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Feb. 2nd, 2020 07:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sorcyressToday was a good day!
I went to service ringing almost exactly on time (and it turns out services ran long so I had plenty of time to spare). I got to see a baby and do a bit of ringing, and all that was quite nice and lovely.
Yesterday, my (very brief) attendance at bells overlapped with a ~2 hour BrainBad1, which meant I was pretty strongly dissociated and not really Present with the ringing or ringers until the crowd thinned out a bit. Apparently it's easier to come back to human in the presence of a small number of people (Austin and Michael) than large? Good to know or whatever.
ANYwho, I did myself a Great SelfCare yesterday, in that when JohnB asked if I wanted to ring a QP on Sunday, I did not respond with "I am completely subsumed with my own imperfection and cannot possibly want anything in the world" and instead thought to myself "I will probably want this tomorrow even though I can't want it right now" and said "sure". Being kind to futureKat continues to be very difficult, but extremely important and useful for long-term personal growth and brainsorting.
I guesed correctly --I did want to ring a quarter peal today! And then when we were walking to Old North to do exactly that, Bryn and Leland were all "so would you like to come back to Advent and ring _another_ quarter peal after that?" which I agreed to as well. My original plan for the afternoon was "go home and attempt to clean my room/house, realistically actually fuck around on couch for several hours playing dumb phone games" so it's not like my afternoon was particularly booked.
After I tenored a quite lovely QP of Plain Bob Trips, I remarked that it was very clever of them to get me to commit to another QP *before* I completed this first one. Ringers went off to lunch, and then the smaller band of us trooped back to Advent to ring a nice little QP of something in honor of the first services by the new rector.
The something turned out to be the elusive Plain Bob Minor, with me inside --a QP I've failed at least once before. It turns out having a band that is all strong except you, rather than a band that is "strongish except you and that other person" makes a world of difference. We scored the QP, and I had enough time and space and brain to first semi-consciously and then intentionally recognize that where I am when I pass the treble is linked to what work I'm doing at the lead end. Leland called a particularly nice little composition too, which gave me the first half-dozen leads or so without having to do anything but re-learn the circle of work and get myself smoothed out.
So now I'm up to ten QPs (it remains that the easiest way to track this is to just search bellboard for my first name, since it's sufficiently uncommon), three of which have been this calendar year. And people say that completing two QPs in the same day is probably proof-of-concept that you can do a peal, so...that's something to happen in the future, I would think.
I returned home (by way of a red line train where the doors broke and we all had to have the conductor come through and pry them open and clear out the car, very exciting) and before I flopped onto the couch, I did a truly brilliant thing and went and set the *oven* timer as a reminder to Stop That, rather than my phone timer, which is attached to thing I'm playing with and therefore easily ignored. I am cautiously optimistic about this idea for the future, though it's definitely easier when Ezri is out of the house.
My alarm went off and I pushed myself into doing a full hour of roomcleaning, which means mostly just that my desk is cleaned off and I dealt with half the floor, while the other half flounders under a pile of unpacked Arisia nonsense. Still, the cleaning of the desk is an *a-plus* good thing --it means I'm typing this there, instead of in bed or on the couch or whatever. Hopefully tomorrow I will come home and do more of that before dancing. We'll see how I'm feeling. Maybe I'll nap instead.
Anywho, it is time for me to go off to BIDA, because ringing too qps and walking from advent to old north and back was not exhausting enough or something. Also because it really is likely to be the last BIDA chance I have for a few months, and I need to bring ESC postcards.
Hope you're well and that I do not totally die from the contra dance!
~Sor
MOOP!
1: Out loud I was calling it an anxiety attack or panic attack, but I don't actually know if those are real things that happen to me, and writing things down involves a truth and commitment I'm not sure I'm willing to make. So brain bad.
I went to service ringing almost exactly on time (and it turns out services ran long so I had plenty of time to spare). I got to see a baby and do a bit of ringing, and all that was quite nice and lovely.
Yesterday, my (very brief) attendance at bells overlapped with a ~2 hour BrainBad1, which meant I was pretty strongly dissociated and not really Present with the ringing or ringers until the crowd thinned out a bit. Apparently it's easier to come back to human in the presence of a small number of people (Austin and Michael) than large? Good to know or whatever.
ANYwho, I did myself a Great SelfCare yesterday, in that when JohnB asked if I wanted to ring a QP on Sunday, I did not respond with "I am completely subsumed with my own imperfection and cannot possibly want anything in the world" and instead thought to myself "I will probably want this tomorrow even though I can't want it right now" and said "sure". Being kind to futureKat continues to be very difficult, but extremely important and useful for long-term personal growth and brainsorting.
I guesed correctly --I did want to ring a quarter peal today! And then when we were walking to Old North to do exactly that, Bryn and Leland were all "so would you like to come back to Advent and ring _another_ quarter peal after that?" which I agreed to as well. My original plan for the afternoon was "go home and attempt to clean my room/house, realistically actually fuck around on couch for several hours playing dumb phone games" so it's not like my afternoon was particularly booked.
After I tenored a quite lovely QP of Plain Bob Trips, I remarked that it was very clever of them to get me to commit to another QP *before* I completed this first one. Ringers went off to lunch, and then the smaller band of us trooped back to Advent to ring a nice little QP of something in honor of the first services by the new rector.
The something turned out to be the elusive Plain Bob Minor, with me inside --a QP I've failed at least once before. It turns out having a band that is all strong except you, rather than a band that is "strongish except you and that other person" makes a world of difference. We scored the QP, and I had enough time and space and brain to first semi-consciously and then intentionally recognize that where I am when I pass the treble is linked to what work I'm doing at the lead end. Leland called a particularly nice little composition too, which gave me the first half-dozen leads or so without having to do anything but re-learn the circle of work and get myself smoothed out.
So now I'm up to ten QPs (it remains that the easiest way to track this is to just search bellboard for my first name, since it's sufficiently uncommon), three of which have been this calendar year. And people say that completing two QPs in the same day is probably proof-of-concept that you can do a peal, so...that's something to happen in the future, I would think.
I returned home (by way of a red line train where the doors broke and we all had to have the conductor come through and pry them open and clear out the car, very exciting) and before I flopped onto the couch, I did a truly brilliant thing and went and set the *oven* timer as a reminder to Stop That, rather than my phone timer, which is attached to thing I'm playing with and therefore easily ignored. I am cautiously optimistic about this idea for the future, though it's definitely easier when Ezri is out of the house.
My alarm went off and I pushed myself into doing a full hour of roomcleaning, which means mostly just that my desk is cleaned off and I dealt with half the floor, while the other half flounders under a pile of unpacked Arisia nonsense. Still, the cleaning of the desk is an *a-plus* good thing --it means I'm typing this there, instead of in bed or on the couch or whatever. Hopefully tomorrow I will come home and do more of that before dancing. We'll see how I'm feeling. Maybe I'll nap instead.
Anywho, it is time for me to go off to BIDA, because ringing too qps and walking from advent to old north and back was not exhausting enough or something. Also because it really is likely to be the last BIDA chance I have for a few months, and I need to bring ESC postcards.
Hope you're well and that I do not totally die from the contra dance!
~Sor
MOOP!
1: Out loud I was calling it an anxiety attack or panic attack, but I don't actually know if those are real things that happen to me, and writing things down involves a truth and commitment I'm not sure I'm willing to make. So brain bad.