I made cookies!

[sorcyress]

Hey beasts. It's cooking time. I am going to make some pumpkin chocolate chip cookies that, if they turn out a third as good as Ria usually makes them, will knock you off their feet with how goddamn delicious they are.

I've got music, fuzzy socks, a recipe, and cat ears. Let's rock the hell out of this adventure!


(No, I wasn't joking about the cat ears. Also, the light in my kitchen is _terrible_)

First step: Find stuff. Find ALL the stuff, since it looks like I'm making a double batch.

Nowait: First step: Make sure the music is both cranked and epic. Today we're starting (and repeatedly returning) to Savior of the Dreaming Dead¹, because it is epic in all the right ways. I like epic in all the right ways.

Second step: Find stuff. CHECK!


Hot damn, that already looks delicious.

Step three or something: Wash my hands like a good cook. Also, find the stuff that isn't edible. Wait. What the hell. Why do we only have two cookie sheets? And no mixing bowls. I will have to fix this sometime.

Step four: Preheat oven.

Step five: MIX COOKIES! This is the point where I remind the viewers that I don't know how to cook. "Cream the butter and sugar"?! What does this mean??


This is my butter. I am using two different brands, which is probably blasphemy.

(I think it means "make butter a little softer and mix it real good with the sugar. Wait! I have google! Hahahah!

Oh holy fuck this is terrifying. Also, butter is supposed to be room temperature? I don't know how to do that, except leave it out for a while. I...I guess I could do that while I go shopping or something.

Oh thank god, there are secrets for that as well. Hey wait, I even knew the grating one (from hanging out with Herbert the other week.)

I have a good knife. Let's chop the butter into pieces and reply to e-mail while we wait!)


Cutting through butter? Harder than you'd think, actually.

Step Next: WASH AND DRY THE KNIFE. If you want to own good knives, young person, you have to take care of them. Thems the breaks.

Step Next-next: Leave a bowl of delicious bite-sized chunks of butter just...uh...just sitting there. Next to you. For ten minutes.

*swallows nervously*


No, no licking of the butter actually occurred. I am not *that* bad at cooking. More importantly, I am hoping to share these cookies, and well behaved chefs do not give germs to their friends.

Step seven: Okay, I responded to an e-mail, and I have to leave in like two hours. let's MAKE SOME COOKIES!

Step seven-A: Cream the butter and sugar.

Oh donkeys.

*ten minutes later*
HOLY FUCK THIS IS MURDER ON THE ARMS.

Why don't I own a stand mixer? Ohright. Because I don't actually cook. Or bake. Damn. Next time I go on this sort of adventure, I'm asking Herbert if I can do it at her place.


This is as creamy as it's getting. We don't have any sort of mixer, and I am not going to kill myself over these cookies.

Step eight: Keep mixing things until I have cookies!


I now have orange glop.

Step more: Sift together the flour salt bak...wait.

"sift"?

Oh for fuck's sake, Sorky. TO GOOGLE!

Oh Christ-balls. Do we even OWN a sifter?

*EXPLORES THE WHOLE KITCHEN!*

We own a tea strainer? Is that close enough? No? Looks like "sift" means "beat thoroughly with a fork". NTS: Buy more flour.


*sifts with a fork, like a boss*

Next step seems to be "combine dry and wet ingredients". I can do that.


It is at this point in our story that our heroine finally determines that she should probably be wearing an apron, and that she happens to *have* an apron, that mek got her years ago. Bonus!


Dear mom and dad: For Christmas I want an electric mixerthingy, like the one we have in The Empty City. It would make my entire life better.

Step second to lastish: And I quote, from the recipe: "As many. Fucking. Bags. Of chocolate chunks. You can fit. In this batter. Preferably dark chocolate. Ghirardelli is your sexy friend if you feel like going all out. "


Challenge.


Accepted.

Step also next-to-lastish: Cook.

6:27 -- first batch in. Someone remind me to check in 7 or 8 minutes. In the meantime, it is CLEANUPTIME!

*FRET FRET FRET FRET FRET FRET FRET*

I am going to be very sad if these turn out horrible and everyone hates them.

Another minute or two. FRET FRET FRET FRET FRET FRET.


It's blurry because fretting involves a lot of nervous energy.

...what is that delicious smell?! :O

Okay. Toothpick says cookies need a bit more time, but I can turn the fretting down a few degrees. Also, I have so much batter. SO MUCH you guys. I might not have time to make all of these before Squares, which would be bad.

*blames the fact that she slept forever and also has she seriously been cooking for an hour and a half ohmygod, kill me now.*

OHGOD THEY ARE OUT OF THE OVEN BUT STILL TOO HOT TO EAT
OH GOD
I CAN'T COOK
WHAT AM I DOING
OH GOD
OH GOD
OHG--

*slaps self solidly across the face*

Okay, we're better now.

Note to future self: Chocolate melts EVERYWHERE. Also, you used a little bit too much of spices.

Texture is pretty much perfect though.

I should eat real food before I go to Squares.

Huh. Okay then.


Here is a batch before I put it in the oven. Nurit says they are a little too squishy (we are adjusting things to try and compensate) but definitely taste like pumpkin and the chocolate is good.

Okay. All the cookies are cooling or in the oven. Time to go get ready for Squares. I'll take a picture of the finished product, and then post all this when I get home tonight.

Totally more productive than writing for WriMo.

*************

Oh whoops, forgot to take a picture of all of them. Here instead is a picture of all the ones we have left:



They are delicious. They were gone halfway through Squares, and I brought sixty of them. I'm pretty much gonna go ahead and call this Cooking Adventure a success!

And now I eat dinner and write some WriMoNo².

And yeah. I can officially make cookies like a boss!

~Sor
MOOP!

1: OF COURSE it's from Homestuck. And I feel no guilt or shame in this fact whatsoever. And I am going to listen to other stuff.

2: I don't call it "NaNo", because that doesn't make any sense if you unabbreviate it. So I typically call the month "WriMo" for short. Obviously my WriMoNo is my Writing Month Novel! It has 1270 words so far. YAYYYY!

Pee-dot-ess-dot. Because the recipe just *happened* to have been lying around in Ria's tumblr...

Comments

[bodger]

Step seven: Okay, I responded to an e-mail,

You actually answered an e-mail???

[lex-of-green.livejournal.com]

This post has me drooling. I just licked my monitor. It did not taste like cookies. That's probably a good thing, as I don't really want to eat my computer screen. I don't think. But. COOKIES.

Nomnomnom.

[kdsorceress.livejournal.com]

:D

I will have to make some and send them to you sometime!

~Sor

[mekthehatter.livejournal.com]

My trick for getting butter to room temperature quickly (because I always end up baking on impulse and so never actually have time to leave the butter out for a while) is to put it on the toaster for a bit. I prefer that to putting it in the microwave because I can keep a better eye on it.
(Obviously it is still in the wrapper when I put it on top of the toaster)

I am a hypocrite and still call it NaNo. This makes me a hypocrite because I get really irritated when people call MMORPGs MMOs.

I am suspicious of combining pumpkin and chocolate. I think you'll have to try to convert me.

[kdsorceress.livejournal.com]

I think that is just a plot to get me to make cookies.

That's a pretty good trick though, with the toaster. Except our toaster is a hellbeast. I suppose I could put it near the oven-which-is-always-on, that might work.

~Sor

[mekthehatter.livejournal.com]

But is it a plot that is working?

[bluecannery.livejournal.com]

But it has le pumpkin in it. (And that, in a nutshell, is why people with OCD can't have nice things unless a therapist makes them. (Srsly. Not kidding on this at all. (At least my therapist is ordering me to play with Pokemans. (Not kidding on this either. (You want to know why now, don't you? (Oh, man, I'm totally gonna forget to close out a few of these parenthesis. (Not that I remember to close them out normally. (Note to self: finish math homework. (Note to self: start math homework. (There'd be less pressure if my teacher's daughter didn't play Star Wars with me. (Not that there's that much pressure to start with. I only need to get 80% for it to count as full. (That's for online. She doesn't even check written. (Unless she thought "Why are you shotputting lying down?" was a legitimate answer.) (I did start written, at least. (And by start, I mean complete about five problems before getting distracted. (Woah! A second parenthesis stream!))))) Yes, of course I'm a wookiee. (The best wookiee evar! (All wookiees are pretty great, of course. (Except madclaws. *shudders*))))) (Note to self: start film homework. (But I need to find that flashdrive and it's late! (Wait, is that even on the flash drive? Isaiah might be holding it ransom.) (There is that other homework to do, as well.))))) (I think I'm doing well so far, at least. (Man, you might need a map to read this one. (Or just skip over it. That's always an option.))))))) (Or any vidjamagame, really. Pokemans is just more fun to say.))))

And this, my friends, is why I'm behind already with NaNoWriMo. That's why it's Procrastination With Purpose Month over here.

[nurrynur.livejournal.com]

yes we have mixing bowls and there are THREE cookie sheets- which you eventually found 'cuz you were using all three of them

There are at least 4 mixing bowls.. two white plastic ones and two stainless steel bowls

plus the giant blue bowl which I'm not sure where it is at the moment...

[nurrynur.livejournal.com]

Well, maybe you don't consider my mixing bowls to be mixing bowls because they lack some definitive quality of mixing bowls, like, uhhhhhh...pony destabilizers?

You can mix things in them, therefore they are mixing bowls. I rest my case.