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yay, aiee?
Sep. 28th, 2015 12:31 pmI thought about tweeting this, but no, this is a little too much for Twitter (and *way* too much for Facebook). Give me a space where people have to actually type something to show me they care. (I didn't even realize that is something I was curmudgeonly about, but there you have it.)
I have an interview tomorrow afternoon. It's for a full time position, high school math1.
I am incredibly frantically stressed about money, and trying desperately to work in as much spare time doing odd jobs as I can. This would be massively easier if I still had my ADHD medication, but I don't, I forgot to refill the prescription before I lost my health insurance and I can't afford the $250+ out of pocket2.
My current job is stressing me out itself, because while it's sometimes fun3, it's not something I'm trained to do, and public school teaching is far too aligned with bullshit standards and endless testing to be done just for "fun". This is to everyone's detriment, especially the students.
My current job is echoing against a previous job, where I was taken advantage for about five months. That was one of the worse periods in my mentalscape and I did not like it. I am remembering how bad it felt, and the echoes are already hurting, even if the job itself isn't yet.
I have an interview tomorrow. Full time position, high school math. Wish me luck and stability and a sharp mind and nice clothes. Wish me not getting lost on the bike ride there, and not fucking up because I want this. I want this to work, and this really isn't a week where things are working for me.
I'm not going to write any more right now, because the current students come back from recess in two minutes and I don't want them to see me cry. But please.
I'll do everything I can to make it work. I just have to hope that's enough4.
~Sor
MOOP!
1: please don't ask for more details online, I won't give them.
2: No, I will not let you buy them for me. Three more days. I'll make it, I'm stubborn. I survive.
(I cannot let myself say strong, because this isn't kind of strength. It's just a refusal to give up.)
3: Fun is not exactly the right word here. Fun, and inspiring, and encouraging curiosity and creativity and asking questions and sharing ideas and working together to make things interesting and make the students excited. To help them learn the things they want to learn and get better at the things they want to get better at. To find kinds of work that they *want* to do and *want* to challenge themselves with. Smart-but-lazy is all well and good, but what if we could take that brain and give it something worth WORKING for?
Fun is close enough to cover all that. Too much of school is not fun.
4: And if it's not? There are other positions --your current principal was telling you about a temp math position, remember? You will do grad school and get your masters and that will help too. In the meantime you will work odd jobs and for the bananamines and too many endless days of substitute teaching but that's okay. You are stubborn. You will keep going. You'll find your story.
I have an interview tomorrow afternoon. It's for a full time position, high school math1.
I am incredibly frantically stressed about money, and trying desperately to work in as much spare time doing odd jobs as I can. This would be massively easier if I still had my ADHD medication, but I don't, I forgot to refill the prescription before I lost my health insurance and I can't afford the $250+ out of pocket2.
My current job is stressing me out itself, because while it's sometimes fun3, it's not something I'm trained to do, and public school teaching is far too aligned with bullshit standards and endless testing to be done just for "fun". This is to everyone's detriment, especially the students.
My current job is echoing against a previous job, where I was taken advantage for about five months. That was one of the worse periods in my mentalscape and I did not like it. I am remembering how bad it felt, and the echoes are already hurting, even if the job itself isn't yet.
I have an interview tomorrow. Full time position, high school math. Wish me luck and stability and a sharp mind and nice clothes. Wish me not getting lost on the bike ride there, and not fucking up because I want this. I want this to work, and this really isn't a week where things are working for me.
I'm not going to write any more right now, because the current students come back from recess in two minutes and I don't want them to see me cry. But please.
I'll do everything I can to make it work. I just have to hope that's enough4.
~Sor
MOOP!
1: please don't ask for more details online, I won't give them.
2: No, I will not let you buy them for me. Three more days. I'll make it, I'm stubborn. I survive.
(I cannot let myself say strong, because this isn't kind of strength. It's just a refusal to give up.)
3: Fun is not exactly the right word here. Fun, and inspiring, and encouraging curiosity and creativity and asking questions and sharing ideas and working together to make things interesting and make the students excited. To help them learn the things they want to learn and get better at the things they want to get better at. To find kinds of work that they *want* to do and *want* to challenge themselves with. Smart-but-lazy is all well and good, but what if we could take that brain and give it something worth WORKING for?
Fun is close enough to cover all that. Too much of school is not fun.
4: And if it's not? There are other positions --your current principal was telling you about a temp math position, remember? You will do grad school and get your masters and that will help too. In the meantime you will work odd jobs and for the bananamines and too many endless days of substitute teaching but that's okay. You are stubborn. You will keep going. You'll find your story.
