(no subject)
Oct. 26th, 2018 08:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sorcyressHere's a thought I had on my ride home from work today:
Non-binary people can't be stealth.
Now, before I say anything else, I want to be very clear that I am *not here* for debating the merits of a trans person being, or not, stealth. It's a choice that only they get to make, for themself, based on their own assumptions of safety, happiness, self, etc (to say nothing about passing). My debate here is not on the virtues (or not) of stealthness, just on the fact that it is an option available to some trans folk, but not to enbys.
A non-binary person can be closeted. That is, in fact, how I live over a third of my life, shifting through the school day and smiling politely when people say "miss" and "her" and other incorrect words about me.
But I can't be stealth. Stealth involves being able to wrap yourself up so properly in your correct gender that your incorrect one is unrecognizable. Which...I don't think I can do? The vast majority of people will assign a binary gender to every stranger they meet, within seconds. What can I possibly change about my presentation so that I am looked at and thought of as "ah yes, they don't have a gender" without also getting "girl"? If I make someone hesitate, I fear it will always come paired with "figuring it out".
I'm not necessarily upset or morose about this --I like being as out as possible, as often and loudly as possible, about as many things as possible. But it's an interesting problem of being outside the binary, and not one I think I've heard mentioned before.
***
In other trans news, I am going to be really fucking furiously angry if I get a permanent career and can therefore out myself at work under proper union protection, but can't actually do so because the world shifts to no longer offer those protections. Fucking vote, my friends.
~Sor
MOOP!
Non-binary people can't be stealth.
Now, before I say anything else, I want to be very clear that I am *not here* for debating the merits of a trans person being, or not, stealth. It's a choice that only they get to make, for themself, based on their own assumptions of safety, happiness, self, etc (to say nothing about passing). My debate here is not on the virtues (or not) of stealthness, just on the fact that it is an option available to some trans folk, but not to enbys.
A non-binary person can be closeted. That is, in fact, how I live over a third of my life, shifting through the school day and smiling politely when people say "miss" and "her" and other incorrect words about me.
But I can't be stealth. Stealth involves being able to wrap yourself up so properly in your correct gender that your incorrect one is unrecognizable. Which...I don't think I can do? The vast majority of people will assign a binary gender to every stranger they meet, within seconds. What can I possibly change about my presentation so that I am looked at and thought of as "ah yes, they don't have a gender" without also getting "girl"? If I make someone hesitate, I fear it will always come paired with "figuring it out".
I'm not necessarily upset or morose about this --I like being as out as possible, as often and loudly as possible, about as many things as possible. But it's an interesting problem of being outside the binary, and not one I think I've heard mentioned before.
***
In other trans news, I am going to be really fucking furiously angry if I get a permanent career and can therefore out myself at work under proper union protection, but can't actually do so because the world shifts to no longer offer those protections. Fucking vote, my friends.
~Sor
MOOP!
no subject
on 2018-10-27 04:47 pm (UTC)And *offers hugs*. Why does the world have to suck so much right now?
no subject
on 2018-11-03 11:48 pm (UTC)I've also been declaring that, because I no longer exist due to legislation, I don't have to pay taxes! That's how that works, right?