"But it comes at the cost of my voice, as I become no longer myself."
There was a time in my life that I would literally run out of the room screaming if I were to hear a recording of my voice.
I absolutely hated it. It was deep, in a low register and not particularly "pretty" by Disney princess or movie star standards. It isn't babbly like a brook, nor does it remind people of birds singing. And, though I used to be able to stretch my vocal cords to reach an "A above high C" it takes a LOT of warming up for me to do that. (I'm naturally a tenor or high alto... TOTALLY not a female voice according to many, I guess it's since I don't sound like Minnie Mouse on helium.)
I always saw it as just more "proof" that I wasn't feminine enough to be considered female... even though I desperately want to be. Everyone ELSE was dating in high school... except me.
(Fortunately, my previous complete lack of makeup-using has seen some abatement, and I've finally developed something of a sense of style...)
But I still have trouble listening to a recorded version of my voice unless I'm doing some sort of accent or modulating it to a frequency that's very different than my "normal" voice.
I still don't know how anyone can stand to hear it, and I don't know how to change it...
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ninetydegrees
no subject
on 2011-02-26 04:51 am (UTC)There was a time in my life that I would literally run out of the room screaming if I were to hear a recording of my voice.
I absolutely hated it. It was deep, in a low register and not particularly "pretty" by Disney princess or movie star standards. It isn't babbly like a brook, nor does it remind people of birds singing. And, though I used to be able to stretch my vocal cords to reach an "A above high C" it takes a LOT of warming up for me to do that. (I'm naturally a tenor or high alto... TOTALLY not a female voice according to many, I guess it's since I don't sound like Minnie Mouse on helium.)
I always saw it as just more "proof" that I wasn't feminine enough to be considered female... even though I desperately want to be. Everyone ELSE was dating in high school... except me.
(Fortunately, my previous complete lack of makeup-using has seen some abatement, and I've finally developed something of a sense of style...)
But I still have trouble listening to a recorded version of my voice unless I'm doing some sort of accent or modulating it to a frequency that's very different than my "normal" voice.
I still don't know how anyone can stand to hear it, and I don't know how to change it...
(...and they wonder why I won't sing...)