(no subject)

[sorcyress]

Dear women* of the world:

If an action would be inappropriate if it was a male performing it on a female, this means it is also inappropriate if it is a female performing it on a female.

Or in less subtle terms, get your fucking hands away from my goddamn tits, especially if I hardly know you. Your random faux-groping of my chest? Is neither cute nor funny, it's uncomfortable, and now that I've actually clicked that it's sexual harassment, I will be reacting supremely unfavorably next time it occurs.

No love
Kat

*Why is this post to the women of the world and not to the men? Because thus far, I have never had a male acquaintance grab, or pretend to grab, my breasts. I'd love to keep it that way.

ETA: This is not to say that I am always against groping all the time. But I'd like it to have a reason, and I'd be overjoyed if you would ask for permission first. You know, like a decent human being and not a slimeball.

Comments

[tirerim.livejournal.com]

I think there's a definite perception among some people that some actions are more ok if the genders and preferences of the people involved mean that they couldn't be interpreted sexually. Possibly because some people actually are more okay with certain things in those circumstances. I don't think that's necessarily illogical, or at least not problematically so, since people don't really need to justify their reactions to being touched, in either direction. The problems come when assumptions are made about other people's preferences and levels of comfort.

(Hopefully that wasn't so vague that it won't make sense to anyone but me...)

[lyrwen.livejournal.com]

Not vague at all :) And yes, whether it's logical or not, that could well be it.

[herbertinc.livejournal.com]

I definitely get this. Generally while I may or may not be situationally comfortable with a straight girl grabbing my chest, it is rare that it makes me feel threatened. In general, it is my personal form of sexism that I will always be threatened more by unwanted male advances than unwanted female ones, and will never shrug off male groping the way I do female groping.

Knowing that I have probably groped you (and I mean kdsorceress, not you "lj user="tirerim">) in the past, since I'm known to do that sort of thing, I very much apologize if I made you uncomfortable, and I will refrain from it in the future without first obtaining your verbal permission. Though I will not retract my opinion that you (again, kdsorceress) have extremely nice breasts.

Love,
Herbert.

P.S. You (both kdsorceressand tirerim) have standing permission to grab my breasts when not vastly situationally inappropriate.

[kdsorceress.livejournal.com]

You've always been fine. As I recall various situations where you have groped me, you have always given me an indication that you wished to do so, and I invited the touch, for silliness, or whathaveyou. That, and I consider myself to know you decently well --I would certainly never describe you as merely an acquaintance, like some of the cases I am referring to.

~Sor