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Jul. 22nd, 2011 04:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sorcyressA/N: This gets meandery. Sorry.
Sometimes I think society does not want me to show off that I am happy.
I get worried about being excited and squeeful about the simple adventures I have with the people I love. "And then we went to the science museum, and held hands as we watched the lightning show." is not a story in any artistic sense. There's no plot, no complication, no climax and denouement. He didn't have to change himself to get my love. I didn't have to create a wildly over-the-top romantic gesture. We are just two people who found each other, and then he was in town and we went to the science museum and held hands. And it made us happy.
And that's the important part. Our story doesn't have to play into the cynical stereotypes of miscommunication and drama that form the world's perception of how romantic relationships are "meant" to go. There is another boy I am with, who I have had almost eleven months of very intense NewToy energy with. We snuggle up to each other on the subway, and kiss each other on the head, the neck, the cheek. We tell each other how much we love, and how happy we are to be together. And I'm so fucking pleased as punch about this, and it takes a lot to not just constantly make squeeful posts about the lovely things we've been up to.
But why don't I? Because I get worried about being shmoopy, about being viewed as love-sick and silly. The world is cynical right now and we're trapped in a place where liking something genuinely is not as common as liking it ironically. Relationships especially, are all always doomed to fail. You will never just meet your One True Soulmate and true love isn't real, after all.
And okay, maybe some sort of true love everlasting isn't real, in the sense that you can't go out and instantly find it. But even if you can't find it, maybe you can make it. Time and energy and trust. Respect and support. Being patient enough to find the connections, and wait when you have to, until everything is able to work out. Maybe we are shmoopy, not from some magic of having found the right person, but from some combination of time and patience and love. We have worked together to create a wonderful relationship, and fuckit, why *shouldn't* I be pleased as punch about that?
Sometimes I get worried about wanting to be shmoopy. Romance and Practicality sit on my shoulders some days, and argue like the devils and angels of yore. The argument makes my touches shy, my posture withdrawn, silencing the words I'd rather spill. "I love you" is too silly to say to some boys, when what is love anyways but a complicated chemical reaction, lacking sense or reason.
But you know what? In all the cases of silence, in all the places where I worry of narrative strength, or cynicism, or reason? Fuck the haters. I am happy and they are happy and we are happy together.
And there's not a single thing the world can do about that.
~Sor
MOOP!
Sometimes I think society does not want me to show off that I am happy.
I get worried about being excited and squeeful about the simple adventures I have with the people I love. "And then we went to the science museum, and held hands as we watched the lightning show." is not a story in any artistic sense. There's no plot, no complication, no climax and denouement. He didn't have to change himself to get my love. I didn't have to create a wildly over-the-top romantic gesture. We are just two people who found each other, and then he was in town and we went to the science museum and held hands. And it made us happy.
And that's the important part. Our story doesn't have to play into the cynical stereotypes of miscommunication and drama that form the world's perception of how romantic relationships are "meant" to go. There is another boy I am with, who I have had almost eleven months of very intense NewToy energy with. We snuggle up to each other on the subway, and kiss each other on the head, the neck, the cheek. We tell each other how much we love, and how happy we are to be together. And I'm so fucking pleased as punch about this, and it takes a lot to not just constantly make squeeful posts about the lovely things we've been up to.
But why don't I? Because I get worried about being shmoopy, about being viewed as love-sick and silly. The world is cynical right now and we're trapped in a place where liking something genuinely is not as common as liking it ironically. Relationships especially, are all always doomed to fail. You will never just meet your One True Soulmate and true love isn't real, after all.
And okay, maybe some sort of true love everlasting isn't real, in the sense that you can't go out and instantly find it. But even if you can't find it, maybe you can make it. Time and energy and trust. Respect and support. Being patient enough to find the connections, and wait when you have to, until everything is able to work out. Maybe we are shmoopy, not from some magic of having found the right person, but from some combination of time and patience and love. We have worked together to create a wonderful relationship, and fuckit, why *shouldn't* I be pleased as punch about that?
Sometimes I get worried about wanting to be shmoopy. Romance and Practicality sit on my shoulders some days, and argue like the devils and angels of yore. The argument makes my touches shy, my posture withdrawn, silencing the words I'd rather spill. "I love you" is too silly to say to some boys, when what is love anyways but a complicated chemical reaction, lacking sense or reason.
But you know what? In all the cases of silence, in all the places where I worry of narrative strength, or cynicism, or reason? Fuck the haters. I am happy and they are happy and we are happy together.
And there's not a single thing the world can do about that.
~Sor
MOOP!
You just need to write more...
on 2011-07-22 08:44 pm (UTC)If you write about your life, your whole life, then the shmoopy parts will be represented, but it won't be all that's represented.
When you write about gender issues, especially gender issues affecting you, it isn't shmoopy, but it's interesting to read. When you write about dancing, it isn't shmoopy (or at least, not usually). When you write about what you had for (insert meal of your choice), it's probably not going to be shmoopy.
To take your example, there is a lot that can be said about a trip to the science museum -- details of the lightning show, other interesting exhibits, if there is anything new since your last visit, etc -- of which holding hands while watching the lightning show is the only shmoopy bit. Heck, if shmoopy was all there was to the visit to the science museum, why bother going?
I don't believe in One True Soulmates, as there are Many Potential Soulmates. Tim Minchin has a song about it (If I Didn't Have You). So anyone giving you grief because they say you'll never find your One True Soulmate -- and thus denying your bi-poly-switch-and-not-sleeping-with-you nature -- they need to bugger off and let you be shmoopy with your Harem of Soulmates.