(no subject)
Feb. 2nd, 2014 12:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Four sonnets, for four former partners. Trigger warning in the second for emotional abuse. Content warning for a terrible sense of scansion, and at least once actually changing the spelling of a word to make it fit the iambs.
Enjoy.
***
By the Lightswitch
The first girlfriend I ever had was queer
(I use that not in the pejor'tive sense)
I only use the word to make things clear
Some ways we both were ladies, some: we're gents.
Our queerness was not limited to sex
In many other ways we played the strange
Reduction to normalacy did vex
Society holds bullshit -we must change!
A revolutionary at sixteen
Such little ways to warp the world around
On meeting with their standards we weren't keen
Each liked the slice of Otherness we found.
Though still we find some safety where we met
For girl scouts do not care you're gay or het
***
All for the finality
The final year of high school's meant to be
Inspiring, a time to look ahead
Because of all the ways you ruined me
Harsh memory is where my thoughts are led
You found me such a virgin, so naive
Then took your mess and shoved it in my mind
Ensnared me in your pain, I could not leave
Grabbed what you wanted, all that you could find.
Your own desire overruled my want
My feeble protestations were ignored
Until the day no longer you would haunt
I steeled myself for battle, words or sword.
None worked, the ways to break me you contrived
Fuck you, I'm not a victim. I survived.
***
For a Dragon I do Know
A dragon far out in Seattle-land
With endless talent bounded by no walls
He curls throughout the city strong and grand
Compared to him mere mortal nature palls.
But 'neath the dragon nature lies a man
And moments come where he will feel a lack
Of fitness, strength, or power all he can
No longer do and never will get back.
The dragon-man must once more find his soul
And force himself to struggle into light
Though motivation seems impossible
He will not take a fall without a fight.
This endless battle to become his best
'Tis not a destination, but a quest!
***
...To "I'll see you round, someday?"
Some days I feel I never really did
Know who you were and what you were about
Perhaps it's just I was too much a kid
Preoccupied and empathy without.
Perhaps it was there simply was more need
From me to you instead of the reverse
You spent yourself to help me to succeed
I had not time nor strength to serve as nurse.
So while I feel quite grateful for the help
I must apologize for what I lack
And lacking still, this inconsiderate whelp
To know your mind I haven't got the knack.
It seems to other eyes we've found our end
Myself, I'd like to now become your friend.
***
~Sor
MOOP!
(Trigger warnings go both ways, emotional abuse reference in the second sonnet)
Enjoy.
***
By the Lightswitch
The first girlfriend I ever had was queer
(I use that not in the pejor'tive sense)
I only use the word to make things clear
Some ways we both were ladies, some: we're gents.
Our queerness was not limited to sex
In many other ways we played the strange
Reduction to normalacy did vex
Society holds bullshit -we must change!
A revolutionary at sixteen
Such little ways to warp the world around
On meeting with their standards we weren't keen
Each liked the slice of Otherness we found.
Though still we find some safety where we met
For girl scouts do not care you're gay or het
***
All for the finality
The final year of high school's meant to be
Inspiring, a time to look ahead
Because of all the ways you ruined me
Harsh memory is where my thoughts are led
You found me such a virgin, so naive
Then took your mess and shoved it in my mind
Ensnared me in your pain, I could not leave
Grabbed what you wanted, all that you could find.
Your own desire overruled my want
My feeble protestations were ignored
Until the day no longer you would haunt
I steeled myself for battle, words or sword.
None worked, the ways to break me you contrived
Fuck you, I'm not a victim. I survived.
***
For a Dragon I do Know
A dragon far out in Seattle-land
With endless talent bounded by no walls
He curls throughout the city strong and grand
Compared to him mere mortal nature palls.
But 'neath the dragon nature lies a man
And moments come where he will feel a lack
Of fitness, strength, or power all he can
No longer do and never will get back.
The dragon-man must once more find his soul
And force himself to struggle into light
Though motivation seems impossible
He will not take a fall without a fight.
This endless battle to become his best
'Tis not a destination, but a quest!
***
...To "I'll see you round, someday?"
Some days I feel I never really did
Know who you were and what you were about
Perhaps it's just I was too much a kid
Preoccupied and empathy without.
Perhaps it was there simply was more need
From me to you instead of the reverse
You spent yourself to help me to succeed
I had not time nor strength to serve as nurse.
So while I feel quite grateful for the help
I must apologize for what I lack
And lacking still, this inconsiderate whelp
To know your mind I haven't got the knack.
It seems to other eyes we've found our end
Myself, I'd like to now become your friend.
***
~Sor
MOOP!
(Trigger warnings go both ways, emotional abuse reference in the second sonnet)
no subject
on 2014-02-04 08:36 am (UTC)(Also, Happy Cloniversary to you and your clone =)
no subject
on 2014-02-06 11:51 pm (UTC)I am compelled to write poetry almost never, because I really deeply hate matching scansion (although I'm good at it, and I don't even think I'm terrible at meter) and definitely hate contrived rhymes. So I feel rather happy that I managed to come up with this project and see it entirely through.
~Sor
no subject
on 2014-02-05 06:59 am (UTC)...Methinks I may need to write up some stuff to expand the above.
no subject
on 2014-02-06 11:53 pm (UTC)Are you strictly hetero though? Have you never felt feelings for a fellow agendered person, thereby making you bisexual? ;)
I totally want to read your expanded thoughts, too.
~Sor