Voice Feels
Jul. 15th, 2023 04:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sorcyressPostScript: This musing started because friend was remembering that like fifteen years ago they used to lurk the xkcd forum, and a few years ago decided to do a nostalgia revisit at archive.org...where they stumbled across a song parody they remembered, with a linked youtube video of someone singing it. Me. Of me singing it. what the what. I cannot emphasize how weird it is for this connection to be made, because I was on the xkcd forum for like...a few months maximum? I have recorded myself singing basically _never_? Like, of all the tiniest coincidences why this one?!
Anyways, it's now ousted this post as the craziest/best thing to ever happen to me from spending three months on a tiny webcomic forum1. Also, please be to knowing that if you go a'searching for this particular video that it's not good, and that I hate my voice in it which is SUPER FASCINATING to me.
Specifically, this has made me realize that I have...if not dysphoria at least active hatred of my voice when it is high. Well, this paired with another incident from a year or so ago --my partner what likes sound recordings in a big way recorded us2 being ~sexy~ and then later we listened to it together and I thought it was gonna be a totally great thing and nooo it was _so hard_ to listen to myself like that. I _love_ rereading sexy chats and stuff like that, I am not horrified by my own sexuality or horniness or whatever, but hearing my own voice be high-pitched and breathy is just The Worst and it makes me miserable.
Same effect here, with this song I recorded at age eighteen with whatever shitty mic was built into my lapto...oh my god, that was recorded on Seren. Haha, I was wondering if I could dig up the lyrics when I got home and dear reader, the late September 2007 timeframe means I can not. [clarification: Seren was my shortest lived computer, she had a catastrophic hard drive failure three months into my freshman year of college and inadvertently served as the direct catalyst for the best hobby I've ever done.]
Anyways, now that I'm done being distracted by timelines and _how fucking weird it is_ that this song recording even exists, yeah. It is unsurprising to me that I don't like having a high pitched voice --I almost always pitch it lower when I group-sing, and I am desperate for my body to follow my mother's and drop the speaking parts naturally as well. Someday I will bother to get proper voice training and be able to maintain the bass (well, tenor) of my dreams.
~Sor
MOOP!
1: The best thing to ever happen to me from spending greater than three months on a tiny webcomic forum is sitting directly to my right and playing video games while I write these words. I love you mek <3
2: _obviously_ with my consent.
Anyways, it's now ousted this post as the craziest/best thing to ever happen to me from spending three months on a tiny webcomic forum1. Also, please be to knowing that if you go a'searching for this particular video that it's not good, and that I hate my voice in it which is SUPER FASCINATING to me.
Specifically, this has made me realize that I have...if not dysphoria at least active hatred of my voice when it is high. Well, this paired with another incident from a year or so ago --my partner what likes sound recordings in a big way recorded us2 being ~sexy~ and then later we listened to it together and I thought it was gonna be a totally great thing and nooo it was _so hard_ to listen to myself like that. I _love_ rereading sexy chats and stuff like that, I am not horrified by my own sexuality or horniness or whatever, but hearing my own voice be high-pitched and breathy is just The Worst and it makes me miserable.
Same effect here, with this song I recorded at age eighteen with whatever shitty mic was built into my lapto...oh my god, that was recorded on Seren. Haha, I was wondering if I could dig up the lyrics when I got home and dear reader, the late September 2007 timeframe means I can not. [clarification: Seren was my shortest lived computer, she had a catastrophic hard drive failure three months into my freshman year of college and inadvertently served as the direct catalyst for the best hobby I've ever done.]
Anyways, now that I'm done being distracted by timelines and _how fucking weird it is_ that this song recording even exists, yeah. It is unsurprising to me that I don't like having a high pitched voice --I almost always pitch it lower when I group-sing, and I am desperate for my body to follow my mother's and drop the speaking parts naturally as well. Someday I will bother to get proper voice training and be able to maintain the bass (well, tenor) of my dreams.
~Sor
MOOP!
1: The best thing to ever happen to me from spending greater than three months on a tiny webcomic forum is sitting directly to my right and playing video games while I write these words. I love you mek <3
2: _obviously_ with my consent.
no subject
on 2023-07-16 05:49 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2023-07-28 05:36 pm (UTC)I'm eternally amused at how small the Geekosphere is. (Since I know Phi through entirely different channels.)