sorcyress: A character from a comic about the maintenance workers of the universe, holding a thumbs up and saying "MOOP!" (Zonker-MOOP!)
Half-Naked Thursdays almost never actually come on a Thursday. They also don't focus on physical half-nakedness, preferring emotional. Though I suppose I could be convinced...

Dance
It's all I want to do, why won't you dance
I'm standing here with you, why won't you move?
Even if it throws you to the fire (fire, fire, fire)
It hurts
It's all I want to do, so won't you dance?
I'm standing here with you, why won't you move?
Even if it throws you to the fire (fire, fire, fire, fire...)


So they're not the most inspired of lyrics. It's Kylie Minogue1, okay, she's a pop star, her job isn't to write inspired lyrics, it's to be bouncy and fun and probably a little sexy, all of which she does.

But when my brain bottoms out, and I find myself asking questions that no stable adult should ever have to ask a friend, been there or not2, when I find myself crying, and reinforcing the tears and the pain, when I find myself desperate for an escape and finally blesséd finally my better self steps in and orders me to dance, at that point?

Best lyrics in the world. Anything to bop along to as I flail like an idiot in the one corner of the basement that's always kept clear, because sometimes it is nice to know you share the same defense mechanisms as those who share your blood.

And I came back upstairs, and caught glimpse in a mirror, and saw...well, this really.

Half Naked Thursday: Tears and Glow

The red of my cheeks, my eyes, my nose, all that's from the crying. And the smile?

Well, it's impossible for me to hate myself while I dance.

It's all I want to do, just let me dance.

~Sor
MOOP!

1: Technically it's DJs From Mars, remixing Kylie Minogue and Blink-182. I went and listened to the original of All The Lovers eventually, just to, you know, do it, but yeah. The remix is that little bit faster and bouncier and poppier, and it's *perfect!*

2: I almost asked livejournal, but I don't tell *all* my secrets. Hell, this might even be a thing that a fair number of you don't know you don't know about me3.

3: Inspired by something Sparr said a while back, that he expected there weren't very many things about me that he didn't know he didn't know. Which seems...scarily accurate. Since then, I've been rolling in my brain the differences between things I know about my friends, and don't know, and do or don't know I don't know.
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
The other night, after dancing and hanging out with the roommate and eating Berryline (mmmm, pumpkin pie flavour), and picking up my bags and walking to the Harvard T-stop, I found myself in an interesting place.

That place was standing in the middle of a subway car, with no more than about six other people, scattered throughout. And that place was with my ipod on, and listening to music, a thing I have not done a lot of lately.

And when the bouncy music started, I looked around the subway car and dropped my bags on an empty seat.

And danced.

I danced like an idiot, bobbing to the music in my head, piped in through my broken little earbuds. I twirled and hopped and one-stepped and stamped, and found myself grabbing and rebounding from pole to pole. I danced like an idiot, flailing about in a most excitable manner, doing something best described as "rocking out".

And I got some odd looks from the other subway patrons, and I got other odd looks when I transferred to the silver line and found enough space to do more of the same (though there was also the man who smiled at me, when I glanced at him between thrashing to Bad Romance) but you know, I will take all the odd looks in the world. Because who cares if it gets me odd looks --I made a choice about the kind of person I wanted to be, and I am incredibly happy about which I chose.

Namely, that you can be the kind of person who wants to dance on the subway, and does, or you can be the kind of person who wants to dance on the subway, but doesn't. And oh sure, sometimes there will reasons you can't --it'll be too crowded, or the music just won't be right-- but all in all, I am incredibly satisfied with who I am.

Because however else I exist, and however else I feel about myself, I love myself when dancing, and always will. I've been dancing by myself behind closed doors before too long. It's time to stop worrying that other people will judge me for something that brings me joy. Fuck 'em.

I am the kind of person who, when she wants to dance on the subway, does so. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

~Sor
MOOP!

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sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Katarina Whimsy

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