Delicious pornography!
Mar. 11th, 2014 04:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sorcyressAWRIGHT ALREADY! You hear there may be cold and gloomy weather coming back again? Well step right up, and get yerself cozy for something that'll warm the cockles of your...heart. I speak, of course, of the grand and glorious Less Than 31 Word Porn Entries, 2014!
(Yes, it's like two weeks later than they should be. Shut up!)
So. Beneath the cut, the porn!
(Content warnings for pregnancy, slightly dubious consent, BDSM, and ConLangs. Like, more than one of them. Editor’s and author's notes are in italics.
much porn writing
very hard
so sexy
wow
Clearly I should never actually give you folks ideas in my submissionspost, because you are all great. I am actually surprised this is the only instance of Doge though.
***
I smiled big and gazed up at the camera as I licked the jizz off Krystal's tits. If I screwed up another take, we'd have to shoot it again tomorrow...
***
delightfully sore from the weekend's activities, and now hopefully pregnant too
***
He didn't realize her invitation to go hiking was just an excuse to get him alone. The snow outside was cold. They weren't.
***
Coming up behind me you hold me, resting your chin on my shoulder, cupping my breasts. I have been wanting to be touched there since they started growing. I melt.
Editor: <3 <3 <3 <3!
***
ona li lon sewi mi. mi lon insa ona. ona li kalama suli; ni li pini e lape pi jan poka. ni li ike ala tawa mi mute.
Author sez: This is toki pona (http://en.tokipona.org/wiki/What_is_Toki_Pona%3F), a small constructed language of only 123 words. It is non-recursive (no subordinate clauses) and has gender-neutral pronouns and among other unusual features. I chose to write this one from the first person because mi and sina as subjects are not followed by the subject-verb separator li, reducing word count -- and because using third-person for both parties would lead to pronoun ambiguity. The gloss is: "They are at top of me. I am at inside of them. They make-noise loudly; this ends the sleep of the side-people. This is not bad to us." The translation is: "They are above me. I am inside them. Their shout wakes the neighbors. We don't mind.”
Editor: "They make-noise loudly; this ends the sleep of the side-people." is the greatest way of saying "whoops, woke the neighbors" I've ever heard.
***
Some days I make it three-quarters of the day before I find myself wanting to do anatomically impossible things to my significant other. Ah well, tentacles in my next life.
***
Did you know they make rope that conducts electricity? He begged for mercy in six languages before I turned off the violet wand and let him cum.
***
It was chocolate.
Custard was tricky--but worth it. The creamy texture, coupled with fruity notes and an earthy smell...
I took a spoonful, and the taste exploded within me.
***
Rope around her ankles, rope around her wrists, her head upon my shoulder, my fingers between her legs. This is just to sleep comfortably. But by morning we'll be horny.
***
The tiny blue pill
reduces my sex drive
even as it makes me feel more attractive.
Now I only get horny
when she does.
I'm all hers.
Author: [Okay, actually combining the effects of two pills, but one of them is tiny and blue.]
***
"Will you smash the patriarchy with me?"
"I thought you'd never ask."
Editor: any time you want!
***
"Well, if it's not drugs, and it's not money, and it's not contraband of any sort, I suppose you'll have to put it back where you found it, won't you?"
***
The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door... on the other side were three horny Playboy bunnies.
Editor note: Author mentioned it was based on http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knock_(short_story). I am actually super-okay with the trend of retelling great stories pornographically and in brief.
***
I felt her quiver, inside, with every drop I spilled. I didn't let her come until I'd scraped every last fleck of cooled wax from her breasts.
***
"Oh, baby, fuck me, I want to feel your cock in my tight pussy," she said, by way of asking for a ball gag. She knew I hated porn dialogue.
***
"Eating a hot dog together? That's sexy?"
"Eating it naked. Let's just try it."
They met in the middle.
Later...
"Ok, that was..."
"I hope I was too distracting, dear."
***
We, fucking.
***
"A gentleman does not bring a lady to orgasm solely using his tongue and tell."
***
007 knew the bedroom was bugged and watched, but he got the message across undetected by swelling his cock inside his contact to make morse code. She replied with kegels.
***
Logon to 4Chan
Gahh! My Eyes! Turn display off.
Porn is dead to me.
***
Eshay okeway ecausebay e'dshay iedtray otay ollray veroway niway erhay eepslay nahay ouldn'tcay. inkingblay, eshay ealizedray eshay asway ownay akednay nahey oundbay. Ahay anmay asway andingstay veroway erhay. Eshay iledsmay.
Author: (Translation: She woke because she'd tried to roll over in her sleep and couldn't. Blinking, she realized she was now naked and bound. A man was standing over her. She smiled.)
Editor: Don’t think I don’t see what you did there.
***
"Fillipuds.", Bloodwing explained as the pseudopod prodded at my shoulder, "Don't worry, they'll leave us alone as long as no one here has a tentacle fetish." I swallowed nervously.
Editor: I have no idea why I got two separate pro-tentacle porns, but I do not mind like at all.
***
Hot.
Wet.
Sticky...
Breathing...
Nuts in hand...final joy nears.
Eyes closed: savoring...licking forbidden nectar, tasting the salty-sweet fruits of our labor.
Geez! We're only making peanut brittle.
***
To expect gravity acting in one place, only to experience it in another, is disconcerting. To expect flesh between your legs and get flesh across your chest, is just frustrating.
***
"And that was when I discovered he wasn't Jewish."
***
Rozoj estas ruĝaj
Violoj estas bluaj
Mi verkis por vi tiu pornografiaĵon en Esperanto
Mi ŝatas via botojn - Ni fiku!
Editor: *grumbles about having to do the translations herself. (because trusting you guys totally won't eventually result in disaster.)*
Ahem:
“Roses are red
Violets are blue
I wrote you this porn in Esperanto
Nice boots - let’s fuck!”
***
She had promised, she had PROMISED that I'd be allowed to cum tonight as long as I had finished writing my essay, and all I needed was this goddamn conclusion.
***
"mi wile pilin e monsi anpa sina."
Editor: More Toki Pona. This one was their backup submission —it translates roughly to “I want to touch your butt.”
***
Accursed geography that keeps us apart! But it does teach us how to make text much hotter. Bite me again, my love, while I stroke you.
***
I start the process of putting makeup on. Because with it, I can smile, fanged white between carmine lips, and prove pretty can be as painful as power.
Ed: Yessss.
***
If a snow angel is what you make when you flail in the snow supine, is it a snow succubus/incubus if you've dented the snow by fucking on it?
Number of Porns: 32 (was 26 until I realized there were 4 more on Dreamwidth and two more from last year. Yay!). Y'all are gradually falling down on the job, and I don't know how to fix it. I guess Tumblr isn't too ill-suited --you could all anon-submit to me pretty easily over there. But damnit livejournal. Stop dying.
New Languages: Igpay Atinlay, Toki Pona, Esperanto, and yes, Dogespeak.
New Fandoms: James Bond!
New Poetry: Nothing new, but another quatrain and another haiku.
Still awesome: Still awesome.
One thing I've never talked about is how I randomize them. I always do, as one more layer of protection --I toss them all in a (roughly chronological) file, and then sit there with a d20 and hop my way through the list. Sometimes I do a little bit of work to randomize the starting point, and I will occasionally bend bits and pieces so certain ones are in a proper order, but overall, it's just a very soothing process.
As always, please leave comments telling the authors that they rock and they've written things
that made you smile, horny, pleased.
And thank you all for participating. Reading, writing, sharing, anything.
~Sor
MOOP!
(Yes, it's like two weeks later than they should be. Shut up!)
So. Beneath the cut, the porn!
(Content warnings for pregnancy, slightly dubious consent, BDSM, and ConLangs. Like, more than one of them. Editor’s and author's notes are in italics.
much porn writing
very hard
so sexy
wow
Clearly I should never actually give you folks ideas in my submissionspost, because you are all great. I am actually surprised this is the only instance of Doge though.
***
I smiled big and gazed up at the camera as I licked the jizz off Krystal's tits. If I screwed up another take, we'd have to shoot it again tomorrow...
***
delightfully sore from the weekend's activities, and now hopefully pregnant too
***
He didn't realize her invitation to go hiking was just an excuse to get him alone. The snow outside was cold. They weren't.
***
Coming up behind me you hold me, resting your chin on my shoulder, cupping my breasts. I have been wanting to be touched there since they started growing. I melt.
Editor: <3 <3 <3 <3!
***
ona li lon sewi mi. mi lon insa ona. ona li kalama suli; ni li pini e lape pi jan poka. ni li ike ala tawa mi mute.
Author sez: This is toki pona (http://en.tokipona.org/wiki/What_is_Toki_Pona%3F), a small constructed language of only 123 words. It is non-recursive (no subordinate clauses) and has gender-neutral pronouns and among other unusual features. I chose to write this one from the first person because mi and sina as subjects are not followed by the subject-verb separator li, reducing word count -- and because using third-person for both parties would lead to pronoun ambiguity. The gloss is: "They are at top of me. I am at inside of them. They make-noise loudly; this ends the sleep of the side-people. This is not bad to us." The translation is: "They are above me. I am inside them. Their shout wakes the neighbors. We don't mind.”
Editor: "They make-noise loudly; this ends the sleep of the side-people." is the greatest way of saying "whoops, woke the neighbors" I've ever heard.
***
Some days I make it three-quarters of the day before I find myself wanting to do anatomically impossible things to my significant other. Ah well, tentacles in my next life.
***
Did you know they make rope that conducts electricity? He begged for mercy in six languages before I turned off the violet wand and let him cum.
***
It was chocolate.
Custard was tricky--but worth it. The creamy texture, coupled with fruity notes and an earthy smell...
I took a spoonful, and the taste exploded within me.
***
Rope around her ankles, rope around her wrists, her head upon my shoulder, my fingers between her legs. This is just to sleep comfortably. But by morning we'll be horny.
***
The tiny blue pill
reduces my sex drive
even as it makes me feel more attractive.
Now I only get horny
when she does.
I'm all hers.
Author: [Okay, actually combining the effects of two pills, but one of them is tiny and blue.]
***
"Will you smash the patriarchy with me?"
"I thought you'd never ask."
Editor: any time you want!
***
"Well, if it's not drugs, and it's not money, and it's not contraband of any sort, I suppose you'll have to put it back where you found it, won't you?"
***
The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door... on the other side were three horny Playboy bunnies.
Editor note: Author mentioned it was based on http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knock_(short_story). I am actually super-okay with the trend of retelling great stories pornographically and in brief.
***
I felt her quiver, inside, with every drop I spilled. I didn't let her come until I'd scraped every last fleck of cooled wax from her breasts.
***
"Oh, baby, fuck me, I want to feel your cock in my tight pussy," she said, by way of asking for a ball gag. She knew I hated porn dialogue.
***
"Eating a hot dog together? That's sexy?"
"Eating it naked. Let's just try it."
They met in the middle.
Later...
"Ok, that was..."
"I hope I was too distracting, dear."
***
We, fucking.
***
"A gentleman does not bring a lady to orgasm solely using his tongue and tell."
***
007 knew the bedroom was bugged and watched, but he got the message across undetected by swelling his cock inside his contact to make morse code. She replied with kegels.
***
Logon to 4Chan
Gahh! My Eyes! Turn display off.
Porn is dead to me.
***
Eshay okeway ecausebay e'dshay iedtray otay ollray veroway niway erhay eepslay nahay ouldn'tcay. inkingblay, eshay ealizedray eshay asway ownay akednay nahey oundbay. Ahay anmay asway andingstay veroway erhay. Eshay iledsmay.
Author: (Translation: She woke because she'd tried to roll over in her sleep and couldn't. Blinking, she realized she was now naked and bound. A man was standing over her. She smiled.)
Editor: Don’t think I don’t see what you did there.
***
"Fillipuds.", Bloodwing explained as the pseudopod prodded at my shoulder, "Don't worry, they'll leave us alone as long as no one here has a tentacle fetish." I swallowed nervously.
Editor: I have no idea why I got two separate pro-tentacle porns, but I do not mind like at all.
***
Hot.
Wet.
Sticky...
Breathing...
Nuts in hand...final joy nears.
Eyes closed: savoring...licking forbidden nectar, tasting the salty-sweet fruits of our labor.
Geez! We're only making peanut brittle.
***
To expect gravity acting in one place, only to experience it in another, is disconcerting. To expect flesh between your legs and get flesh across your chest, is just frustrating.
***
"And that was when I discovered he wasn't Jewish."
***
Rozoj estas ruĝaj
Violoj estas bluaj
Mi verkis por vi tiu pornografiaĵon en Esperanto
Mi ŝatas via botojn - Ni fiku!
Editor: *grumbles about having to do the translations herself. (because trusting you guys totally won't eventually result in disaster.)*
Ahem:
“Roses are red
Violets are blue
I wrote you this porn in Esperanto
Nice boots - let’s fuck!”
***
She had promised, she had PROMISED that I'd be allowed to cum tonight as long as I had finished writing my essay, and all I needed was this goddamn conclusion.
***
"mi wile pilin e monsi anpa sina."
Editor: More Toki Pona. This one was their backup submission —it translates roughly to “I want to touch your butt.”
***
Accursed geography that keeps us apart! But it does teach us how to make text much hotter. Bite me again, my love, while I stroke you.
***
I start the process of putting makeup on. Because with it, I can smile, fanged white between carmine lips, and prove pretty can be as painful as power.
Ed: Yessss.
***
If a snow angel is what you make when you flail in the snow supine, is it a snow succubus/incubus if you've dented the snow by fucking on it?
Number of Porns: 32 (was 26 until I realized there were 4 more on Dreamwidth and two more from last year. Yay!). Y'all are gradually falling down on the job, and I don't know how to fix it. I guess Tumblr isn't too ill-suited --you could all anon-submit to me pretty easily over there. But damnit livejournal. Stop dying.
New Languages: Igpay Atinlay, Toki Pona, Esperanto, and yes, Dogespeak.
New Fandoms: James Bond!
New Poetry: Nothing new, but another quatrain and another haiku.
Still awesome: Still awesome.
One thing I've never talked about is how I randomize them. I always do, as one more layer of protection --I toss them all in a (roughly chronological) file, and then sit there with a d20 and hop my way through the list. Sometimes I do a little bit of work to randomize the starting point, and I will occasionally bend bits and pieces so certain ones are in a proper order, but overall, it's just a very soothing process.
As always, please leave comments telling the authors that they rock and they've written things
that made you smile, horny, pleased.
And thank you all for participating. Reading, writing, sharing, anything.
~Sor
MOOP!
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