I write letters
Feb. 16th, 2011 12:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sorcyressDear library: on what planet does it make sense for a huge collection of children's and young adult literature not to include any of the adventures of Alvin Fernald. Here's a hint, it really shouldn't be this one! Those are fantastic books, and bobspamit, when I have a craving to reread Alvin's Swap Shop, I should not come up with no hits. You're supposed to be better than that.
As penance, you are required to give me all three of Danica McKeller's books so I can read them for my internship class. YES ALL THREE. I don't care if you don't have a copy of Hot X yet. I demand it as penance for not giving me the children's lit I require.
***
Dear internship: I am excited I have you now! I will come hang out with you on Monday-after-February-break. Someone please remind me not to schedule something to do superlate that Sunday evening. Please. Because trying to go in and teach on three hours of sleep sounds totally like something I would do and shouldn't.
***
Dear Book Club: why do you have to do super-awesome "you laugh you lose" of My Immortal during my class? I would TOTALLY GO TO THAT otherwise. I may still go to the first bit of it, except, you know. Homework.
***
Dear homework: sod off, die in a fire.
***
Dear brain: that bit where we failed to set our alarm? Yeah, don't do that. Also, try and get more of those crossaint-egg-cheese sammiches from Charlies, those have no right to be as delicious as they totally ar
DEAR HUGE FUCKING BUG WITH TOO MANY LEGS THAT IS ON THE WALL: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
***
Dear my persevere fascination with aforementioned huge bug: yeah, I guess it is kinda neat, isn't it. I like the way it rolls as it moves. Although, perhaps you have missed the fact that that bug is as big as my thumb or something and probably has the ability to KILL ME WITH ITS MIND.
***
Dear life: please stop being so busy that I can't hang out with people I need to hang out with. Also, stop being cruel to Harena, that's not fair. Also, make jere7my stop being sick. Also, please make it so guy-I'll-be-interning-under doesn't have the deathplague. Also...
***
Dear huge fucking bug: where did you go? Oh god oh god oh god are you going to crawl into my hair and then into my brain? Please do not steal my computer out of my backpack. Oh gods, you are so frightening, stop that!
***
Dear life (cont): ...in general, keep being cool, which you do most of the time really. So yeah.
***
Dear weather: can it be international sundress day? Please? I really want to be able to wear a little flirty dress and not have to freeze ninety percent of my skin to do so.
***
Dear mama nature: I do still like the snow and the cold and the wind, although we're starting to trail into miserable some nights. I recognize what you're trying to tell me, and I'll see what I can do about sleeping not alone, but please. Can you warm it up enough that I don't have to make the choice between sleeping cold and sleeping crowded?
***
Dear Blaise: you are broken. Why are you broken? Why why why why what did I do to deserve this? Okay, but besides the mud-ice I rode through? Please become fixed soon and for not very much money.
***
Dear words: we are done with this trope now. Ta!
~Sor
MOOP!
As penance, you are required to give me all three of Danica McKeller's books so I can read them for my internship class. YES ALL THREE. I don't care if you don't have a copy of Hot X yet. I demand it as penance for not giving me the children's lit I require.
***
Dear internship: I am excited I have you now! I will come hang out with you on Monday-after-February-break. Someone please remind me not to schedule something to do superlate that Sunday evening. Please. Because trying to go in and teach on three hours of sleep sounds totally like something I would do and shouldn't.
***
Dear Book Club: why do you have to do super-awesome "you laugh you lose" of My Immortal during my class? I would TOTALLY GO TO THAT otherwise. I may still go to the first bit of it, except, you know. Homework.
***
Dear homework: sod off, die in a fire.
***
Dear brain: that bit where we failed to set our alarm? Yeah, don't do that. Also, try and get more of those crossaint-egg-cheese sammiches from Charlies, those have no right to be as delicious as they totally ar
DEAR HUGE FUCKING BUG WITH TOO MANY LEGS THAT IS ON THE WALL: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
***
Dear my persevere fascination with aforementioned huge bug: yeah, I guess it is kinda neat, isn't it. I like the way it rolls as it moves. Although, perhaps you have missed the fact that that bug is as big as my thumb or something and probably has the ability to KILL ME WITH ITS MIND.
***
Dear life: please stop being so busy that I can't hang out with people I need to hang out with. Also, stop being cruel to Harena, that's not fair. Also, make jere7my stop being sick. Also, please make it so guy-I'll-be-interning-under doesn't have the deathplague. Also...
***
Dear huge fucking bug: where did you go? Oh god oh god oh god are you going to crawl into my hair and then into my brain? Please do not steal my computer out of my backpack. Oh gods, you are so frightening, stop that!
***
Dear life (cont): ...in general, keep being cool, which you do most of the time really. So yeah.
***
Dear weather: can it be international sundress day? Please? I really want to be able to wear a little flirty dress and not have to freeze ninety percent of my skin to do so.
***
Dear mama nature: I do still like the snow and the cold and the wind, although we're starting to trail into miserable some nights. I recognize what you're trying to tell me, and I'll see what I can do about sleeping not alone, but please. Can you warm it up enough that I don't have to make the choice between sleeping cold and sleeping crowded?
***
Dear Blaise: you are broken. Why are you broken? Why why why why what did I do to deserve this? Okay, but besides the mud-ice I rode through? Please become fixed soon and for not very much money.
***
Dear words: we are done with this trope now. Ta!
~Sor
MOOP!
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Dear Kat...
on 2011-02-16 06:42 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2011-02-16 08:53 pm (UTC)...Just had my turn, made it through exactly two sentences.
Also, the fic said, "where I lost my virility" instead of "lost my virginity." And the Mary Sue main character is a vampire who puts human blood on her Count Chocula cereal instead of milk. *cracks up forever*
no subject
on 2011-02-16 09:34 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2011-02-17 12:18 am (UTC)no subject
on 2011-02-16 11:46 pm (UTC)This made me laugh. A lot:
DEAR HUGE FUCKING BUG WITH TOO MANY LEGS THAT IS ON THE WALL: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
I'm still giggling, even.
I would have reacted the same way, but with threats of feeding it to my gecko.
no subject
on 2011-02-17 07:19 am (UTC)2) Sorry to hear your bicycle is broken. the goods news is that it is most like something very cheap/easy(^a) to fix!
^a if one knows how to fix it, which I don't - sorry. :(
no subject
on 2011-02-17 10:40 am (UTC)I apologize about all the emails I've been sending when I know you're busy. If there is a way for me to get in touch with you without it being overwhelming, please let me know!