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Dec. 28th, 2011 12:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sorcyressI've really not been writing much this week. Sorry? I don't know.
I'm back in Somerville. My biggest current project is "fanfiction" followed loosely by "what do I do for New Years (since staying at home and writing fanfiction is inappropriate in a number of ways)". Also, there's something about Dante, especially as my Christmas gift for myself was the notebook I wrote the very first draft of Dante in, back in aught-four.
I am not allowed to open it until I have finished the current draft. Damn my impossible rules!
The fanfiction project is sorta because I wound up missing the deadline for a couple of homestuck fic-swaps, but I was able to sign up as a pinch-hitter. So, I did all my Yuletide nonsense (I wrote twice as many stories as last year1) and now I'm signing up to write all sorts of homestuck nonsense. But of course, comments have started coming in on the Yuletide stuff, and some of them have ~*~ideas~*~ that I'm eager to poke at. If I was really good, I'd manage to write them before the author reveal, but I really need to go poke at source material first.
New Years is...I need something to do. I've been formally invited to -I believe- four parties, and informally invited to a party that wasn't happening but is possibly being hosted by other people in the household and maybe I'm invited by them and I'm not really sure what's going on there. If nothing else, this is providing an interesting analysis of what constitutes a "New Years" in my mind. There has to be counting, there has to be many geeky people, and games. And if I'm being perfectly honest with myself, there is supposed to be kissing immediately after midnight. Starting with boyfriends and working my way out to make sure everyone in the damn house gets a kiss on the cheek.
I mentioned last year that New Years is my holiday for relationships. I don't think that fact has changed, but this is literally the first year since...04/052? that there's not even the possibility spending time with someone I'm dating.
So that's...weird. Weird enough that, in my sortof current perpetually exhausted state, I really have been starting to wonder if the right answer is to just...disappear for a night. Spend New Years alone, writing or meditating, or sleeping.
That is, of course, the other thing. Work has the nasty habit of taking up a significant portion of my energy. It's physically difficult --lots of being on my feet all day and carrying/reaching things-- but more importantly, it's socially difficult. Not in the way you'd expect --I don't get much introvert-drop from dealing with customers (or coworkers, although they are harder) all day. But having my schedule so roughly controlled by someone else? Arrrrrg, no. No, is bad. I've been missing or late to dance things, I've started going to bed before the people I normally stay up late talking to do, and when I do make it to happy friendly groups of people, I'm a lot less capable than normal of dealing with them. I've been sitting in a lot of corners lately, because that's what happens when I am out of energy. I find claustrophobic spaces in which I can recharge.
I've also gotten more self-deprecating, but that's something I can handle. It's not like I'm not always in such a state, just some days I'm more vocal about it, and start crossing the line between entertaining and annoying/worrysome.
Okay. Now I have ~things~ to write, and more importantly, I need to figure out if I'm going to attempt (and probably fail) to go on adventures tonight after work. And also I need to get ready for work. And probably I ought to shower.
Catch you lot later.
~Sor
MOOP!
1: So, two.
2: Okay, so, 05/06 I was dating Blue but she couldn't come. 06/07 I was single, except that kSatyr and I were pretty obviously going to start dating (and he might have thought we already had). 07/08 I was also single, but hahahah, that was the New Years where I started kicking ass at being poly.
I'm back in Somerville. My biggest current project is "fanfiction" followed loosely by "what do I do for New Years (since staying at home and writing fanfiction is inappropriate in a number of ways)". Also, there's something about Dante, especially as my Christmas gift for myself was the notebook I wrote the very first draft of Dante in, back in aught-four.
I am not allowed to open it until I have finished the current draft. Damn my impossible rules!
The fanfiction project is sorta because I wound up missing the deadline for a couple of homestuck fic-swaps, but I was able to sign up as a pinch-hitter. So, I did all my Yuletide nonsense (I wrote twice as many stories as last year1) and now I'm signing up to write all sorts of homestuck nonsense. But of course, comments have started coming in on the Yuletide stuff, and some of them have ~*~ideas~*~ that I'm eager to poke at. If I was really good, I'd manage to write them before the author reveal, but I really need to go poke at source material first.
New Years is...I need something to do. I've been formally invited to -I believe- four parties, and informally invited to a party that wasn't happening but is possibly being hosted by other people in the household and maybe I'm invited by them and I'm not really sure what's going on there. If nothing else, this is providing an interesting analysis of what constitutes a "New Years" in my mind. There has to be counting, there has to be many geeky people, and games. And if I'm being perfectly honest with myself, there is supposed to be kissing immediately after midnight. Starting with boyfriends and working my way out to make sure everyone in the damn house gets a kiss on the cheek.
I mentioned last year that New Years is my holiday for relationships. I don't think that fact has changed, but this is literally the first year since...04/052? that there's not even the possibility spending time with someone I'm dating.
So that's...weird. Weird enough that, in my sortof current perpetually exhausted state, I really have been starting to wonder if the right answer is to just...disappear for a night. Spend New Years alone, writing or meditating, or sleeping.
That is, of course, the other thing. Work has the nasty habit of taking up a significant portion of my energy. It's physically difficult --lots of being on my feet all day and carrying/reaching things-- but more importantly, it's socially difficult. Not in the way you'd expect --I don't get much introvert-drop from dealing with customers (or coworkers, although they are harder) all day. But having my schedule so roughly controlled by someone else? Arrrrrg, no. No, is bad. I've been missing or late to dance things, I've started going to bed before the people I normally stay up late talking to do, and when I do make it to happy friendly groups of people, I'm a lot less capable than normal of dealing with them. I've been sitting in a lot of corners lately, because that's what happens when I am out of energy. I find claustrophobic spaces in which I can recharge.
I've also gotten more self-deprecating, but that's something I can handle. It's not like I'm not always in such a state, just some days I'm more vocal about it, and start crossing the line between entertaining and annoying/worrysome.
Okay. Now I have ~things~ to write, and more importantly, I need to figure out if I'm going to attempt (and probably fail) to go on adventures tonight after work. And also I need to get ready for work. And probably I ought to shower.
Catch you lot later.
~Sor
MOOP!
1: So, two.
2: Okay, so, 05/06 I was dating Blue but she couldn't come. 06/07 I was single, except that kSatyr and I were pretty obviously going to start dating (and he might have thought we already had). 07/08 I was also single, but hahahah, that was the New Years where I started kicking ass at being poly.