIGTEST in a few weeks. YAYYY! The students I've been assigned are a mixed bag --some of them actually seem to get that, while yes, BIGTESTS are comprised entirely of bullshit they are a requirement of graduating, and it's a lot easier to do _everything_ post age 18 with a high school diploma or equivalent. They work hard and ask a lot of questions, I like those students.
I also had two students pulled for a session today who I think managed to say less than ten words, combined. Not just to me, but total. It was a fun experience in "okay, guess I'm just gonna solve math problems like a trained monkey for y'all and hope it sticks!" Those students are slightly less of a joy to teach.
Anyways, I keep doing this until Spring Break (WOO!) and then...I take over a high school math classroom for the rest of the schoolyear.
I have to give them a final exam.
And grades!!
I am terrified and really really excited.
Dance: I have not been doing enough of it lately, for lots of reasons, mostly the tail end of fuck this winter and a little bit of "I keep biking ten miles and then doing really hard dance on Sunday nights and pretending that won't entirely wipe me out physically for a few days."
Anyways, the RSCDS Boston Demo Team is performing at NEFFA, and I'm a part of that, and that means I am going to dance onstage at NEFFA asdfgsigkjse!!! If you will be at NEFFA on Sunday, you should DEFINITELY COME WATCH!! Our scheduled time is 3:13, these things are notoriously unreliable, but I doubt we'll start earlier than 3:00 or later than 3:30.
Also, you will get to laugh your teets off at the demo team "uniform" for ladies. Oh god, it's the most hideously dysphoria-making thing, I can do princess and I can do poofy and I can do pearls but white is not a colour I have ever willingly worn in exclusivity and just no. There may be some negotiation around my gender on the demo team in the future, to see if I can't minimize my wearing something that uncomfortable3 in the future.
Relationships: I am still dating some people! In the past few years I have stopped dating some other people! Recently I have begun to take up casual dating again!
In a more serious/useful vein, I am (still) entangled with Sparr, mek (my clone), and Terrapin (my sir). I have a casual-boardering-on-serious thing going with a gentleman in Chicago. I've had a couple firstish dates in the last few months, one of which is stalling due to lack-of-time and metamour stuff, the other which is stalling due to lack-of-time and, no seriously, lack-of-time.
The Endless Winter, combined with The Endless Work Bullshit has made me hibernate pretty awfully as far as social-stuff is concerned. Sadly, this includes dance. It has been _so hard_ for me to get the motivation to leave the house once I get home for the day. Some of it is legitimate exhaustion from a hard day at work (differently hard with new job --when you're tutoring in such small groups all day long, you have to be really constantly ON) but a lot has just been...not...existing well anywhere outside of my own head.
Or not even that, so much as I get home and park my bicycle and make it up the stairs and...everything that makes me real just drains out and I spend multiple (like, in excess of six in a lot of these cases) playing video games or refreshing tumblr or whatever, and it's gross. I am really thankful I started habitRPG pretty hardcore in January, when I was only a few months drained, since having a dailies list, and the potential of losing levels, and everything about that has been one of the only things compelling me to do _anything_.
(There's been this undercurrent in the back of my mind, where I go "man, all my LJ entries are really dark, maybe someone will ping me offlist and say "hey, sounds like you might have Seasonal Depression or something, maybe you should see a therapist?"". And...it hasn't happened, but every time the thought strikes, it is quickly followed by "why do you need someone else to tell you you're fucking sad to make you go get help?")
Sad is intentionally uncapitalized. I have no idea if I have Teh Depressions. I really hope I don't, managing the ADHD is hard enough, and I'm not remotely suicidal, not ever. But this winter --and this is the first time, I think-- I've met a lot more of the "inability to make self do" symptoms than normal. And probably the vast majority of that is the horrible co-incidence4 between "Awful Bullshit Winter" and "Awful Bullshit Job (and money) Situation". At any rate, spring is finally maybe perhaps beginning to start, and newjob is at least really differently tough, and that's so good.
So, I probably should see a Person What You Talk To About Brains sometime, but I don't actually have _time_ to do so, and I think what's probably gonna happen is I file it away in the back of my head as "make the appointment for early February like now, so you can check in with this before it fucks up six months."
As always, I reiterate that I am not suicidal, I do not self-harm, and I am the most stable damaged you may ever meet. I am going to live forever, so of course I will be fine.
Calendar: WELP THAT WAS A BUMMER! Let's talk about fun things I'm doing in the near future instead!
There will not be an April movie night. We were so close to having one, but then I decided to take a babysitting job and also forgot to advertise it (it would be this (the second) Saturday) so I'm gonna dibs right here and now May 10th as my next movie night. The theme is "movies that should've been crappy but were so earnest about their terrible plots that they are fantastic instead" and the movies will be Snakes on a Plane followed by Pacific Rim. The secondary theme is "Sor has no reason to talk to their boyfriend on his birthday and is instead going to host parties on the opposite coast, isn't they?" (I love you mek, happy early birfday).
Two weekends from now, I'm gonna roadtrip down to Atlanta and hopefully not get into any car accidents like the last time we did that. I will spend my Easter in respectful contemplation of the spirit of the holiday5 as always, then I will road trip back up to Massachusetts. BUT! I will tuck and roll halfway through the journey, saying "fuck all y'all" to the remaining people, who I've just spent over 24 hours in a car with and also a con, and go to Maryland for a couple days.
This is not a public visit to the state of my childhood. I am going to hang with Veronica as much as possible, because she's my ultimate bestie and the rest of you can suck it. That being said, I need to firm up plans with her, because they may include a couple of spans of time in which she's working or whatever (spring break WOO) and I do love all the rest of you and wanna hang.
Then back to Massachusetts for NEFFA on the 25th, which I'm PERFORMING AT OHGODSFLAIL!. Give me a month and then BALTICON, which I have not planned in the slightest except I'm probably taking Friday off work (I am a scummy teacher) and will be a public visit to Maryland, except the parts when I'm not really gonna leave the con hotel or the food/mall plaza across the street much of ever.
Expect other parties and stuff in between and after, including a Get Childish party, which I'm tentatively scheduling for early August/late July.
Whew.
So that's some of the overarching Stuff In My Life of late. I'm gonna go snuggle my boyf and maybe watch some mindless TV or something. Not because I've unhumaned and can't contemplate anything else, but because I've done two loads of laundry, sorted out a bunch of papers, run errands, cleaned the laundry room, and written almost 2000 words today.
Not every day is a bad one.
~Sor
MOOP!
1: HS!boss2 originally told me the first, and then I got an email on March 31st being all "lol, not actually starting today", and I had this horrific moment of "THIS IS THE WORST APRIL FOOL'S JOKE EVER!" before I actually bothered to call HS!boss and sort things out between her and subbing!boss.
2: The awesome lady in charge of substitutes and the awesome lady in charge of the high school math department have the same name, not that I'd use real names about work stuff in a public journal, that's just _begging_ for trouble.
3: Emotionally, mentally, genderally. Physically it's, you know, a dress. I will probably take it off about a minute and a half after I'm offstage.
4: I use the hyphen to emphasize the pronunciation. Also, I love this word. Coincidence! So lovely!
5: Feel free to picture whatever scandalous image you'd like here. If it's not something I'd do, I'm sure someone at the event would...
Job: I had the most hilariously crap November-March job situation. I should explain that the actual work was not at all crap and had some really wonderful and fun parts to it --I got to spend Valentine's Day with second graders, which was *great*! But the surrounding HR red tape and multiple layers of just sheer bullshit around the job were gawdawful.
As of the 2nd1, I am tutoring kids at the high school in math for the BIGTEST in a few weeks. YAYYY! The students I've been assigned are a mixed bag --some of them actually seem to get that, while yes, BIGTESTS are comprised entirely of bullshit they are a requirement of graduating, and it's a lot easier to do _everything_ post age 18 with a high school diploma or equivalent. They work hard and ask a lot of questions, I like those students.
I also had two students pulled for a session today who I think managed to say less than ten words, combined. Not just to me, but total. It was a fun experience in "okay, guess I'm just gonna solve math problems like a trained monkey for y'all and hope it sticks!" Those students are slightly less of a joy to teach.
Anyways, I keep doing this until Spring Break (WOO!) and then...I take over a high school math classroom for the rest of the schoolyear.
I have to give them a final exam.
And grades!!
I am terrified and really really excited.
Dance: I have not been doing enough of it lately, for lots of reasons, mostly the tail end of fuck this winter and a little bit of "I keep biking ten miles and then doing really hard dance on Sunday nights and pretending that won't entirely wipe me out physically for a few days."
Anyways, the RSCDS Boston Demo Team is performing at NEFFA, and I'm a part of that, and that means I am going to dance onstage at NEFFA asdfgsigkjse!!! If you will be at NEFFA on Sunday, you should DEFINITELY COME WATCH!! Our scheduled time is 3:13, these things are notoriously unreliable, but I doubt we'll start earlier than 3:00 or later than 3:30.
Also, you will get to laugh your teets off at the demo team "uniform" for ladies. Oh god, it's the most hideously dysphoria-making thing, I can do princess and I can do poofy and I can do pearls but white is not a colour I have ever willingly worn in exclusivity and just no. There may be some negotiation around my gender on the demo team in the future, to see if I can't minimize my wearing something that uncomfortable3 in the future.
Relationships: I am still dating some people! In the past few years I have stopped dating some other people! Recently I have begun to take up casual dating again!
In a more serious/useful vein, I am (still) entangled with Sparr, mek (my clone), and Terrapin (my sir). I have a casual-boardering-on-serious thing going with a gentleman in Chicago. I've had a couple firstish dates in the last few months, one of which is stalling due to lack-of-time and metamour stuff, the other which is stalling due to lack-of-time and, no seriously, lack-of-time.
The Endless Winter, combined with The Endless Work Bullshit has made me hibernate pretty awfully as far as social-stuff is concerned. Sadly, this includes dance. It has been _so hard_ for me to get the motivation to leave the house once I get home for the day. Some of it is legitimate exhaustion from a hard day at work (differently hard with new job --when you're tutoring in such small groups all day long, you have to be really constantly ON) but a lot has just been...not...existing well anywhere outside of my own head.
Or not even that, so much as I get home and park my bicycle and make it up the stairs and...everything that makes me real just drains out and I spend multiple (like, in excess of six in a lot of these cases) playing video games or refreshing tumblr or whatever, and it's gross. I am really thankful I started habitRPG pretty hardcore in January, when I was only a few months drained, since having a dailies list, and the potential of losing levels, and everything about that has been one of the only things compelling me to do _anything_.
(There's been this undercurrent in the back of my mind, where I go "man, all my LJ entries are really dark, maybe someone will ping me offlist and say "hey, sounds like you might have Seasonal Depression or something, maybe you should see a therapist?"". And...it hasn't happened, but every time the thought strikes, it is quickly followed by "why do you need someone else to tell you you're fucking sad to make you go get help?")
Sad is intentionally uncapitalized. I have no idea if I have Teh Depressions. I really hope I don't, managing the ADHD is hard enough, and I'm not remotely suicidal, not ever. But this winter --and this is the first time, I think-- I've met a lot more of the "inability to make self do" symptoms than normal. And probably the vast majority of that is the horrible co-incidence4 between "Awful Bullshit Winter" and "Awful Bullshit Job (and money) Situation". At any rate, spring is finally maybe perhaps beginning to start, and newjob is at least really differently tough, and that's so good.
So, I probably should see a Person What You Talk To About Brains sometime, but I don't actually have _time_ to do so, and I think what's probably gonna happen is I file it away in the back of my head as "make the appointment for early February like now, so you can check in with this before it fucks up six months."
As always, I reiterate that I am not suicidal, I do not self-harm, and I am the most stable damaged you may ever meet. I am going to live forever, so of course I will be fine.
Calendar: WELP THAT WAS A BUMMER! Let's talk about fun things I'm doing in the near future instead!
There will not be an April movie night. We were so close to having one, but then I decided to take a babysitting job and also forgot to advertise it (it would be this (the second) Saturday) so I'm gonna dibs right here and now May 10th as my next movie night. The theme is "movies that should've been crappy but were so earnest about their terrible plots that they are fantastic instead" and the movies will be Snakes on a Plane followed by Pacific Rim. The secondary theme is "Sor has no reason to talk to their boyfriend on his birthday and is instead going to host parties on the opposite coast, isn't they?" (I love you mek, happy early birfday).
Two weekends from now, I'm gonna roadtrip down to Atlanta and hopefully not get into any car accidents like the last time we did that. I will spend my Easter in respectful contemplation of the spirit of the holiday5 as always, then I will road trip back up to Massachusetts. BUT! I will tuck and roll halfway through the journey, saying "fuck all y'all" to the remaining people, who I've just spent over 24 hours in a car with and also a con, and go to Maryland for a couple days.
This is not a public visit to the state of my childhood. I am going to hang with Veronica as much as possible, because she's my ultimate bestie and the rest of you can suck it. That being said, I need to firm up plans with her, because they may include a couple of spans of time in which she's working or whatever (spring break WOO) and I do love all the rest of you and wanna hang.
Then back to Massachusetts for NEFFA on the 25th, which I'm PERFORMING AT OHGODSFLAIL!. Give me a month and then BALTICON, which I have not planned in the slightest except I'm probably taking Friday off work (I am a scummy teacher) and will be a public visit to Maryland, except the parts when I'm not really gonna leave the con hotel or the food/mall plaza across the street much of ever.
Expect other parties and stuff in between and after, including a Get Childish party, which I'm tentatively scheduling for early August/late July.
Whew.
So that's some of the overarching Stuff In My Life of late. I'm gonna go snuggle my boyf and maybe watch some mindless TV or something. Not because I've unhumaned and can't contemplate anything else, but because I've done two loads of laundry, sorted out a bunch of papers, run errands, cleaned the laundry room, and written almost 2000 words today.
Not every day is a bad one.
~Sor
MOOP!
1: HS!boss2 originally told me the first, and then I got an email on March 31st being all "lol, not actually starting today", and I had this horrific moment of "THIS IS THE WORST APRIL FOOL'S JOKE EVER!" before I actually bothered to call HS!boss and sort things out between her and subbing!boss.
2: The awesome lady in charge of substitutes and the awesome lady in charge of the high school math department have the same name, not that I'd use real names about work stuff in a public journal, that's just _begging_ for trouble.
3: Emotionally, mentally, genderally. Physically it's, you know, a dress. I will probably take it off about a minute and a half after I'm offstage.
4: I use the hyphen to emphasize the pronunciation. Also, I love this word. Coincidence! So lovely!
5: Feel free to picture whatever scandalous image you'd like here. If it's not something I'd do, I'm sure someone at the event would...
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no subject
on 2014-04-10 03:39 am (UTC)no subject
on 2014-04-10 04:49 pm (UTC)And yeah... those demo-team dresses. Eeesh. They "work" from the audience, in that there's enough similarity and they make a good backdrop for the sashes, but eesh. (Also, fun fact - did you know that the year R. danced at NEFFA while 8 months pregnant, there were plenty of folks who saw us later at NEFFA that were surprised she *was* pregnant? Gotta love empire-waist dresses. Or not.)