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Jul. 22nd, 2011 04:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sorcyressA/N: This gets meandery. Sorry.
Sometimes I think society does not want me to show off that I am happy.
I get worried about being excited and squeeful about the simple adventures I have with the people I love. "And then we went to the science museum, and held hands as we watched the lightning show." is not a story in any artistic sense. There's no plot, no complication, no climax and denouement. He didn't have to change himself to get my love. I didn't have to create a wildly over-the-top romantic gesture. We are just two people who found each other, and then he was in town and we went to the science museum and held hands. And it made us happy.
And that's the important part. Our story doesn't have to play into the cynical stereotypes of miscommunication and drama that form the world's perception of how romantic relationships are "meant" to go. There is another boy I am with, who I have had almost eleven months of very intense NewToy energy with. We snuggle up to each other on the subway, and kiss each other on the head, the neck, the cheek. We tell each other how much we love, and how happy we are to be together. And I'm so fucking pleased as punch about this, and it takes a lot to not just constantly make squeeful posts about the lovely things we've been up to.
But why don't I? Because I get worried about being shmoopy, about being viewed as love-sick and silly. The world is cynical right now and we're trapped in a place where liking something genuinely is not as common as liking it ironically. Relationships especially, are all always doomed to fail. You will never just meet your One True Soulmate and true love isn't real, after all.
And okay, maybe some sort of true love everlasting isn't real, in the sense that you can't go out and instantly find it. But even if you can't find it, maybe you can make it. Time and energy and trust. Respect and support. Being patient enough to find the connections, and wait when you have to, until everything is able to work out. Maybe we are shmoopy, not from some magic of having found the right person, but from some combination of time and patience and love. We have worked together to create a wonderful relationship, and fuckit, why *shouldn't* I be pleased as punch about that?
Sometimes I get worried about wanting to be shmoopy. Romance and Practicality sit on my shoulders some days, and argue like the devils and angels of yore. The argument makes my touches shy, my posture withdrawn, silencing the words I'd rather spill. "I love you" is too silly to say to some boys, when what is love anyways but a complicated chemical reaction, lacking sense or reason.
But you know what? In all the cases of silence, in all the places where I worry of narrative strength, or cynicism, or reason? Fuck the haters. I am happy and they are happy and we are happy together.
And there's not a single thing the world can do about that.
~Sor
MOOP!
Sometimes I think society does not want me to show off that I am happy.
I get worried about being excited and squeeful about the simple adventures I have with the people I love. "And then we went to the science museum, and held hands as we watched the lightning show." is not a story in any artistic sense. There's no plot, no complication, no climax and denouement. He didn't have to change himself to get my love. I didn't have to create a wildly over-the-top romantic gesture. We are just two people who found each other, and then he was in town and we went to the science museum and held hands. And it made us happy.
And that's the important part. Our story doesn't have to play into the cynical stereotypes of miscommunication and drama that form the world's perception of how romantic relationships are "meant" to go. There is another boy I am with, who I have had almost eleven months of very intense NewToy energy with. We snuggle up to each other on the subway, and kiss each other on the head, the neck, the cheek. We tell each other how much we love, and how happy we are to be together. And I'm so fucking pleased as punch about this, and it takes a lot to not just constantly make squeeful posts about the lovely things we've been up to.
But why don't I? Because I get worried about being shmoopy, about being viewed as love-sick and silly. The world is cynical right now and we're trapped in a place where liking something genuinely is not as common as liking it ironically. Relationships especially, are all always doomed to fail. You will never just meet your One True Soulmate and true love isn't real, after all.
And okay, maybe some sort of true love everlasting isn't real, in the sense that you can't go out and instantly find it. But even if you can't find it, maybe you can make it. Time and energy and trust. Respect and support. Being patient enough to find the connections, and wait when you have to, until everything is able to work out. Maybe we are shmoopy, not from some magic of having found the right person, but from some combination of time and patience and love. We have worked together to create a wonderful relationship, and fuckit, why *shouldn't* I be pleased as punch about that?
Sometimes I get worried about wanting to be shmoopy. Romance and Practicality sit on my shoulders some days, and argue like the devils and angels of yore. The argument makes my touches shy, my posture withdrawn, silencing the words I'd rather spill. "I love you" is too silly to say to some boys, when what is love anyways but a complicated chemical reaction, lacking sense or reason.
But you know what? In all the cases of silence, in all the places where I worry of narrative strength, or cynicism, or reason? Fuck the haters. I am happy and they are happy and we are happy together.
And there's not a single thing the world can do about that.
~Sor
MOOP!
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on 2011-07-23 07:54 pm (UTC)thanks for articulating that.
liking things ironically, i think, means that people make fun of things. in this case, making fun of people who are in happy relationships, or being in a relationship that you think is doomed to fail is "ironic", most likely, because people are scared. they're scared because the idea of a relationship has changed, and someone can be in a relationship for a very short period of time. it's become some kind of new "norm", and with that "normal" idea comes the "abnormal" idea that people can love each other for a very long time, and not get bored with each other.
to give an anecdote from queer as folk, which is what i'm really into, at the moment: one of the characters has an entire relationship in one night. the characters meet, talk, get to know each other, kind of fall in love but not really, talk about what kind of house they're going to have in the country, and then one of the guys sees another man and decides to go off with him.
because everything in the world has sped up (things change with time), relationships have now sped up, too.