Jan. 24th, 2017

sorcyress: Picture of a smiling tampon with the phrase "Girls: We're so emo we don't even NEED to cut ourselves" (Emo-period)
So, concrete things to help me right now (since it seems puriant1useful to make some posts that are...you know. Not written while sobbing.)

1) Catch me via text or IM for casual conversation throughout the day. (one of the downfalls of working with a 2-year old for a living is that I get precious little adult interaction, and I forget how damn lonely that can be. Normally I at least see my coworkers at lunch, with the Rbeast, I meet other parents and nannies sometimes, but I'm dreadful bad at connecting with random strange adults.

(I'm typically awake from about 0600-2300 on weekdays, and 1000-0100 on weekends. I'm nannying at least eight of those hours, plus dance etc, so I may be slow to reply but I like text based conversations)

2) Catch me via text or IM during non-work hours to check in on me and ask me if there's a productive step I can take. (If things are going well, I may tell you that I've already done a productive step for the day, see point one.) ((productive steps are likely to be about: grad school, dance management stuff, job hunting, room cleaning --feel free to be specific or ask about another known topic!))

(nonwork hours are typically from 1600-2300 on weekdays, and 1000-0100 on weekends. On Mondays and Wednesdays, I dance in the evenings, and will be less around and more exhausted.)

3) Physically interact with me in a productive way with us in the same space. Optimal for me right now is you coming to my place, doing something productive of your own on my bed (or hell, something non-productive, I don't care) while I do something productive either in my room or on my computer. Once the weather gets less damn├ęd depressing, and I actually feel like I can bike places without arriving soggy and self-loathing, I can offer to do the same at your place.

Please be willing to schedule these productivity dates 2-3 weeks in advance. My calendar is weird and uncomfortably often full.

4) Trade accountability pings with me. This is sortof a weird thought, but the idea is that I and you would establish that we each ping the other at a certain time each (week?)day to check that some basic daily task has been completed. Like, I would ask you to ping me between noon and 2pm to ask me if I've had lunch, and I would ping you at 10pm to remind you to go to bed OR WHATEVER.

I haven't fully fleshed out the idea, but I want to be more accountable, and it's a lot easier to be accountable to other people than myself. And I think maybe I'm not the only one that feels that way? Anyways, if this rough idea sounds useful to you, please leave a comment or email me so we can talk more about it.

5) Keep being kind and loving and caring and compassionate, not just to me, but to all the people you meet who are fighting their own tiny internal fights.

This includes yourselves. I know some pretty freaking awesome people, and if you're reading this, there's no chance you're not one of them.


1: Prusiant? Puriant? Prurient? WHOA THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT WHOOPS. Or rather, it might've been the word I meant but not with the sexual interest part? I'm not altogether sure. Help me out, y'all (we'll sing backup!2)

2: Cookie to whoever gets this reference. Except mom, she's the one who introduced it to me.
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Here are the things that I did today that are good for me!

(I am going to try and get these lists down to weekly eventually, but right now it feels useful to be writing them every day. Writing is how my brain stabilizes itself. WRITING LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS is how I keep my sanity going. Once I have a little more basic sanity stores, I will feel less compelled to document my accomplishments quite so minutely.)

*Checked out a GRE study book from the library. It's the 2014 edition, so a little out of date, but not astronomically so.

*From above, spent a straight hour reading and taking notes and taking part of the diagnostic test. (I took the first non-writing part, which was quantitative reasoning -see "math"- and I smashed it in1. 18/20 correct, one of the wrong ones was a dumb fucking mistake (I even double-checked, but not well enough), the other I STUBBORNLY MAINTAIN I GOT RIGHT but no apparently according to the GRE you can have a fraction with decimals in it _ugh_.

*Made a doctor's appointment for about three weeks from now, to talk about mental stuff and maybe changing meds or whatever.

*Put away all my laundry. I mean, I still have at least a full load to run (plus a sheets+towels load before Sparr visits) but at least there're no clean clothes lying around in my room just now, which is awesome.

*Did an emergency TMC meeting via phone conferencing where I contributed good thoughts and also chivvied people along so that we could be done in less than a half hour. YOU'RE WELCOME, DANCEFOLX.

*Scheduled a hangout-and-productivity date with friends I don't see often, for next Tuesday. Yay!

*Deposited five checks, asked for the check I forgot for last week's work, deposited that as well. (yyyyeah, that was like 2k I just put into my bank account GOOD JOB KIDDO no wait, no sarcasm in here, genuinely a good thing to do, thank you.)


1: So, I don't edit a lot, not journal entries. However, just before posting, I noticed this wording and like...smashed it in? I mean, I get what I was trying to say, but that's just weird damn wording.


sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Katarina Whimsy

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