(no subject)
Mar. 20th, 2014 11:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sorcyressYou know what's the ups?
Gee Sor, no! What is the ups?
I've got a delightful houseguest at the moment, and he's got a not at all delightful migrainey thing. Neither of us has eaten dinner yet. And I own a pair of goddamn cat ears.
Let's.
Do.
THIS!
For those of you who don't remember those halycon days of 2012, back before I had a job (no really), I once came up with a totally brilliant idea for a side blog project, and then never put any work into it again. It's called Cooking with Cat Ears, and details how completely shite I am at cooking.
But the cat ears help.
Anyways, the zeroth step is always to put on some AWESOME LOUD MUSIC! We're gonna start with P!nk's "Raise Your Glass", and see where things go from there.
Tonight's dish is gonna be a hodge-podge of stuff I foolishly suggested to Amul, namely, pasta with pesto, chicken, and mixed veggies. Oooooooo. Mostly oooo because I have _basically never cooked meat before in my life, oh many shits.
Also oooo because I do not have a recipe. BUT! I WILL PREVAIL!
Step one, wash hands.
Step two, gather ingredients:
Wait, no, step one-point-five is "where's my goddamn apron?
And step one-point-seven-five is "what's in my pocket?"
Ah. That's right, I forgot that I didn't eat all the szecuan peppercorns that I poured out (too many by accident) when I was at
Gee Sor, no! What is the ups?
I've got a delightful houseguest at the moment, and he's got a not at all delightful migrainey thing. Neither of us has eaten dinner yet. And I own a pair of goddamn cat ears.
Let's.
Do.
THIS!
For those of you who don't remember those halycon days of 2012, back before I had a job (no really), I once came up with a totally brilliant idea for a side blog project, and then never put any work into it again. It's called Cooking with Cat Ears, and details how completely shite I am at cooking.
But the cat ears help.
Anyways, the zeroth step is always to put on some AWESOME LOUD MUSIC! We're gonna start with P!nk's "Raise Your Glass", and see where things go from there.
Tonight's dish is gonna be a hodge-podge of stuff I foolishly suggested to Amul, namely, pasta with pesto, chicken, and mixed veggies. Oooooooo. Mostly oooo because I have _basically never cooked meat before in my life, oh many shits.
Also oooo because I do not have a recipe. BUT! I WILL PREVAIL!
Step one, wash hands.
Step two, gather ingredients:
Wait, no, step one-point-five is "where's my goddamn apron?
And step one-point-seven-five is "what's in my pocket?"
Ah. That's right, I forgot that I didn't eat all the szecuan peppercorns that I poured out (too many by accident) when I was at
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<user="timmc">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]
You know what's the ups?
Gee Sor, no! What is the ups?
I've got a delightful houseguest at the moment, and he's got a not at all delightful migrainey thing. Neither of us has eaten dinner yet. And I own a pair of goddamn cat ears.
Let's.
Do.
THIS!
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/88438917@N00/13300247345/" title="Photo 677 by Sorcyress, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3826/13300247345_23c0a97e59.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Photo 677"></a>
For those of you who don't remember those halycon days of 2012, back before I had a job (no really), I once came up with a totally brilliant idea for a side blog project, and then never put any work into it again. It's called Cooking with Cat Ears, and details how completely shite I am at cooking.
But the cat ears help.
<cut text="How exactly, is explained beneath the cut. (spoiler alert, not actually true.)">Anyways, the zeroth step is always to put on some AWESOME LOUD MUSIC! We're gonna start with P!nk's "Raise Your Glass", and see where things go from there.
Tonight's dish is gonna be a hodge-podge of stuff I foolishly suggested to Amul, namely, pasta with pesto, chicken, and mixed veggies. Oooooooo. Mostly oooo because I have _basically never cooked meat before in my life, oh many shits.
Also oooo because I do not have a recipe. BUT! I WILL PREVAIL!
Step one, wash hands.
Step two, gather ingredients:
Wait, no, step one-point-five is "where's my goddamn apron?
And step one-point-seven-five is "what's in my pocket?"
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/88438917@N00/13300247305/" title="Photo 678 by Sorcyress, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7053/13300247305_545295dca9.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Photo 678"></a>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/88438917@N00/13300396413/" title="Photo 679 by Sorcyress, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3808/13300396413_d025026af1.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Photo 679"></a>
Ah. That's right, I forgot that I didn't eat all the szecuan peppercorns that I poured out (too many by accident) when I was at <user="timmc">'s house, and so I put the extras in my pocket for later. They've been through the wash! I wonder if that has affected their taste!
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/88438917@N00/13300613774/" title="Photo 680 by Sorcyress, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3828/13300613774_9ffff517de.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Photo 680"></a>
That goofy grin means "no, it has not affected the taste in the slightest, you just go ahead and weird out your mouth kiddo, what's the worst that could happen".
ANYWAYS! STEP TWO! GATHER INGREDIENTS!
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/88438917@N00/13300247185/" title="Photo 681 by Sorcyress, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3746/13300247185_7de62e0b6c.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Photo 681"></a>
That's frozen veggies and store bought pesto, because piss off, that's why. You can also see my awesome skull glass, and a thing filled with amazing trail mix that <lj user="42itous"> made for me 'cause she's the best.
Anywho, Amul suggested I boil the chicken, and cut it once its cooked, so I'm totally going to do that! One hundred percent!
...how does one boil a chicken? Oh goooo-gle!
Great, found a thing, this looks dead simple! Lemme just open this chicken up and...
...
...
...
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/88438917@N00/13300613704/" title="Photo 682 by Sorcyress, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7141/13300613704_cb71a0b48f.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Photo 682"></a>
Fuck.
I...I should've thawed the chicken. That is what I should've done. Okay. I am going to unpackage the chicken and stick it in some warm water for ten minutes. The internet would totally not lead me astray, right?
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/88438917@N00/13300613624/" title="Photo 683 by Sorcyress, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2870/13300613624_9c732b7339.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Photo 683"></a>
And THEN, I will take it out of the sink, and toss it on the boiler and bring the water to a boil at medium-high heat and then lower the heat and watch the chicken until it turns all white! OKAY I CAN DO THIS I CAN DO THIS (I totally cannot do this.)
At any rate, I'm making a box and a third of pasta, so I better get that water boiling.
This is a boring part of the cooking process. I believe I am going to spend the next ten minutes eating trail mix and dancing to Shriekback and Moxy Fruvous.
Or, unloading the dishwasher because I am a <s>REAL ADULT</s>good housemate.
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/88438917@N00/13300613494/" title="Photo 685 by Sorcyress, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2888/13300613494_9799591c9a.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Photo 685"></a>
*tentatively pokes chicken* Oh! Oh, that's getting pretty floppy, oh go--WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/88438917@N00/13300613414/" title="Photo 686 by Sorcyress, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2811/13300613414_ea54d4036c.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Photo 686"></a>
I don't know. I don't care. It has a terrible texture. The chicken package has no information. I am going to drop it in the sink and wash my hands forever.
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/88438917@N00/13300246765/" title="Photo 687 by Sorcyress, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7320/13300246765_f9d9873532.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Photo 687"></a>
(actually, because I am working with chicken and raw meat freaks me the fuck out, I am washing my hands approximately every third picture. This was just weird.
Oh.
<lj user="DHS"> suggests it's some form of thing to prevent odors or whatever. Probably harmless. O-okay then.
At any rate, the chicken is floppy, which the internet says is time to cook it.
Floppy proof:
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/88438917@N00/13300395823/" title="Photo 688 by Sorcyress, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3757/13300395823_f3bd812485.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Photo 688"></a>
And cooking!
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/88438917@N00/13300613314/" title="Photo 689 by Sorcyress, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3738/13300613314_b38e15147f.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Photo 689"></a>
(of <i>course</i> the pasta water boiled at the same time as the chicken was ready. Of <i>course</i>. But here they both are!)
Man, it's been like ten minutes and I am poking at the chicken with a chopstick and I think I may have totally ruined a package of chicken, and the chicken water isn't even boiling yet and goddamnit. I ruin everything I touch*
*in the kitchen.
Amul does not seem to share this belief, which is very kind of him. Anyways, time to do the veggies. Because you know what we own?
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/88438917@N00/13300246695/" title="Photo 691 by Sorcyress, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2841/13300246695_6efc0b0a95.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Photo 691"></a>
Pampered Chef awesomesauce veggie steamer. This thing is the greatest thing. I need to remember we own it more often, and get like two hundred frozen veggies to put in it. It's dead simple, add veggies, add water, nukerwave for three minutes, drain, serve. BAM!
Okay okay okay! Everyone came into the kitchen, and so between talking to real! live! people! and doing the quick "take everything off the stove" nonsense, I didn't really document the process. But I drained the pasta, which I've been doing forever, that part's easy, and pulled the chicken out of the pot and onto a cutting board with a fork.
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/88438917@N00/13300613184/" title="Photo 692 by Sorcyress, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7073/13300613184_201df67ba1.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Photo 692"></a>
Then I sliced the chicken, which was dead easy, because chicken and good knives. It turned out to be a little dry, but not actually bad! Huzzah!! </cut>
And here we have it:
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/88438917@N00/13300246515/" title="Photo 694 by Sorcyress, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2834/13300246515_1b1d3d0b87.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Photo 694"></a>
I have made a thing!
It's about damn time.
~Sor
MOOP!
Gee Sor, no! What is the ups?
I've got a delightful houseguest at the moment, and he's got a not at all delightful migrainey thing. Neither of us has eaten dinner yet. And I own a pair of goddamn cat ears.
Let's.
Do.
THIS!
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/88438917@N00/13300247345/" title="Photo 677 by Sorcyress, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3826/13300247345_23c0a97e59.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Photo 677"></a>
For those of you who don't remember those halycon days of 2012, back before I had a job (no really), I once came up with a totally brilliant idea for a side blog project, and then never put any work into it again. It's called Cooking with Cat Ears, and details how completely shite I am at cooking.
But the cat ears help.
<cut text="How exactly, is explained beneath the cut. (spoiler alert, not actually true.)">Anyways, the zeroth step is always to put on some AWESOME LOUD MUSIC! We're gonna start with P!nk's "Raise Your Glass", and see where things go from there.
Tonight's dish is gonna be a hodge-podge of stuff I foolishly suggested to Amul, namely, pasta with pesto, chicken, and mixed veggies. Oooooooo. Mostly oooo because I have _basically never cooked meat before in my life, oh many shits.
Also oooo because I do not have a recipe. BUT! I WILL PREVAIL!
Step one, wash hands.
Step two, gather ingredients:
Wait, no, step one-point-five is "where's my goddamn apron?
And step one-point-seven-five is "what's in my pocket?"
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/88438917@N00/13300247305/" title="Photo 678 by Sorcyress, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7053/13300247305_545295dca9.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Photo 678"></a>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/88438917@N00/13300396413/" title="Photo 679 by Sorcyress, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3808/13300396413_d025026af1.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Photo 679"></a>
Ah. That's right, I forgot that I didn't eat all the szecuan peppercorns that I poured out (too many by accident) when I was at <user="timmc">'s house, and so I put the extras in my pocket for later. They've been through the wash! I wonder if that has affected their taste!
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/88438917@N00/13300613774/" title="Photo 680 by Sorcyress, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3828/13300613774_9ffff517de.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Photo 680"></a>
That goofy grin means "no, it has not affected the taste in the slightest, you just go ahead and weird out your mouth kiddo, what's the worst that could happen".
ANYWAYS! STEP TWO! GATHER INGREDIENTS!
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/88438917@N00/13300247185/" title="Photo 681 by Sorcyress, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3746/13300247185_7de62e0b6c.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Photo 681"></a>
That's frozen veggies and store bought pesto, because piss off, that's why. You can also see my awesome skull glass, and a thing filled with amazing trail mix that <lj user="42itous"> made for me 'cause she's the best.
Anywho, Amul suggested I boil the chicken, and cut it once its cooked, so I'm totally going to do that! One hundred percent!
...how does one boil a chicken? Oh goooo-gle!
Great, found a thing, this looks dead simple! Lemme just open this chicken up and...
...
...
...
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/88438917@N00/13300613704/" title="Photo 682 by Sorcyress, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7141/13300613704_cb71a0b48f.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Photo 682"></a>
Fuck.
I...I should've thawed the chicken. That is what I should've done. Okay. I am going to unpackage the chicken and stick it in some warm water for ten minutes. The internet would totally not lead me astray, right?
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/88438917@N00/13300613624/" title="Photo 683 by Sorcyress, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2870/13300613624_9c732b7339.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Photo 683"></a>
And THEN, I will take it out of the sink, and toss it on the boiler and bring the water to a boil at medium-high heat and then lower the heat and watch the chicken until it turns all white! OKAY I CAN DO THIS I CAN DO THIS (I totally cannot do this.)
At any rate, I'm making a box and a third of pasta, so I better get that water boiling.
This is a boring part of the cooking process. I believe I am going to spend the next ten minutes eating trail mix and dancing to Shriekback and Moxy Fruvous.
Or, unloading the dishwasher because I am a <s>REAL ADULT</s>good housemate.
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/88438917@N00/13300613494/" title="Photo 685 by Sorcyress, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2888/13300613494_9799591c9a.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Photo 685"></a>
*tentatively pokes chicken* Oh! Oh, that's getting pretty floppy, oh go--WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/88438917@N00/13300613414/" title="Photo 686 by Sorcyress, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2811/13300613414_ea54d4036c.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Photo 686"></a>
I don't know. I don't care. It has a terrible texture. The chicken package has no information. I am going to drop it in the sink and wash my hands forever.
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/88438917@N00/13300246765/" title="Photo 687 by Sorcyress, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7320/13300246765_f9d9873532.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Photo 687"></a>
(actually, because I am working with chicken and raw meat freaks me the fuck out, I am washing my hands approximately every third picture. This was just weird.
Oh.
<lj user="DHS"> suggests it's some form of thing to prevent odors or whatever. Probably harmless. O-okay then.
At any rate, the chicken is floppy, which the internet says is time to cook it.
Floppy proof:
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/88438917@N00/13300395823/" title="Photo 688 by Sorcyress, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3757/13300395823_f3bd812485.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Photo 688"></a>
And cooking!
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/88438917@N00/13300613314/" title="Photo 689 by Sorcyress, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3738/13300613314_b38e15147f.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Photo 689"></a>
(of <i>course</i> the pasta water boiled at the same time as the chicken was ready. Of <i>course</i>. But here they both are!)
Man, it's been like ten minutes and I am poking at the chicken with a chopstick and I think I may have totally ruined a package of chicken, and the chicken water isn't even boiling yet and goddamnit. I ruin everything I touch*
*in the kitchen.
Amul does not seem to share this belief, which is very kind of him. Anyways, time to do the veggies. Because you know what we own?
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/88438917@N00/13300246695/" title="Photo 691 by Sorcyress, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2841/13300246695_6efc0b0a95.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Photo 691"></a>
Pampered Chef awesomesauce veggie steamer. This thing is the greatest thing. I need to remember we own it more often, and get like two hundred frozen veggies to put in it. It's dead simple, add veggies, add water, nukerwave for three minutes, drain, serve. BAM!
Okay okay okay! Everyone came into the kitchen, and so between talking to real! live! people! and doing the quick "take everything off the stove" nonsense, I didn't really document the process. But I drained the pasta, which I've been doing forever, that part's easy, and pulled the chicken out of the pot and onto a cutting board with a fork.
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/88438917@N00/13300613184/" title="Photo 692 by Sorcyress, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7073/13300613184_201df67ba1.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Photo 692"></a>
Then I sliced the chicken, which was dead easy, because chicken and good knives. It turned out to be a little dry, but not actually bad! Huzzah!! </cut>
And here we have it:
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/88438917@N00/13300246515/" title="Photo 694 by Sorcyress, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2834/13300246515_1b1d3d0b87.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Photo 694"></a>
I have made a thing!
It's about damn time.
~Sor
MOOP!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
on 2014-03-22 03:12 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2014-03-21 04:37 am (UTC)Also, +1 For Moxy Fruvous. I wish I had more of their music than I do. But for what it's worth, I'm telling you I was the King of Spain! =)
no subject
on 2014-03-21 09:54 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2014-03-22 03:10 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2014-03-22 05:42 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2014-03-24 04:00 am (UTC)