(no subject)

[sorcyress]

Looking for input:

1) Is there a good non-gendered, or gender-inclusive word that could provide about the same connotations as "gentleman"?

(A friend asked this on Flife, and it occurs to me that this would be a useful word for my life. Neither he nor I thinks "gentleperson" satisfies.)

2) So, a boy-shaped friend of mine asked recently if I had any suggestions for how to indicate "I am not a bad guy" when walking late at night near (specifically, but it could certainly be generalized) single¹ women. His biggest concern was what happens when he is walking at about the same pace as a woman, and behind her, such as to seem like he is following her (rather than both going in the same direction).

(Obviously walking the opposite direction from someone is easy to indicate "safe" --make eye contact, smile, maybe say "good evening" and keep walking.)

Oh, damn. Only now it occurs to me that I could've suggested he switch sides of the street, assuming the area is safe to do so. I mean...there's still the following problem, but especially if the woman is aware of you switching sides, there's an indication of giving space.

More suggestions?

~Sor
MOOP!

1: As in, "only one" not "unpartnered"

Comments

[nurrynur.livejournal.com]

+1 mensch

+1 crossing the street, or speeding up to pass while saying excuse me, or stopping for a minute to poke phone to give her some distance

[austein]

There seem to be a number of suggestions along which amount to "stop walking at the same pace". In terms of how to make that seem harmless, I'm not sure there's much you can do.

I get paranoid about little (male or female) kids walking behind me, though not little old ladies. When people are talking on their phone I wonder if they're just doing it for show.

If I'm feeling paranoid about a particular behavior, regardless of body shape, there's not much that will make that stop short of the behavior itself stopping.