I guess that means I have to actually write it instead of letting it slide. Okay, here goes...
I don't really draw boundaries like that -- but then I don't exactly want to schtupp anyone either... which seems kind of like the defining difference between platonic and non-platonic.
...which I think is because of the gender dysphoria -- if I want your body, I mean it literally: you have 30 days to find another host for your brain, I'm moving in after that. (Well, okay, I wouldn't actually evict anyone; I'm a lousy mad scientist.) In real life, this seems to translate into a sort of wistful but intense nurturing feeling (towards those to whom I am attracted) which I can't really turn off. (Usually the nurturing is positive, but I sometimes have to stop myself from wanting them to express {who I'd be if I were them} instead of who they actually are.)
(It used to translate into a lot of other stuff -- wanting desperately to live with them, be with them every minute of the day, be constantly in physical contact, hide behind them wherever possible, I could probably go on but will spare you -- which I thought must be what other people meant by "love", since so many of the symptoms were the same. It seems related, but I think it must actually be substantially different. Not knowing what that-kind-of-"love" means to other people, though, I couldn't say what that difference was.)
However, I can't really say I've ever been in the reverse situation: having someone say they were attracted to me when I wasn't attracted to them. I don't know what that's like, so I can't easily imagine how my feelings for them would be affected.
I tend to be attracted to a lot of people (always female, usually young initially but it doesn't seem to go away as they get older) and I generally just don't say anything beyond what seems platonically* correct... because while I might very much enjoy a good snuggle (naked or otherwise), I seriously don't expect even that much to happen (especially not without getting tangled up in mistakenly assumed schtupping intentions), and -- perhaps more importantly -- I know that what my gender-dysphoricized drives actually want is simply impossible, due to my current physical misconfiguration.
And that's probably/maybe not what Harena was expecting, but that's what I was thinking. (There are some other little tangent-thoughts I could pursue, but if I start writing about them now I'll never actually finish this.)
(* spellcheck wants this to be "Platonic ally". Is it trying to tell me something?)
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ninetydegrees
oh frak
on 2009-01-24 08:22 pm (UTC)I don't really draw boundaries like that -- but then I don't exactly want to schtupp anyone either... which seems kind of like the defining difference between platonic and non-platonic.
...which I think is because of the gender dysphoria -- if I want your body, I mean it literally: you have 30 days to find another host for your brain, I'm moving in after that. (Well, okay, I wouldn't actually evict anyone; I'm a lousy mad scientist.) In real life, this seems to translate into a sort of wistful but intense nurturing feeling (towards those to whom I am attracted) which I can't really turn off. (Usually the nurturing is positive, but I sometimes have to stop myself from wanting them to express {who I'd be if I were them} instead of who they actually are.)
(It used to translate into a lot of other stuff -- wanting desperately to live with them, be with them every minute of the day, be constantly in physical contact, hide behind them wherever possible, I could probably go on but will spare you -- which I thought must be what other people meant by "love", since so many of the symptoms were the same. It seems related, but I think it must actually be substantially different. Not knowing what that-kind-of-"love" means to other people, though, I couldn't say what that difference was.)
However, I can't really say I've ever been in the reverse situation: having someone say they were attracted to me when I wasn't attracted to them. I don't know what that's like, so I can't easily imagine how my feelings for them would be affected.
I tend to be attracted to a lot of people (always female, usually young initially but it doesn't seem to go away as they get older) and I generally just don't say anything beyond what seems platonically* correct... because while I might very much enjoy a good snuggle (naked or otherwise), I seriously don't expect even that much to happen (especially not without getting tangled up in mistakenly assumed schtupping intentions), and -- perhaps more importantly -- I know that what my gender-dysphoricized drives actually want is simply impossible, due to my current physical misconfiguration.
And that's probably/maybe not what Harena was expecting, but that's what I was thinking. (There are some other little tangent-thoughts I could pursue, but if I start writing about them now I'll never actually finish this.)
(* spellcheck wants this to be "Platonic ally". Is it trying to tell me something?)